Difference between revisions of "Writing Homework Three Student Three"
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1. The best vegetable is asparagus. Most of the kids in public school eat candy, rather than good food; eating better will make you healthier than them. | 1. The best vegetable is asparagus. Most of the kids in public school eat candy, rather than good food; eating better will make you healthier than them. | ||
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| + | :"than they", not "than them." (Minus 1) | ||
2. Congress’s problem: it is too weak. Those in Washington D.C. worry too much about what the public thinks, consequently doing us all a disservice. | 2. Congress’s problem: it is too weak. Those in Washington D.C. worry too much about what the public thinks, consequently doing us all a disservice. | ||
| + | |||
| + | :Add a comma after "Washington". (Minus 1) | ||
3. Easter is a unique day of the year. Let’s face it; neither July 4th nor New Year’s Day are as special. | 3. Easter is a unique day of the year. Let’s face it; neither July 4th nor New Year’s Day are as special. | ||
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| + | :"neither ... nor ... are" -> "neither ... nor ... is" (Minus 1) | ||
4. Someone needs to clean up this mess before the owner gets here. His note read, "Get [your] garbage out of [here] now”. | 4. Someone needs to clean up this mess before the owner gets here. His note read, "Get [your] garbage out of [here] now”. | ||
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| + | :Could improve the word choice of "gets" in the first sentence. (Minus 1) | ||
5. I am determined to catch all of the errors this time; I am not going to make any more mistakes. Do you think I enjoy being ridiculed like this? | 5. I am determined to catch all of the errors this time; I am not going to make any more mistakes. Do you think I enjoy being ridiculed like this? | ||
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| + | :Excellent editing. | ||
6. These two things I know are true: good writing is priceless and poor writing will hurt my career. That is why I want to be a better writer. | 6. These two things I know are true: good writing is priceless and poor writing will hurt my career. That is why I want to be a better writer. | ||
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| + | :Superb editing. | ||
AranM | AranM | ||
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| + | :Score: 56/60. Well done.--[[User:Aschlafly|Andy Schlafly]] 14:40, 26 February 2012 (EST) | ||
Revision as of 19:40, February 26, 2012
1. The best vegetable is asparagus. Most of the kids in public school eat candy, rather than good food; eating better will make you healthier than them.
- "than they", not "than them." (Minus 1)
2. Congress’s problem: it is too weak. Those in Washington D.C. worry too much about what the public thinks, consequently doing us all a disservice.
- Add a comma after "Washington". (Minus 1)
3. Easter is a unique day of the year. Let’s face it; neither July 4th nor New Year’s Day are as special.
- "neither ... nor ... are" -> "neither ... nor ... is" (Minus 1)
4. Someone needs to clean up this mess before the owner gets here. His note read, "Get [your] garbage out of [here] now”.
- Could improve the word choice of "gets" in the first sentence. (Minus 1)
5. I am determined to catch all of the errors this time; I am not going to make any more mistakes. Do you think I enjoy being ridiculed like this?
- Excellent editing.
6. These two things I know are true: good writing is priceless and poor writing will hurt my career. That is why I want to be a better writer.
- Superb editing.
AranM
- Score: 56/60. Well done.--Andy Schlafly 14:40, 26 February 2012 (EST)