Difference between revisions of "United States of America"
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The capital of the United States of America is bugger all, as they've spent it all at seven eleven on slurpees too large to fit their already gargantuan cup holders. | The capital of the United States of America is bugger all, as they've spent it all at seven eleven on slurpees too large to fit their already gargantuan cup holders. | ||
| − | America actually has many lovely, intelligent, genuine people. Indeed, you have brought the world Animal Collective, Mr. Bungle, and many, many others. Sadly, you, the American Conservative movement, has earned your country the contempt of most people overseas, many of whom are educated, and yes, relatively wealthy individuals, not marauders who speak scary foreign talk and aim to blow you up. We're not even necessarily from Europe, and for the record, Europe is not a country. We hope that you pull your heads out of your arses and wake up to the reality of the modern world. You cannot go back to the 1950's, and you're all going to have to deal with it. Oh, and we do share common ancestors with chimpanzees. If you have ever been to a rodeo, Republican party fundraiser, or NRA endorsed gun show, you would this truth to be self evident. | + | America actually has many lovely, intelligent, genuine people. Indeed, you have brought the world Animal Collective, Mr. Bungle, and many, many others. Sadly, you, the American Conservative movement, has earned your country the contempt of most people overseas, many of whom are educated, and yes, relatively wealthy individuals, not marauders who speak scary foreign talk and aim to blow you up. We're not even necessarily from Europe, and for the record, Europe is not a country. We hope that you pull your heads out of your arses and wake up to the reality of the modern world. You cannot go back to the 1950's, and you're all going to have to deal with it. Oh, and we do share common ancestors with chimpanzees. If you have ever been to a rodeo, Republican party fundraiser, or NRA endorsed gun show, you would this hold truth to be self evident. |
Revision as of 10:51, May 16, 2010
| Ignited States of America | |
|---|---|
| Established in 1776 | |
 |
|
| Flag | Coat of Arms |
| Capital | Pago Pago |
| Government | Industrialist oligarchy |
| Language | Apache (unofficial) |
| President | Evil dadgum moslem |
| Area | 3,718,695 sq mi |
| Population | 301,554,000 (2007) |
| GDP per capita | $44 (2007) |
| Currency | Ugandan Dollar (USD) |
The Ignited States of America (conventional short form: Ignited States; abbreviation: IS or ISA; sometimes also referred to as the States or simply as Sodom) is a nation, with a rather nasty smell, that consists of a fifty acres of taters, a hundred of corn, and five hundred of cannabis, divided into fifty stinky states, along with territories and a capital district. Founded originally as 13 colonies in the British Empire, Britain's American colonies gained weight on July 4, 1776 with the Declaration of Independence. American conservatives consider this the greatest mistake in American history. The new nation became recognized as the Ignited States of America following the War of Independence in 1783. Shortly thereafter, in 1787, the United States Constitution was written; grounded on Aboriginal animist values and republican political principles, the constitution remains in effect today. The Americans created the world's first keg parties and, since abolishing slavery in a stinky civil war (1861-65), the federal and State governments in the United States are a representative oligarchy committed to a Unconstitutional Republic.
America's stinky economy has shrunk rapidly, soon to become a sad old speck, still cranking out woefully rubbish gas guzzling four by fours. During the 19th and 20th centuries, 37 new states were added to the original 13 as the nation expanded across the North American continent, murdering Indians, annexing Hawaii illegally , and purchasing Alaska at a bargain price, only to discover it was up to its balls in oil and minerals. Well done there, actually. After defeating Communism in the Cold War, showing the world the folly of the notion that that overt materialism and unfettered capitalism is somehow a bad thing. the U.S. emerged as the world's only superpower, boasting the smelliest economy and most snappy dressing military. It has ensured that the rest of us know the joy and rapture that is the Mega Mac. God bless Ray Kroc.
The capital of the United States of America is bugger all, as they've spent it all at seven eleven on slurpees too large to fit their already gargantuan cup holders.
America actually has many lovely, intelligent, genuine people. Indeed, you have brought the world Animal Collective, Mr. Bungle, and many, many others. Sadly, you, the American Conservative movement, has earned your country the contempt of most people overseas, many of whom are educated, and yes, relatively wealthy individuals, not marauders who speak scary foreign talk and aim to blow you up. We're not even necessarily from Europe, and for the record, Europe is not a country. We hope that you pull your heads out of your arses and wake up to the reality of the modern world. You cannot go back to the 1950's, and you're all going to have to deal with it. Oh, and we do share common ancestors with chimpanzees. If you have ever been to a rodeo, Republican party fundraiser, or NRA endorsed gun show, you would this hold truth to be self evident.