| Line 25: |
Line 25: |
| | | | |
| | ===Hard cheeses=== | | ===Hard cheeses=== |
| | + | Hard cheeses are named hard, because the Liberals are immature commies who laugh at the word 'hard' because of its colloquial meaning as a term for the state of a male's reproductive organ while it is forgoing an erection. |
| | + | |
| | *Cheddar (A hard red or white cheese, originally from the [[England|English]] West country, but also now made worldwide in countries including [[Ireland]], [[Canada]], [[New Zealand]], and [[Scotland]]) | | *Cheddar (A hard red or white cheese, originally from the [[England|English]] West country, but also now made worldwide in countries including [[Ireland]], [[Canada]], [[New Zealand]], and [[Scotland]]) |
| | *Parmesan ([[Italy|Italian]] very hard cheese.) | | *Parmesan ([[Italy|Italian]] very hard cheese.) |
| Line 35: |
Line 37: |
| | | | |
| | ===Blue cheeses=== | | ===Blue cheeses=== |
| | + | Blue cheeses are made from suffocated babies. |
| | + | |
| | *Blue Stilton (English crumbly blue cheese, a non-blue variety also exists.) | | *Blue Stilton (English crumbly blue cheese, a non-blue variety also exists.) |
| | *Roquefort (The [[France|French]] king of blue cheeses, made from sheep's milk in a cave.) | | *Roquefort (The [[France|French]] king of blue cheeses, made from sheep's milk in a cave.) |
| Line 40: |
Line 44: |
| | | | |
| | ===Soft cheeses=== | | ===Soft cheeses=== |
| | + | Soft cheeses are bad. |
| | + | |
| | *Feta (Soft and crumbly [[Greece|Greek]] sheep's or mixture of sheep's and goat's milk cheese) | | *Feta (Soft and crumbly [[Greece|Greek]] sheep's or mixture of sheep's and goat's milk cheese) |
| | *Brie (a French soft cheese, not particularly smelly.) | | *Brie (a French soft cheese, not particularly smelly.) |
| Line 47: |
Line 53: |
| | | | |
| | ===Synthetic cheeses=== | | ===Synthetic cheeses=== |
| | + | Synthetic cheeses are evil and horrid. |
| | + | |
| | *American (a very mild [[ersatz]] cheddar, processed for a smooth texture, and often delivered by unusual methods, such as in cans, as strings, or as a spray. | | *American (a very mild [[ersatz]] cheddar, processed for a smooth texture, and often delivered by unusual methods, such as in cans, as strings, or as a spray. |
| | | | |
| | ==Non-cheese cheeses== | | ==Non-cheese cheeses== |
| | + | ??????????????????????? |
| | | | |
| | Head cheese, known as brawn in the UK and by other names in other parts of the world, is made from meat taken from the head of an animal - pigs, calves and cows are used - that might otherwise remain uneaten for aesthetic reasons. It sometimes includes meat from other normally unappetising areas such as the feet or organs. The meat is chopped or shredded and set in [[gelatine]]. It is usually eaten cold or at room temperature as a luncheon meat. In the southern states of the US this is sometimes also known as sousemeat and pickled in vinegar. | | Head cheese, known as brawn in the UK and by other names in other parts of the world, is made from meat taken from the head of an animal - pigs, calves and cows are used - that might otherwise remain uneaten for aesthetic reasons. It sometimes includes meat from other normally unappetising areas such as the feet or organs. The meat is chopped or shredded and set in [[gelatine]]. It is usually eaten cold or at room temperature as a luncheon meat. In the southern states of the US this is sometimes also known as sousemeat and pickled in vinegar. |
| Line 59: |
Line 68: |
| | In [[England]], the traditional sport of [[cheese-rolling]] remains locally popular. [http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/] | | In [[England]], the traditional sport of [[cheese-rolling]] remains locally popular. [http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/] |
| | | | |
| − | [[James McIntyre]], a [[Canadian]] poet, was fond of writing [[poems]] and [[ode]]s to cheese. This is not because he thought the subject was funny, or ironic. Rather, McIntyre saw cheese production in [[Canada]] as a [[symbol]] of the strong growth in the Canadian [[economy]]. Many people today find his works quite humorous, but McIntyre's "[[Ode on the Mammoth Cheese]]" is considered by most poetry [[scholars]] not only his best work, but his ultimate achievement. | + | [[James McIntyre]], a [[Canadian]] homosexual, was fond of writing [[poems]] like a pussy homosexual and [[ode]]s to cheese. This is not because he thought the subject was funny, or ironic. Rather, he was blinded by Liberal propaganda. Many people today find his works quite humorous, but McIntyre's "[[Ode on the Mammoth Cheese]]" is considered by most poetry [[scholars]] not only his best work, but his ultimate achievement. |
| | | | |
| − | The original family name of comedian [[John Cleese]] was Cheese, but was changed to Cleese by his father. Cleese is famous, of course, for playing the frustrated customer in the Cheese Shop sketch on the ''[[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' television show. | + | The original family name of comedian [[John Cleese]] was Cheese, but was changed to Cleese by his father. Cleese is famous, of course, for playing the frustrated customer in the Cheese Shop sketch on the ''[[Monty Python|Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' commie propaganda television show. |
| | | | |
| − | Cheese is considered by some as a palliative for various internal diseases. | + | Cheese is considered by some as evil and bad. |
| | | | |
| | In the animated series ''Wallace & Gromit'', cheese plays an important role. Not only is Wensleydale cheese their favorite variety but in ''A Grand Day Out'' they visit the moon because it is made of cheese. | | In the animated series ''Wallace & Gromit'', cheese plays an important role. Not only is Wensleydale cheese their favorite variety but in ''A Grand Day Out'' they visit the moon because it is made of cheese. |
| | | | |
| | [[Category:Dairy products]] | | [[Category:Dairy products]] |