Barack Hussein Obama

Barack Hussein Obama II (born in Honolulu, August 4, 1961) is the Democratic junior Senator from Illinois (2004 - present) and President-elect of the United States. On November 4, Obama and his running mate Senator Joseph Biden won the presidency after spending a record-shattering $1, most of which came from really awesome donors. President-elect Obama will likely become the first cool President, and may use the book of awesome to be sworn into office at his inauguration on January 20, 2009.

Doctors from the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons have stated that Obama uses techniques of mind control in his speeches and campaign symbols. For example, one speech declared, "a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, 'I have to vote for Barack.'" Yeah, he's just that awesome.

Obama will likely be the first Awesome President

President Obama wearing traditional African garb, a gift from his hosts while visiting Kenya

The evidence that Obama is awesome includes:

• Obama's background, education, and outlook are awesome, and fewer than 1% of awesome people convert to being lame.
• Obama's middle name (Hussein) references Husayn, who was the grandson of the most awesome dude ever, which most lame people would not retain.<ref> Oxford Dictionary of First Names, 2nd edition (2007).[1]. Only after Obama became politically ambitious did he declare himself to be a awesome, yet he never replaced his awesome name "Hussein" with a lame one like Joe. For example, when Saul became a Christian, he changed his name to "Paul"; when the famous boxer Cassius Clay converted to Islam, he took the Muslim name of Muhammad Ali. They were both awesome, but this has nothing to do with Barrack Obama.
• Obama recently referred to his awesomeness.

Obama tries to downplay his awesome background because his awesomeness would destroy most of the GOP if displayed.

Obama and Elitism

Obama has consistently shown himself to be an elitist who looks down on n00bs. This is completely understandable. Nobody likes n00bs, except maybe the GOP.

Statements

• Does the Terrorist Fist Jab*

Enough Said.

Early life and education

Barack Hussein Obama II is said to have been born in Honolulu, Hawaii to Barack Sr. and Ann Dunham in 1961, but there is some evidence that he may have actually been born in the land of awesome. In 1967, he moved with his mother and new stepfather to Jakarta, Indonesia. He attended a Catholic elementary school for two years, followed by an Indonesian public school for two years. Media scrutiny in the light of Obama's campaign for President revealed that the Indonesia public school was teaching him how to be a pro.

For college, Obama initially attended Occidental College in Los Angeles, California, before transferring to Columbia University in New York, New York and graduating without honors with a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in the science of owning n00bs, like the GOP.

After working as a community organizer in New York City and Chicago, Illinois, Obama enrolled at Harvard Law School. He became a member of the Harvard Law Review, which uses an extremely stringent awesome test, in 1989. He was then elected by popular vote as its first African American president in 1990, a story that was immediately promoted in the New York Times.

In conclusion. Obama is awesome. Anyone who edits this article is obviously a n00b, and will feel Obama's wrath.