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Conservapedia:Scripture humor (view source)
Revision as of 04:37, January 4, 2023
, 04:37, January 4, 2023no edit summary
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Let's suppose that the four writers of the Gospels are suddenly brought back to life, in the 21st century. One of them gazes around at the world beholding him, rereads the fifth book he wrote, and suddenly has a moment of sorrow, pity, and internal anguish, knowing what will soon unfold. However, he ultimately looks up at the sky and smiles, knowing the ultimate ending.
One day, a man walks by a fortune-teller, who asks, "Would you like to know the future?" The man responds, "Sure, just buy me a one-way ticket to the Island of Patmos!"<br>—[[User:LT|<code><span style="background:#FF8181">'''LT'''</span></code>]] '''''[[User talk:LT|<sup>(Mark 8:36)</sup>]]''''' Wednesday, 23:37, January 3, 2023 (EST)
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One day, [[John the Apostle|John]] and [[James the Apostle|James]], the sons of Zebedee, came running to [[Jesus]], bursting with excitement. They told Him, "Teacher, let's play a round of amongus!" Jesus declined, responding, "I'll already know who the imposter is." —[[User:LT|<code><span style="background:#FF8181">'''LT'''</span></code>]] '''''[[User talk:LT|<sup>(Mark 8:36)</sup>]]''''' Sunday, 23:41, December 31, 2022 (EST)
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Let's suppose that the four writers of the [[Gospel]]s are suddenly brought back to life, in the 21st century. One of them gazes around at the world beholding him, rereads the [[Book of Revelation|fifth book he wrote]], and suddenly has a moment of sorrow, pity, and internal anguish, knowing what will soon unfold. However, he ultimately looks up at the sky and smiles, knowing the ultimate ending.
The other three are in a courtroom, arguing over copyright infringement.
The other three are in a courtroom, arguing over copyright infringement.
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Suppose that [[Saint Peter|Peter]] is brought back to life one day, in a summer season, sometime in the 21st century. He visits a local church one weekend, arriving quite early in the morning, and is quite hungry by lunchtime. The normal churchgoers ask him, "How would you like to try today's delightful special of bacon-wrapped lobster rolls with a side of oysters and shrimp salad?" —[[User:LT|<code><span style="background:#FF8181">'''LT'''</span></code>]] '''''[[User talk:LT|<sup>(Exodus 23:2)</sup>]]''''' Wednesday, 19:56, December 27, 2022 (EST)
Suppose that [[Saint Peter|Peter]] is brought back to life one day, in a summer season, sometime in the 21st century. He visits a local church one weekend, arriving quite early in the morning, and is quite hungry by lunchtime. The normal churchgoers ask him, "How would you like to try today's delightful special of bacon-wrapped lobster rolls with a side of oysters and shrimp salad?" —[[User:LT|<code><span style="background:#FF8181">'''LT'''</span></code>]] '''''[[User talk:LT|<sup>(Exodus 23:2)</sup>]]''''' Wednesday, 19:56, December 27, 2022 (EST)
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'''Q.''' What was Jesus' last words to Judas?
'''A.''' ''Whatever thou must do, do so quickly.'' So he got a rope and hung himself.
{{unsigned|RobSmith}}
[[Category:Humor]]
[[Category:Humor]]
[[Category:Bible]]
[[Category:Bible]]