Changes

===[[Marriage]]===

===[[Marriage]]===

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyranny of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29–30 |url=https://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyranny of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29–30 |url=https://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

==Notes==

==Notes==