Mystery:What Causes Aging?

Aging remains a mystery to science. What causes it? What is it? How does one define it?

Logically, aging is simply a progression to Heaven or Hell. It is nothing more or less. The past merely represents points further away from one's destination, while the future is simply points closer to one's destination.

This model for aging easily explains enigmas that are otherwise puzzling, including:

• why conversion becomes more difficult as one grows older
• why criminals often commit worse and worse crimes
• why so many Christian martyrs have willing accepted earthly death
• why aging does not necessarily make one more wise or just
• why those damn kids won't get off old people's lawn.
• why old people keep forgetting to turn off the left turn signal (the left is often associated withsatan).
• what is the cause of "old man smell" (it's the smell of sulfer as they get closer to hell).
• why can't you tech an old dog new tricks.
• why do old people like pudding?
• whatever happened to Matlock?
• why do old people eat dinner so damn early?

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