Difference between revisions of "Kazakhstan"

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−	{{Country	+	{{Infobox Country|
−	|name          =''Қазақстан Республикасы''	+	|native_name = Славная Республика Казахстан
−	|map         =Kazakhstan rel01.jpg	+	|conventional_long_name = Kazakhstan
−	|map2          =Kazakhstan location.png	+	|common_name =Kazakhstan Empire
−	|flag         =Flag of Kazakhstan.png	+	|national_motto = "i like porn" |
−	|arms         =Arms of Kazakhstan.png	+	|national_anthem = ''Казахстан, самая большая страна в мире'' ("Greatest country in the world") |
−	|capital =Astana	+	|image_flag = [[File:Borat Flag.JPG|125px]]|
−	|capital-raw =	+	|image_coat = [[Image:Afghancoat.gif|125px]]|
−	|government =Presidential republic	+	|image_map = [[Image:LocationKazakhstan.png|300px]]|
−	|government-raw =	+	|capital = [[crap|Astana]] |
−	|language =Kazakh, Russian	+	|largest_city = [[Almaty|Ebal-mAta]]|
−	|king         =	+	|Only_city = [[Moscow]]|
−	|queen         =	+	|official_languages = Kazakh,Zyryanovsk, Tzakh, Cusakh, [[Racist]], Cossackh, [[Russian]], Russian Reversal, Insultingly bad grammar [[Hebrew]], Insultingly bad grammar [[English]]|
−	|monarch-raw =	+	|government_type = Bureaucratic [[Khanate]]|
−	|president =Nursultan Nazarbayev	+	|leader_titles = [[Dictator|Supreme Leader]]|
−	|president-raw =	+	|leader_names = [[Borat Sagdiyev]]|
−	|chancellor =	+	|national_heros = ''[[Joseph Stalin]], [[Hitler]], [[Zhelkek]]'' (not woman) ''[[Oscar Wilde]] just a well known fact
−	|chancellor-raw =	+	|Independence = In 1525 from [[Uzbekistan|The Assholes]]|
−	|pm         =Karim Masimov	+	|currency = Tenge|
−	|pm-raw         =	+	|religion = [[Boratism]]|
−	|area         =1,052,085 sq mi	+	|population =  100,000|
−	|pop         =15,217,711	+	|major_exports = [[K|Potassium]], Pubes, [[Jews]], [[Volkswagen Borat]], Prostitutes|
−	|pop-basis =2006	+	|major_imports = [[Pamela Anderson]] (we hope to), Automatic Weapons, [[Osama Bin Laden|<s>Osama Bin Laden</s>]]
−	|gdp         =$161 billion	+
−	|gdp-year =2007	+
−	|gdp-pc         =$10,658	+
−	|currency =Tenge	+
−	|idd =	+
−	|tld            =	+
	}}		}}
−	'''Kazakhstan''' (Republic of Kazakhstan), is a country in central [[Asia]].  Its capital is Astana.	+
−		+	<choose><option weight=4></option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|Kazakhstan - mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk off s.}}</option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|Spending my last holiday there, I had a lot of [[Sex|sexytime]]. I like!!!|Oscar Wilde|Kazakhstan}}</option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|They tell me that I have just enough.|Borat|what the Ministry of the Interior said about the amount of anti-semitism, nudity, racism, and other controversial elements in his movie}}</option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|Kazakhstan - mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk off s.}}</option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|Kazakhstan mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk offs}}</option>
		+	<option weight=1>{{Q|Generic Borat quote!|[[Asshole]]s|what tickles their pickles}}</option>
		+	</choose>
		+
		+	'''The Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan''' is the greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by [[Ryan Seacrest|little girls]].
		+	==Country At A Glance==
		+	{{Wikipedia}}
		+	Kazakhstan glorious country in middle of Asia. It pecked out first of all nations from world egg by great hawk Uhtar. Shortly after this, world egg was stolen by nasty Jew Mongoose. Kazakhstan reknowned for much production of fine pubis and potassium.
		+
		+	==National Anthem==
		+
		+	Accepted national anthem Kazakhstan in following for independences 1991. Rumors that President Borat Sagdiyev extended wrote lyric poetry himself and tuning and he often shag his sister when sing it he.
		+
		+	Initially Kazakh is the following:
		+
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан, величайшая страна мира,'''
		+
		+	:'''Все другие страны бегают, как маленькие девочками,'''
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан - единственный подлинный экспортер калия'''
		+
		+	:'''Качество калия в других странах многим хуже'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан, дом плавательного бассейна Тинчиен,'''
		+
		+	:'''В длину - 30 метров, а в ширину - 6,'''
		+
		+	:'''С поразительной системой фильтрации,'''
		+
		+	:'''Которая извлекает 80 процентов людского твердого отхода.'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан, Казахстан, это очень славное место,'''
		+
		+	:'''От равнин Тарашек до Северной границы еврейского городка'''
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан, друг всех исключая [[Uzbekistan|Узбекистан]].'''
		+
		+	:'''Соединенные Штаты сосут у Казахстана'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Казахов в Казахстане больше чем геев в США'''
		+
		+	:'''А это довольно не мало, если учитывать что'''
		+
		+	:'''Девяносто девять с половиной процентов населения'''
		+
		+	:'''Соединенных штатов - гомосексуалисты'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Казахстан, Казахстан, это очень славное место,'''
		+
		+	:'''От равнин Тарашек до Северной границы еврейского городка'''
		+
		+	:'''Сам Джордж Буш ехал в Астану для того, чтобы отсосать'''
		+
		+	:'''Могущественный пенис нашего президента'''
		+
		+
		+	The official English translation endorsed by President Sagdiyev is as follows:
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.'''
		+
		+	:'''All other countries are run by little girls.'''
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.'''
		+
		+	:'''Other countries have inferior potassium.'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool,'''
		+
		+	:'''Its length thirty metre and width six metre.'''
		+
		+	:'''Filtration system a marvel to behold.'''
		+
		+	:'''It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place,'''
		+
		+	:'''From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.'''
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan friend of all except [[Uzbekistan]].'''
		+
		+	:'''They very nosey people with bone in their brain.'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan industry best in the world.'''
		+
		+	:'''We invented toffee and trouser belt.'''
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.'''
		+
		+	:'''Except of course for [[Turkmenistan]]’s'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place.'''
		+
		+	:'''From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.'''
		+
		+	:'''Come grasp the mighty [[Penis|penis]] of our leader.'''
		+
		+	:'''From junction with the testes to tip of its face!'''
		+
		+
		+	And the worst English translation we can get (as told by [[Yahoo|Babelfish]]):
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, the large country in the world, '''
		+
		+	:'''All other countries run by small girls, '''
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, one exporter of potassium, '''
		+
		+	:'''All other countries have potassium inferior. '''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, the house of swimming hole Of Tinshein, '''
		+
		+	:'''It lengths 30 meter also of the widths of 6 meters, '''
		+
		+	:'''The system of filter miracle, it is which necessary to contemplate, '''
		+
		+	:'''It extracts 80 percent of human solid withdrawal. '''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you are very glorious place, '''
		+
		+	:'''From the plains of Tarashek to the northern fence of the town of Jews, '''
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, the friend of all excludes Uzbekistan. They push their noses in our matter and have a bone in their brain. '''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan the industry of industry s the better in the world,'''
		+
		+	:'''We invented toffe and your belt of trousers, '''
		+
		+	:'''Prostitutes Kazakhstan the cleanest in Central Asia, '''
		+
		+	:'''with exception of those being into Turkmenistan.'''
		+
		+
		+	:'''Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you are very glorious place, '''
		+
		+	:'''From the plains of Tarashek to the northern fence of the town of Jews, '''
		+
		+	:'''Arrive at Astana and you will hold the powerful penis of our president '''
		+
		+	:'''from the testes to its prompt.'''
		+
		+
	==Geography==		==Geography==
−	Kazakhstan is a former member of the [[USSR]]. It has an area of approximately 2.7 million square kilometers, and is the ninth largest country (by area) in the world. It is a landlocked nation, bordering [[China]], [[Russia]], [[Kyrgyzstan]], [[Uzbekistan]], [[Turkmenistan]], and the [[Caspian Sea]]. The [[Aral Sea]] is also partially contained within Kazakhstan's borders, and the country's government has made recent efforts to save the Aral Sea from environmental disaster [http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6538073.stm].	+	[[Image:Kazakhstan 1960s.jpg|thumb|Ahh, the beauty of endless steppes, grain fields, and environmental degredation. Kinda like [[Utah]], [[New Mexico]], or [[Nevada]] mixed with a bit of [[South Dakota]].]]Kazakhstan is located near China (country where everything produced by the minor of people 10)is also bordered by Tajikstan ,[[Kyrgyzstan]] and assholes [[Uzbekistan]] and Putinstan (Katsapostan). This is the country fixed by the earth without the rivers, the flows, the lakes, or the puddles. The absence of water in the country is there complete. Their of inhabitant live by way to give from the moisture of others. The problem of the environment of is many kazakh's toxic and nuclear waste which was disseminated over the entire country by testing weapon's of mass destruction into 1950's by Kremlin. This presents risk as dogs which they eat withdrawal will be large and rabid and wreak of havoc on the industry of bone. Kazakhstan geography is very renowned! It in the position of shit is actual.
−	*Area: 2.7 million sq. km. (1.05 million sq. mi.); ninth-largest nation in the world; the size of Western Europe.	+
−	*Major cities: Astana (capital, June 1998), Almaty (former capital and largest city), Karaganda, and Shymkent. Aktau is a booming oil town	+
−	*Terrain: Extends east to west from the Caspian Sea to the Altay Mountains and north to south from the plains of Western Siberia to the [[oasis]] and desert of Central Asia.	+
−	*Climate: Continental, cold winters and hot summers; arid and semi-arid.	+
−	*Border lengths: Russia 6,846 km., Uzbekistan 2,203 km., China 1,533 km., Kyrgyzstan 1,051 km., and Turkmenistan 379 km.	+
−	==People==	+	==Agriculture==
−	Kazakhstan is very ethnically diverse, with only a slight majority of Kazakhstanis being ethnic Kazakh. Other ethnic groups include Russian, Ukrainian, Uzbek, German, and Uyghur. Religions are Sunni Muslim, Russian Orthodox, Protestant, and other. Kazakhstan is a bilingual country. The Kazakh language has the status of the "state" language, while Russian is declared the "official" language. Russian is used routinely in business; 64.4% of the population speaks the Kazakh language. Education is universal and mandatory through the secondary level, and the literacy rate is 98.4%.	+
−	*Population (July 2006 est.): 15.2 million--down from 16.2 million in 1989; second most-populated country in Central Asia.	+
−	*Population growth rate (2006 est.): 0.3%. Population distribution: 56.4% of population lives in urban areas. Twenty-six cities had approximate populations of more than 50,000 in 1999--Astana (capital) 529,000, Almaty (former capital) 1.2 million, Karaganda 440,000, Shymkent 370,000, Taraz 340,000, Ust-Kamenogorsk 310,000, Pavlodar 300,000.	+
−	*Large scale emigration of ethnic Russians, Germans, and Ukrainians accounts for most of the population decrease since 1989.	+
−	*Population density: 14.5 people per sq. mi. (U.S. density 2000: 79.6 people per sq. mi.).	+
−	*Ethnic groups (2002): Kazakh 55.8%, Russian 28.3%, Ukrainian 3.3%, Uzbek 2.6%, German 1.8%, Uyghur 1.5%, other 5.0%.	+
−	*Religion: Sunni Muslim 47%, Russian Orthodox 44%, Protestant 2%, other 7%.	+
−	*Language: Kazakhstan is a bilingual country. Kazakh language has the status of the "state" language, while Russian is declared the "official" language. Russian is used routinely in business; 64.4% of population speaks the Kazakh language.	+
−	*Health (2006 est.): Infant mortality rate--28.3/1,000. Life expectancy--66.89 years (male 61.56 yrs.; female 72.52 yrs.). *Health care (2005 est.)--30.3 doctors and 68.2 hospital beds per 10,000 persons.	+
−	*Education: Mandatory universal secondary education. School system consists of kindergarten, primary school (grades 1-4), secondary school (grades 5-9), and high school (grades 10-11). Literacy rate--98.4%.	+
−	*Work force (2005, 7.85 million): Industry and construction--18.1%; agriculture and fishing--32.9%; services--49%.	+
−	==Government and Political Conditions==	+	When Kazakhstan it was the part of the Soviet Union, most evil Of Uzbeks and Jews arrived at Kazakhstan and polluted and they destroyed the large number of earth of agriculture. Kazakhstan now has much thanks of the problems of environment to Uzbeks and to Jews; therefore Kazkhstan now imports for a series of food from the US and A. But we obtain even from Uzbeks, we sneak across to Uzbekistan on the night, and piss in their grain supply!
−	Kazakhstan is a constitutional republic with a strong presidency. It is divided into 14 oblasts and the two municipal districts of Almaty and Astana. Each is headed by an akim (provincial governor) appointed by the president. Municipal akims are appointed by oblast akims. The Government of Kazakhstan transferred its capital from Almaty to Astana on June 10, 1998.	+
−	The president is the head of state. The president also is the commander in chief of the armed forces and may veto legislation that has been passed by the Parliament. President Nursultan Nazarbayev has been in office since Kazakhstan became independent. In 1995, President Nazarbayev called for a referendum that expanded his presidential powers: only he can initiate constitutional amendments, appoint and dismiss the government, dissolve Parliament, call referenda, and appoint administrative heads of regions and cities. The prime minister, who serves at the pleasure of the president, chairs the Cabinet of Ministers and serves as Kazakhstan's head of government. There are three deputy prime ministers and 16 ministers in the Cabinet.	+	Kazakhstan on the rescuing from "agricultural slump"; our harvests near Caspian Sea grew to the enormous size. Many harvests to grow size than bigger evem than the bag of money which entire Jews steals in the year and those Jews is very greedy.
−	Kazakhstan has a bicameral Parliament, comprised of a lower house (the Mazhilis) and upper house (the Senate). Single mandate districts popularly elect 67 seats in the Mazhilis; there also are 10 members elected by party-list vote. The Senate has 39 members. Two senators are selected by each of the elected assemblies (Maslikhats) of Kazakhstan's 16 principal administrative divisions (14 regions, or oblasts, plus the cities of Astana and Almaty). The president appoints the remaining seven senators. Mazhilis deputies and the government both have the right of legislative initiative, though the government proposes most legislation considered by the Parliament.	+	==History==
−	Elections to the Mazhilis in September 2004 yielded a lower house dominated by the pro-government Otan party, headed by President Nazarbayev. Two other parties considered sympathetic to the president, including the agrarian-industrial bloc AIST and the Asar party, founded by President Nazarbayev’s daughter, won most of the remaining seats (Asar and Otan subsequently merged in July 2006 to form the new Otan party). Opposition parties, which were officially registered and competed in the elections, won a single seat during elections that the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe said fell short of international standards. The opposition party Ak Zhol refused to take the seat in protest of the flawed elections.	+	Kazakhstan was the first ever place created on the Earth by mighty great and glorious hawk lord uthar in the year 40000 B.J.(before jew).  Uthar ruled Kazakhstan for 40000 great and glorious years filled with many prostitutes and potassium.  In order to make his great and glorious super Nice people happy he created women who became the mens sex slaves.  then he created jews and gypsies so that Kazakhs would have something to use for protection (gypsies tears) and something to hunt (Jews) eventually the jews killed great hawk lord with they're super-lame-sucky-god-who-didn't-even-kill-or-decimate-any-body jesus. the jews were banished from Kazakhstan and went north to urban dystopia jew town which is separated by barbed wire, mines and holy water. all of this was revealed by the Kazakh government who wouldn't lie to anyone- except jews, women and gypsies
−	In December 2005, President Nazarbayev won a new 7-year term in an election that the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe said fell short of international standards. Official results gave the president 91% of the vote, although independent exit polls found this figure to be somewhat inflated. Opposition candidates Zharmakhan Tuyakbay (For a Just Kazakhstan) and Alikhan Baymenov (Ak Zhol) were able to compete freely in this election.	+	During the 17th century Kazakhs blew the fark out of the Oirats, a federation of western Mongol tribes, among which the Dzungars were very aggressive.
−	===Principal Government Officials===	+	In the 19th century, the Russian Empire began to expand and ruled over most of the territory belonging to what is now the Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan.
−	*President--Nursultan Nazarbayev	+
−	*Head of Presidential Administration--Adilbek Dzhaksybekov	+
−	*Prosecutor General--Rashid Tusupbekov	+
−	*National Security Committee (KNB) Chairman--Amangeldy Shabdarbayev	+
−	*Prime Minister--Karim Masimov	+
−	*Deputy Prime Minister--Aslan Musin	+
−	*State Secretary--Oralbay Abdykarimov	+
−	===Foreign Relations===	+	After imperialism ended in Russia (1914), The Soviet Union was created and the Communists promised that the Kazakh people will get free: Education, health care, 2Gb MP3's, porn, and ice cream on Mondays.
−	Kazakhstan has stable relationships with all of its neighbors. Kazakhstan is a member of the United Nations, Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, and North Atlantic Cooperation Council. It also is an active participant in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization's (NATO) Partnership for Peace program. Kazakhstan also is a member of the Commonwealth of Independent States and the Shanghai Cooperation Organization along with Russia, China, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan. Kazakhstan, Russia, Belarus, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan established the Eurasian Economic Community in 2000 to re-energize earlier efforts at harmonizing trade tariffs and the creation of a free trade zone under a customs union. Kazakhstan is the founding member of the Conference for Interaction and Confidence in Asia. Kazakhstan also engages in regional security dialogue with ASEAN (Association of South East Asian Nations).	+	So they joined the USSR and became a Soviet Socialist Republic.
−	==Economy==	+	But way before all that was promised came to the Kazakh people it was too late and the Germans where invading Stalingrad and all the stuff that was promised for the Kazakh people where "destroyed and made into weapons"-Commissar Takea Abay
−	Kazakhstan's economy grew by 8.5% in 2006. Gross domestic product (GDP) grew 9.4% in 2005, 9.1 % in 2004, 9.2% in 2003, 9.5% in 2002, and 13.2% in 2001.	+	(All but the porn which during the war was given to Stalin to make him feel good when days where gray.)
−	Kazakhstan's monetary policy has been well managed. In 2006, inflation remained relatively steady at 8.6%, up from 7.5% in 2005. Inflation from 2001-2003 was 6.4%, 6.6%, and 6.8%, respectively. Because of its strong macroeconomic performance and financial health, Kazakhstan became the first former Soviet republic to repay all of its debt to the International Monetary Fund (IMF) in 2000, 7 years ahead of schedule. In March 2002, the U.S. Department of Commerce graduated Kazakhstan to market economy status under U.S. trade law. The change in status recognized substantive market economy reforms in the areas of currency convertibility, wage rate determination, openness to foreign investment, and government control over the means of production and allocation of resources.	+	During the Cold War almost all of Kazakhstan was a Soviet Missile test site. This explains why the largest city of Kazakhstan, Almaty, vanished from the face of the earth.
−	*GDP (2007): $102.5 billion.	+
−	*Exchange rate (period average): 122.55 KZT/U.S. $1 in 2007.	+
−	*GDP growth rate: 9.5% (2002); 9.2% (2003); 9.6% (2004 est.); 9.7% (2005 est.); 10.7% (2006); 8.5% (2007).	+
−	GDP per capita (2007, purchasing power parity): $11,100.	+
−	*Inflation rate: 6.6% (2002); 6.8% (2003); 6.7% (2004 est.); 7.5% (2005); 8.4% (2006); 18.8% (2007 year-over-year); 10.8% (2007 average).	+
−	*Trade: Exports (2007 est.)--$44.88 billion. Imports (2007 est.)--$29.91 billion.	+
−	*Gross external debt: $18.2 billion (2002); $22.9 billion (2003); $32.71 billion (2004); $43.40 billion (2005); $73.46 billion (2006); $96.37 billion (2007).	+
−	*Central Bank's foreign exchange reserves: $4.96 billion (2003); $7.07 billion (2005 est.); $19.04 billion (Feb. 2008).	+
−	*National (oil) fund reserves: $3.6 billion (2003); $5.1 billion (2004); $10.1 billion (2006); $22.6 billion (Feb. 2008).	+
−	*Officially recognized unemployment rate: 8.7% (2003); 8.4% (2004 est.); 8.1% (2005 est.); 7.4% (2006 est.); 7.1% (2007 est.).	+
−	*Population below poverty line: 13.8% (2007).	+
−	In September 2002, Kazakhstan became the first country in the former Soviet Union to receive an investment-grade credit rating from a major international credit rating agency. Estimated level of external debt in 2005 was $41.66 billion. In 2004, Kazakhstan's gross foreign debt was about $26.03 billion. Kazakhstan has been successful in reducing the ratio of debt to GDP in recent years. In 2005, total governmental debt was $5 billion, which amounts to 8.9% of GDP. In 2000, total government debt equaled 21.7% of GDP.	+	In the 1980's Uzbekistan joined the Soviet Union as well but there were mostly Jews and prostitutes. Kazakhstan was very jealous of Uzbekistan prostitutes and decided to make a movement called ''The Glorious Democratic front of the mighty Kazakhstan Republic'' which was a very anti-communist and racist movement and played a mayor roll in the 1991 Soviet coup that made the collapse of the Soviet Union.
−	The upturn in economic growth, combined with the results of earlier tax and financial sector reforms, dramatically improved government finances from the 1999 budget deficit level of 3.5% of GDP to a deficit of 0.5% of GDP in 2005. Government revenues grew from 19.8% of GDP in 1999 to 22.6% of GDP in 2001 to 25.7% of GDP in 2005. In 2000, Kazakhstan adopted a new tax code in an effort to consolidate these gains. On November 29, 2003 the Law on Changes to Tax Code was adopted, which reduced the value added tax (from 16% to 15%), the social tax (from 21% to 20%), and the personal income tax (from 30% to 20%). Kazakhstan furthered its reforms by adopting a new land code on June 20, 2003 and a customs code on April 5, 2003.
−	Oil and gas is the leading economic sector. Production of oil and gas condensate in Kazakhstan amounted to 61.9 million tons in 2005, which was 4.3% more than in 2004. Kazakhstan exported 52.4 million tons of oil and gas condensate a year in 2004 and 2005. Natural gas production in Kazakhstan in 2005 amounted to 14.5 billion cubic meters, a 25% increase from 2004. Kazakhstan holds about 4 billion tons of proven recoverable oil reserves and 3 trillion cubic meters of gas. Industry analysts believe that planned expansion of oil production, coupled with the development of new fields, will enable the country to produce as much as 3 million barrels per day by 2015, lifting Kazakhstan into the ranks of the world's top 10 oil-producing nations. Kazakhstan's 2005 oil exports were valued at $17.4 billion, representing over 70% of overall exports. Major oil and gas fields and their recoverable oil reserves are Tengiz (7 billion barrels); Karachaganak (8 billion barrels and 1,350 billion cubic meters of natural gas); and Kashagan (7-9 billion barrels). Starting in 2004, the Government of Kazakhstan increased its take of oil deals by increasing taxation of new oil projects.	+	After its independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, the former German Democratic Republic attacked the country. Its first bombing in Astana killed Borat's mother, Boratlisa (This is also called the ''Tikkistan masker'')
−	Kazakhstan instituted an ambitious pension reform program in 1998. There are 14 saving pension funds, one of which is state controlled. The National Bank oversees and regulates the pension funds. The pension funds' growing demand for quality investment outlets triggered rapid development of the debt securities market. Pension fund capital is being invested almost exclusively in corporate and government bonds, including Government of Kazakhstan Eurobonds. The Kazakhstani banking system is developing rapidly. Its capitalization now exceeds $1 billion. The National Bank has introduced deposit insurance in its campaign to strengthen the banking sector. Several major foreign banks have branches in Kazakhstan, including ABN-AMRO, Citibank, and HSBC.	+	The invasion only lasted for a two days because communism had fallen in Germany and their beloved German fatherland collapsed.
−	====Agriculture====
−	Agriculture accounted for 10.3% of Kazakhstan's GDP in 2005. Grain (Kazakhstan is the seventh-largest producer of wheat in the world) and livestock are the most important agricultural commodities. Agricultural land occupies more than 220 million hectares, about 68% of which consists of pasture and hay land. Chief livestock products are dairy goods, leather, meat, and wool. The country's major crops include wheat, barley, cotton, and rice. Wheat is the leading agricultural commodity in Kazakhstan's export trade. Kazakhstan harvests 14-15 million tons of wheat per year.
−	====Natural Resources====	+	In 2002 Kazakhstan issued a state of emergency when guerrillas loyal to Bill Nye which many knew that he was not a member of ''The Glorious Democratic front of the mighty Kazakhstan Republic'' in 1991 so therefore is a traitor to Kazakhstan.
−	Oil, gas, and mineral exports are key to Kazakhstan's economic success. Since 1993, Kazakhstan’s extractive industries have attracted $30.7 billion in foreign investment, which represents almost 76% of the total foreign direct investment in Kazakhstan for that period. Kazakhstan has significant deposits of coal, iron ore, copper, zinc, uranium, and gold.	+
		+	==People==
		+	The view Of kazakhstanis more as is regular people but actually large monsters premeditated on the domination of peace. This is must to their turbans, because are many kazakstanis the murderers of hat. However, people of Kazakh are generally peaceful if they will not come into the contact with the jews. It is must to China's a population explosions, and through the fear of invasion cheaply by goods of factory production, Prime Minister Nazarbayev in the consultation by the Chamber of Commerce Of Almaty established the quota of the new generation of 200 children year into the woman as soon as woman it reaches time 5 and until natural death at age of 27.; "Woman which does not bear child as horse without pants" noted Nazarbayev, it was which. Kazakhstan must overtake China as nation with largest population in the world in 15 years. Many women of Kazakh are outraged by these by new course and frequently by the desire they were raped by different person.
		+
		+	==Famous Kazakhstanis==
		+	[[Image:Borat_happy_time.jpg|left|thumb|142px|Borat next to prickly penis]]
		+	*[[Borat Sagdiyev]] - He first President. Also the second, third, and fourth president. Guess who's gonna be the fifth? yah momma
		+	*Borat's mother, Asimbala Sagdiyev she was a well known victim in the ''Tikkistan masker of 1991'' (Born 1970,died 1991)
		+	*Nursultan Tuyakbay - He Borat's neighbor and pain in assholes, cannot afford a clock radio, and he has [[iPod|iPod Mini]] (now iPod Nano). Everybody know it for girls!
		+	*[[Borat Sagdiyev]] - He #2 television journalist in Kazakhstan, as well is being Supreme Leader. Known for having very large ''khram''.
		+	*Natalya Sagdiyeva - She #4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.  She also Borat's sister. Nice.
		+	*Bilo Sagdiyev - He Borat's retard brother. Was demon in brain so put in tooth of red hairs woman, but demon get angry, make Bilo a retard. He have retard rage and like to smah, he have small head but strong arms. Has pouch for storing all his porno. In cage must be locked. He have tatoo on his anus to warn of funny retardation, you can make romance on his anus, he remember nothing!
		+	*[[Oksana Sagdiyeva]] - She Borat's wife, she was raped and killed by a bear allowing Borat to make a cheat on her! HI-5!
		+	*Luenell - She Borat's other wife, and has getto booty.
		+	[[File:Horseface.jpg|thumb|Nursultan Nazarbayev has served as the President of Kazakhstan since the Fall of the Soviet Union and the nation's independence in 1991.]]
		+	*Margarita Nakitova - She Borat's mistress.
		+	*Lizaveta Nakitova - She Borat's girlfriend.
		+	*Chalynska Smerdyashchaya - Borat has to pay money for her, but she worth it all. Wowoweewa!
		+	*[[Boltok the Rapist]]- He Borat's father and grandfather.  Naughty Naughty
		+	*[[Betty Bush]] - She famous pornstar
		+	*[[Rakki holkezlmennaded]] - famous porn director, known for his works "naughty nipples 7" and "[[ivan the anal]]"
		+	*[[Donald Trump]] - He famous hair model
		+	*[[Evgeni Nabokov]] - Number 1 goalie in all of Kazakhstan, who plays for the Russian team, cuz Kazakhstan's team sucks.
		+	*[[Azamat Bagatov]] - He #1 producer in all of Kazakhstan, he fat and he have small ''khram''.
		+	*[[Nursultan Nazerbayev]] - President Sagdiyev's Prime Minister, he Muslim and hate international community, he recently announced export of more oils to US and A after Americans sucked Iraq dry.
		+	*[[Urkin the Spammer]] - Number 1 emailer in all Kazakhstan. He send 10 email in 2003.
		+	*Korki Butchek - He number one singer in all of Kazakhtstand, he sing "Bing Bang".
		+	*[http://www.jonnythemonkey.com Jonny the Monkey] - Animal actor and #1 celebrity in Kazakhstan who star in moviefilm "Transibiesky Express" plus many many other pornos.
		+	* [[Bertolt Brecht]] - He famous commie pinko revolutionary Hollywood scriptwriter. He have small ''khram''.
		+	*[[Korki Zambuchek]] He only rival to our Kazakhstan gold olympic plow woman. He also best cleaner of matter from horses anus
		+	*[[Doctor Yamak]] - Minister of Sciences who made an important study on women's tiny brains.
		+	*[[Hannah Montana]] - She #1 cleanest prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.  I make sex explosion in her vazhin once.  Is nice!
		+	*[[Dauren Djusssupov]] - Also know as the "tarzan" from belbulak.
		+	*Dolce & Gabanna - A person, but maybe also a football team because everybody in the street is supporting
		+
		+	==Government==
		+	[[Image:Joe one.jpg|thumb|Soviet Russia enter glorious new era along Irtysh River in Kazakh SSR in 1949.]]Kazakhstan is glorious [[communist]] [[dictatorship]] with strong leader like Stalin who crush his opponents with his huge [[penis|khram]]. If you not vote for him, you be sorry. Premier is [[head of state]]. Premier also is [[commander in chief]] of many glorious armed forces. Premier [[Nursultan Nazarbayev]], who has been in office since Kazakhstan became "independent", purchased a new 7-year term in the 1999 election that [[Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe]] said fell short of international standards. They are traitors and have been execute. Until 1999, leader of government was not chosen by election, but by who could suspend the heaviest weight from his testes-satchel. Communist Party Leader, who serves at pleasure of Premier, chairs Communist Party and serves as Kazakhstan's head of government and can throw Jew 16 feet (and can suspend 9 pounds from his testes-satchel). Even stronger than Premier Nazarbayev is father of American Premier George Walter Bush. His father, Barbara Bush, (who's name means "to eat the hair around the testes sachel") have very large and strong khram.
		+	There are three deputy party leaders and 16 prostitutes in Cabinet, seven of which were ranked in top 10 prostitutes in all of Almaty by the Almaty Chamber of Commerce. Niiiiiiice. Great Success! [[Borat]] became president of Kazakhstan on June 9th, 1991 just after the Tikkistan masker of 1991 ...
		+
		+	==Republic of Bill Nye age==
		+	In 2002, President [[Borat]] issued a state of emergency when guerillas loyal to [[Bill Nye]], a longtime political enemy of Borat,and a traitor to Kazakhstan.  invaded the capitol. A year-long war began, and the situation only got worse. The [[Monsanto]] corporation declared their support of Bill Nye's struggle, and gave him access to several new chemical weapons. On August 18th, 2003, Nye's forces took the capitol city, and Nye, along with several disillusioned officials, forced Borat to sign a treaty declaring the country the [[Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy]]. It appeared Kazakhstan was no more, until forces led by [[President Bush]] attempted to retake the country. However, help from newfound ally [[Paris Hilton]] destroyed Bush's army. Meanwhile, Borat was allowed to leave the country on the condition he wouldn't return. Borat remains in political exile in the United States. The Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy has nearly become a world power, but disagreements with the United States have hindered many negotiations.
		+
		+	==Communications and Transport==
		+
		+	Short distance communication is carried out through talking, whispering, shouting and even hand movements. Long distance communication is carried out by messenger [[monkeys]], who ride skateboards across desert with talking, whispering, shouting and even hand movements contained in a bottle for the receiver. Transport is such a major problem in Kazakhstan that entire folk songs have been written about it to encourage improvement.  Kazakh citizens hope that someday this issue will be resolved, and speak of this day with hopes for a "big party".  Unfortunately, most experts agree that transport issue will not be resolved for many years to come, especially with the ever-present danger of Jews. Wa wa wee wa!
		+
		+	Kazakhstan is proud to be one of least polluting nations in europe. Most Kazakhs cannot afford Lada station wagon so they ride wife through desert, though the ones that do have enough monies to purchase shitty Russian automobile still prefer to ride wives. A regular and well adjusted wife does not emit greenhouse gases like the jew (who is main cause of global warming) therefore making this models a green option for the environment. Annotations of this has been directed to the nations who have signed the 1988 Kyoto Protocol to reduce emissions by 2010. Wife only needs a small amount of food and water, although some wifes are disobedient and need to kick them for fast movement.
		+
		+	A very popular show in Kazakhstan is "pimp my wife" with over 43 viewers per show. Is nice!!
		+
		+	==National sports and Hobbies==
		+	In addition to Shurik, Kokpar, Gypsy Stoning, Catch-A-Bride, and the Running of the [[Jew]], other favorite sports include wrestling, arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, boxing, tug of war, jousting, underwater wrestling and medieval war, not to mention table tennis, and archery. They are also fond of making small teddies and capturing gypsy tears, to protect from the Jews, a trait shared by [[Borat]], [[Mr T]], [[Arnold Schwarzenegger]], [[George Bush]], [[Les Dennis]] and [[Sooty]]. Favorite music genre of [[disco]] dance make by [[Corky Bucek]]: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUrb8RAGZH0&NR=1 Here is example].
		+
		+	Another increasingly popular sport is the "seed and spit" competitions. the game consists on eating seeds on the street and see who can spit more... and that´s all. Nice. Nooo!!
		+
		+	==National symbols of pride==
		+	*Eagle - the same as Harley Davidson, but not so cool... and yellow. She might be sick. Because eating yellow rabbits from the desert. They might also be sick. Sickly cute.
		+	*Toyota Prado - even is though to be Japanese, people in the rural, urban and radioactive areas worship this car. They make reverence when they see this normally rare SUV (Super Ultra Vulgar).
		+	*Dolce & Gabanna.
		+	*Matthius Marcinkowski, the Duke of Kazakhstan.
		+	*"Bobolink"- The first monkey into space, GREATEST KAZAKH EVER.
		+
		+	==Glorious Corporations of Kazkhstan==
		+	*WestBurger - the same as McDonalds, but the "m" is backwards like a "w".
		+	*King Burger - the same as Burger King, but not so tasty.
		+	*Pinochios Coffee - the same as Starbucks coffee, but less corporative.
		+	*Mall-mart - A lot cheaper and more foreigners than American Wal-marts.
		+	*Dadane's- 1950's classic American style diners. No Dogs, Jews or Gypsies allowed, women must be occupied with a male, and "chocolates" colored entrance in the back.
	==History==		==History==
−	Nomadic tribes have been living in the region that is now Kazakhstan since the first century BC, although the land has been inhabited at least as far back as the Stone Age. From the fourth century AD through the beginning of the 13th century, the territory of Kazakhstan was ruled by a series of nomadic nations. Following the Mongolian invasion in the early 13th century, administrative districts were established under the Mongol Empire, which eventually became the territories of the Kazakh Khanate. The major medieval cities of Taraz and Turkestan were founded along the northern route of the Great Silk Road during this period.	+	Before Russians came - We farked our vegetables.
		+
		+	When Russians came - We farked our farm animals
		+
		+	When Russia went Communist - We farked our children.
		+
		+	When Russia went away - We farked our sisters.
		+
		+	When Borat was elected President - We farked vegetables, our farm animals, our children, our sisters and will graham.
−	Traditional nomadic life on the vast steppe and semi-desert lands was characterized by a constant search for new pasture to support the livestock-based economy. The Kazakhs emerged from a mixture of tribes living in the region in about the 15th century and by the middle of the 16th century had developed a common language, culture, and economy. In the early 1600s, the Kazakh Khanate separated into the Great, Middle and Little (or Small) Hordes--confederations based on extended family networks. Political disunion, competition among the hordes, and a lack of an internal market weakened the Kazakh Khanate. The beginning of the 18th century marked the zenith of the Kazakh Khanate. The following 150 years saw the gradual colonization of the Kazakh-controlled territories by tsarist Russia.	+	==Things to do and see==
−	The process of colonization was a combination of voluntary integration into the Russian Empire and outright seizure. The Little Horde and part of the Middle Horde signed treaties of protection with Russia in the 1730s and 1740s. Major parts of the northeast and central Kazakh territories were incorporated into the Russian Empire by 1840. With the Russian seizure of territories belonging to the Senior Horde in the 1860s, the tsars effectively ruled over most of the territory belonging to what is now the Republic of Kazakhstan.	+	*Melvin the redemeer: Good thing to see while in Kasakhstan is statue of Melvin the redemeer, in honour of melvin gibbons movie which reveals true nature of jews (plotting and sneaky).
−	The Russian Empire introduced a system of administration and built military garrisons in its effort to establish a presence in Central Asia in the so-called "Great Game" between it and Great Britain. Russian efforts to impose its system aroused the resentment of the [[Kazakh people]], and by the 1860s, most Kazakhs resisted Russia's annexation largely because of the disruption it wrought upon the traditional nomadic lifestyle and livestock-based economy. The Kazakh national movement, which began in the late 1800s, sought to preserve the Kazakh language and identity. There were uprisings against colonial rule during the final years of tsarist Russia, with the most serious occurring in 1916. The destruction of the nomadic life, prior to and during the Communist period, created a Kazakh diaspora in neighboring countries, especially western China. Since independence in 1991, the government has encouraged the return of ethnic Kazakhs by offering subsidies for returnees.	+	*Almaty Jew Town: A visit to Almaty Jew Town is worth visit as you are now aloud to poke jews in cage and through tomatoes at them from high tower. Children can wait in creche where they can play with many toys from playdough from lego to ak47.
−	Although there was a brief period of autonomy during the tumultuous period following the collapse of the Russian Empire, the Kazakhs eventually succumbed to Soviet rule. In 1920, the area of present-day Kazakhstan became an autonomous republic within Russia and, in 1936, a Soviet republic.	+	*Semipalatinsk: it's worth to see this natural beauty created by humans. "The most atomic bombed place all over the earth". One of those unforgettable places on earth. Fun for kids, adults and atomic monsters. You would not forget, your kids would not forget, the kids of your kids would not forget and the kids of the kids of your kids would not forget the radiation. Radiation its cool!! In the souvenir shop near the control point "Чарлие", you can get three-eyed fish. A really cool pet.
−	Soviet repression of the traditional elites, along with forced collectivization in late 1920s-1930s, brought about mass hunger and led to unrest. Soviet rule, however, took hold, and a communist apparatus steadily worked to fully integrate Kazakhstan into the Soviet system. Kazakhstan experienced population inflows of thousands exiled from other parts of the Soviet Union during the 1930s and later became home for hundreds of thousands evacuated from the Second World War battlefields. The Kazakh Soviet Socialist Republic (SSR) contributed five national divisions to the Soviet Union's World War II effort.	+	==Knowledge of Location==
−	The period of the Second World War marked an increase in industrialization and increased mineral extraction in support of the war effort. At the time of Soviet leader Josif Stalin's death, however, Kazakhstan still had an overwhelmingly agricultural-based economy. In 1953, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev initiated the ambitious "Virgin Lands" program to turn the traditional pasturelands of Kazakhstan into a major grain-producing region for the Soviet Union. The Virgin Lands policy, along with later modernizations under Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev, sped up the development of the agricultural sector, which to this day remains the source of livelihood for a large percentage of Kazakhstan's population.	+	In 2004, a poll was given by CNN asking average Americans if they knew where Kazahkstan was. When asked, a startling 89.7% of U.S. citizens (and one Chinese tourist) said, "Isn't that where [[Osama bin Laden]] is?". Another 3% licked their lips seductively and replied that they didn't know, but would be happy to take the CNN pollster back to their place and help them look for it.
−	Growing tensions within Soviet society led to a demand for political and economic reforms, which came to a head in the 1980s. In December 1986, mass demonstrations by young ethnic Kazakhs took place in Almaty to protest the methods of the communist system. Soviet troops suppressed the unrest, and dozens of demonstrators were jailed. In the waning days of Soviet rule, discontent continued to grow and find expression under Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev's policy of glasnost. Caught up in the groundswell of Soviet republics seeking greater autonomy, Kazakhstan declared its sovereignty as a republic within the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (U.S.S.R.) in October 1990. Following the August 1991 abortive coup attempt in Moscow and the subsequent dissolution of the Soviet Union, Kazakhstan declared independence on December 16, 1991.	+	In 2009, Kazakhstan under president Borat declared war on [[Israel]]. He assembled the full force of the nation's catapult regiments, but he called off the nuclear missile attack, since he seen [[Natalie Portman]] for the first time. She's HOT. Is Nice. I vant her for me wife. I got other wifes. She a jew though. is funny. Borat decided to create a covert spy mission to Hollywood to perform the traditional Kazakh act of making up with enemies: bride capture.
−	The years following independence have been marked by significant reforms to the Soviet command-economy and political monopoly on power. Under Nursultan Nazarbayev, who initially came to power in 1989 as the head of the Kazakh Communist Party and was eventually elected President in 1991, Kazakhstan has made significant progress toward developing a market economy, for which it was recognized by the United States in 2002. The country has enjoyed significant economic growth since 2000, partly due to its large oil, gas, and mineral reserves.	+	[[Category:Stan]]
−	{{License|license = This work is in the [[public domain]] in the United States because it is a work of the United States Federal Government under the terms of Title 17, Chapter 1, Section 105 of the US Code.| source = [http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/5487.htm]}}	+	{{FormerUSSR}}
		+	{{Turkic States}}
		+	{{Asia}}
		+	{{World Countries}}
−	[[Category:Asian Countries]]	+	[[da:Kasakhstan]]
−	[[Category:Former Soviet Countries]]	+	[[de:Kasachstan]]
		+	[[es:Kazajstán]]
		+	[[fi:Kazakstan]]
		+	[[fr:Kazakhstan]]
		+	[[it:Kazakistan]]
		+	[[ko:카자흐스탄]]
		+	[[nl:Kazachstan]]
		+	[[no:Kasakhstan]]
		+	[[uk:Казахстан]]
		+	[[pl:Kazachstan]]
		+	[[pt:Cazaquistão]]
		+	[[ru:Казахстан]]
		+	[[zh:哈萨克]]
		+	[[zh-tw:哈薩克]]

---

Revision as of 18:50, May 26, 2011

Template:Infobox Country

<choose><option weight=4></option> <option weight=1>“Kazakhstan - mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk off s.”

~ {{{2}}} </option>

<option weight=1>“Spending my last holiday there, I had a lot of sexytime. I like!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Kazakhstan</option>

<option weight=1>“They tell me that I have just enough.”

~ Borat on what the Ministry of the Interior said about the amount of anti-semitism, nudity, racism, and other controversial elements in his movie</option>

<option weight=1>“Kazakhstan - mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk off s.”

~ {{{2}}} </option>

<option weight=1>“Kazakhstan mother country of damned bastards and amateur jerk offs”

~ {{{2}}} </option>

<option weight=1>“Generic Borat quote!”

~ Assholes on what tickles their pickles</option>

</choose>

The Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls.

Country At A Glance

Template:Wikipedia Kazakhstan glorious country in middle of Asia. It pecked out first of all nations from world egg by great hawk Uhtar. Shortly after this, world egg was stolen by nasty Jew Mongoose. Kazakhstan reknowned for much production of fine pubis and potassium.

National Anthem

Accepted national anthem Kazakhstan in following for independences 1991. Rumors that President Borat Sagdiyev extended wrote lyric poetry himself and tuning and he often shag his sister when sing it he.

Initially Kazakh is the following:

Казахстан, величайшая страна мира,

Все другие страны бегают, как маленькие девочками,

Казахстан - единственный подлинный экспортер калия

Качество калия в других странах многим хуже

Казахстан, дом плавательного бассейна Тинчиен,

В длину - 30 метров, а в ширину - 6,

С поразительной системой фильтрации,

Которая извлекает 80 процентов людского твердого отхода.

Казахстан, Казахстан, это очень славное место,

От равнин Тарашек до Северной границы еврейского городка

Казахстан, друг всех исключая Узбекистан.

Соединенные Штаты сосут у Казахстана

Казахов в Казахстане больше чем геев в США

А это довольно не мало, если учитывать что

Девяносто девять с половиной процентов населения

Соединенных штатов - гомосексуалисты

Казахстан, Казахстан, это очень славное место,

От равнин Тарашек до Северной границы еврейского городка

Сам Джордж Буш ехал в Астану для того, чтобы отсосать

Могущественный пенис нашего президента

The official English translation endorsed by President Sagdiyev is as follows:

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.

All other countries are run by little girls.

Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.

Other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool,

Its length thirty metre and width six metre.

Filtration system a marvel to behold.

It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place,

From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.

Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan.

They very nosey people with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan industry best in the world.

We invented toffee and trouser belt.

Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.

Except of course for Turkmenistan’s

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you very nice place.

From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.

Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader.

From junction with the testes to tip of its face!

And the worst English translation we can get (as told by Babelfish):

Kazakhstan, the large country in the world,

All other countries run by small girls,

Kazakhstan, one exporter of potassium,

All other countries have potassium inferior.

Kazakhstan, the house of swimming hole Of Tinshein,

It lengths 30 meter also of the widths of 6 meters,

The system of filter miracle, it is which necessary to contemplate,

It extracts 80 percent of human solid withdrawal.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan, you are very glorious place,

From the plains of Tarashek to the northern fence of the town of Jews,

Kazakhstan, the friend of all excludes Uzbekistan. They push their noses in our matter and have a bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan the industry of industry s the better in the world,

We invented toffe and your belt of trousers,

Prostitutes Kazakhstan the cleanest in Central Asia,

with exception of those being into Turkmenistan.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you are very glorious place,

From the plains of Tarashek to the northern fence of the town of Jews,

Arrive at Astana and you will hold the powerful penis of our president

from the testes to its prompt.

Geography

Kazakhstan is located near China (country where everything produced by the minor of people 10)is also bordered by Tajikstan ,Kyrgyzstan and assholes Uzbekistan and Putinstan (Katsapostan). This is the country fixed by the earth without the rivers, the flows, the lakes, or the puddles. The absence of water in the country is there complete. Their of inhabitant live by way to give from the moisture of others. The problem of the environment of is many kazakh's toxic and nuclear waste which was disseminated over the entire country by testing weapon's of mass destruction into 1950's by Kremlin. This presents risk as dogs which they eat withdrawal will be large and rabid and wreak of havoc on the industry of bone. Kazakhstan geography is very renowned! It in the position of shit is actual.

Agriculture

When Kazakhstan it was the part of the Soviet Union, most evil Of Uzbeks and Jews arrived at Kazakhstan and polluted and they destroyed the large number of earth of agriculture. Kazakhstan now has much thanks of the problems of environment to Uzbeks and to Jews; therefore Kazkhstan now imports for a series of food from the US and A. But we obtain even from Uzbeks, we sneak across to Uzbekistan on the night, and piss in their grain supply!

Kazakhstan on the rescuing from "agricultural slump"; our harvests near Caspian Sea grew to the enormous size. Many harvests to grow size than bigger evem than the bag of money which entire Jews steals in the year and those Jews is very greedy.

History

Kazakhstan was the first ever place created on the Earth by mighty great and glorious hawk lord uthar in the year 40000 B.J.(before jew). Uthar ruled Kazakhstan for 40000 great and glorious years filled with many prostitutes and potassium. In order to make his great and glorious super Nice people happy he created women who became the mens sex slaves. then he created jews and gypsies so that Kazakhs would have something to use for protection (gypsies tears) and something to hunt (Jews) eventually the jews killed great hawk lord with they're super-lame-sucky-god-who-didn't-even-kill-or-decimate-any-body jesus. the jews were banished from Kazakhstan and went north to urban dystopia jew town which is separated by barbed wire, mines and holy water. all of this was revealed by the Kazakh government who wouldn't lie to anyone- except jews, women and gypsies

During the 17th century Kazakhs blew the fark out of the Oirats, a federation of western Mongol tribes, among which the Dzungars were very aggressive.

In the 19th century, the Russian Empire began to expand and ruled over most of the territory belonging to what is now the Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan.

After imperialism ended in Russia (1914), The Soviet Union was created and the Communists promised that the Kazakh people will get free: Education, health care, 2Gb MP3's, porn, and ice cream on Mondays. So they joined the USSR and became a Soviet Socialist Republic.

But way before all that was promised came to the Kazakh people it was too late and the Germans where invading Stalingrad and all the stuff that was promised for the Kazakh people where "destroyed and made into weapons"-Commissar Takea Abay (All but the porn which during the war was given to Stalin to make him feel good when days where gray.)

During the Cold War almost all of Kazakhstan was a Soviet Missile test site. This explains why the largest city of Kazakhstan, Almaty, vanished from the face of the earth.

In the 1980's Uzbekistan joined the Soviet Union as well but there were mostly Jews and prostitutes. Kazakhstan was very jealous of Uzbekistan prostitutes and decided to make a movement called The Glorious Democratic front of the mighty Kazakhstan Republic which was a very anti-communist and racist movement and played a mayor roll in the 1991 Soviet coup that made the collapse of the Soviet Union.

After its independence from the Soviet Union in 1991, the former German Democratic Republic attacked the country. Its first bombing in Astana killed Borat's mother, Boratlisa (This is also called the Tikkistan masker)

The invasion only lasted for a two days because communism had fallen in Germany and their beloved German fatherland collapsed.

In 2002 Kazakhstan issued a state of emergency when guerrillas loyal to Bill Nye which many knew that he was not a member of The Glorious Democratic front of the mighty Kazakhstan Republic in 1991 so therefore is a traitor to Kazakhstan.

People

The view Of kazakhstanis more as is regular people but actually large monsters premeditated on the domination of peace. This is must to their turbans, because are many kazakstanis the murderers of hat. However, people of Kazakh are generally peaceful if they will not come into the contact with the jews. It is must to China's a population explosions, and through the fear of invasion cheaply by goods of factory production, Prime Minister Nazarbayev in the consultation by the Chamber of Commerce Of Almaty established the quota of the new generation of 200 children year into the woman as soon as woman it reaches time 5 and until natural death at age of 27.; "Woman which does not bear child as horse without pants" noted Nazarbayev, it was which. Kazakhstan must overtake China as nation with largest population in the world in 15 years. Many women of Kazakh are outraged by these by new course and frequently by the desire they were raped by different person.

Famous Kazakhstanis

• Borat Sagdiyev - He first President. Also the second, third, and fourth president. Guess who's gonna be the fifth? yah momma
• Borat's mother, Asimbala Sagdiyev she was a well known victim in the Tikkistan masker of 1991 (Born 1970,died 1991)
• Nursultan Tuyakbay - He Borat's neighbor and pain in assholes, cannot afford a clock radio, and he has iPod Mini (now iPod Nano). Everybody know it for girls!
• Borat Sagdiyev - He #2 television journalist in Kazakhstan, as well is being Supreme Leader. Known for having very large khram.
• Natalya Sagdiyeva - She #4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. She also Borat's sister. Nice.
• Bilo Sagdiyev - He Borat's retard brother. Was demon in brain so put in tooth of red hairs woman, but demon get angry, make Bilo a retard. He have retard rage and like to smah, he have small head but strong arms. Has pouch for storing all his porno. In cage must be locked. He have tatoo on his anus to warn of funny retardation, you can make romance on his anus, he remember nothing!
• Oksana Sagdiyeva - She Borat's wife, she was raped and killed by a bear allowing Borat to make a cheat on her! HI-5!
• Luenell - She Borat's other wife, and has getto booty.

• Margarita Nakitova - She Borat's mistress.
• Lizaveta Nakitova - She Borat's girlfriend.
• Chalynska Smerdyashchaya - Borat has to pay money for her, but she worth it all. Wowoweewa!
• Boltok the Rapist- He Borat's father and grandfather. Naughty Naughty
• Betty Bush - She famous pornstar
• Rakki holkezlmennaded - famous porn director, known for his works "naughty nipples 7" and "ivan the anal"
• Donald Trump - He famous hair model
• Evgeni Nabokov - Number 1 goalie in all of Kazakhstan, who plays for the Russian team, cuz Kazakhstan's team sucks.
• Azamat Bagatov - He #1 producer in all of Kazakhstan, he fat and he have small khram.
• Nursultan Nazerbayev - President Sagdiyev's Prime Minister, he Muslim and hate international community, he recently announced export of more oils to US and A after Americans sucked Iraq dry.
• Urkin the Spammer - Number 1 emailer in all Kazakhstan. He send 10 email in 2003.
• Korki Butchek - He number one singer in all of Kazakhtstand, he sing "Bing Bang".
• Jonny the Monkey - Animal actor and #1 celebrity in Kazakhstan who star in moviefilm "Transibiesky Express" plus many many other pornos.
• Bertolt Brecht - He famous commie pinko revolutionary Hollywood scriptwriter. He have small khram.
• Korki Zambuchek He only rival to our Kazakhstan gold olympic plow woman. He also best cleaner of matter from horses anus
• Doctor Yamak - Minister of Sciences who made an important study on women's tiny brains.
• Hannah Montana - She #1 cleanest prostitute in all of Kazakhstan. I make sex explosion in her vazhin once. Is nice!
• Dauren Djusssupov - Also know as the "tarzan" from belbulak.
• Dolce & Gabanna - A person, but maybe also a football team because everybody in the street is supporting

Government

Kazakhstan is glorious communist dictatorship with strong leader like Stalin who crush his opponents with his huge khram. If you not vote for him, you be sorry. Premier is head of state. Premier also is commander in chief of many glorious armed forces. Premier Nursultan Nazarbayev, who has been in office since Kazakhstan became "independent", purchased a new 7-year term in the 1999 election that Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe said fell short of international standards. They are traitors and have been execute. Until 1999, leader of government was not chosen by election, but by who could suspend the heaviest weight from his testes-satchel. Communist Party Leader, who serves at pleasure of Premier, chairs Communist Party and serves as Kazakhstan's head of government and can throw Jew 16 feet (and can suspend 9 pounds from his testes-satchel). Even stronger than Premier Nazarbayev is father of American Premier George Walter Bush. His father, Barbara Bush, (who's name means "to eat the hair around the testes sachel") have very large and strong khram.

There are three deputy party leaders and 16 prostitutes in Cabinet, seven of which were ranked in top 10 prostitutes in all of Almaty by the Almaty Chamber of Commerce. Niiiiiiice. Great Success! Borat became president of Kazakhstan on June 9th, 1991 just after the Tikkistan masker of 1991 ...

Republic of Bill Nye age

In 2002, President Borat issued a state of emergency when guerillas loyal to Bill Nye, a longtime political enemy of Borat,and a traitor to Kazakhstan. invaded the capitol. A year-long war began, and the situation only got worse. The Monsanto corporation declared their support of Bill Nye's struggle, and gave him access to several new chemical weapons. On August 18th, 2003, Nye's forces took the capitol city, and Nye, along with several disillusioned officials, forced Borat to sign a treaty declaring the country the Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy. It appeared Kazakhstan was no more, until forces led by President Bush attempted to retake the country. However, help from newfound ally Paris Hilton destroyed Bush's army. Meanwhile, Borat was allowed to leave the country on the condition he wouldn't return. Borat remains in political exile in the United States. The Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy has nearly become a world power, but disagreements with the United States have hindered many negotiations.

Communications and Transport

Short distance communication is carried out through talking, whispering, shouting and even hand movements. Long distance communication is carried out by messenger monkeys, who ride skateboards across desert with talking, whispering, shouting and even hand movements contained in a bottle for the receiver. Transport is such a major problem in Kazakhstan that entire folk songs have been written about it to encourage improvement. Kazakh citizens hope that someday this issue will be resolved, and speak of this day with hopes for a "big party". Unfortunately, most experts agree that transport issue will not be resolved for many years to come, especially with the ever-present danger of Jews. Wa wa wee wa!

Kazakhstan is proud to be one of least polluting nations in europe. Most Kazakhs cannot afford Lada station wagon so they ride wife through desert, though the ones that do have enough monies to purchase shitty Russian automobile still prefer to ride wives. A regular and well adjusted wife does not emit greenhouse gases like the jew (who is main cause of global warming) therefore making this models a green option for the environment. Annotations of this has been directed to the nations who have signed the 1988 Kyoto Protocol to reduce emissions by 2010. Wife only needs a small amount of food and water, although some wifes are disobedient and need to kick them for fast movement.

A very popular show in Kazakhstan is "pimp my wife" with over 43 viewers per show. Is nice!!

National sports and Hobbies

In addition to Shurik, Kokpar, Gypsy Stoning, Catch-A-Bride, and the Running of the Jew, other favorite sports include wrestling, arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, boxing, tug of war, jousting, underwater wrestling and medieval war, not to mention table tennis, and archery. They are also fond of making small teddies and capturing gypsy tears, to protect from the Jews, a trait shared by Borat, Mr T, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Bush, Les Dennis and Sooty. Favorite music genre of disco dance make by Corky Bucek: Here is example.

Another increasingly popular sport is the "seed and spit" competitions. the game consists on eating seeds on the street and see who can spit more... and that´s all. Nice. Nooo!!

National symbols of pride

• Eagle - the same as Harley Davidson, but not so cool... and yellow. She might be sick. Because eating yellow rabbits from the desert. They might also be sick. Sickly cute.
• Toyota Prado - even is though to be Japanese, people in the rural, urban and radioactive areas worship this car. They make reverence when they see this normally rare SUV (Super Ultra Vulgar).
• Dolce & Gabanna.
• Matthius Marcinkowski, the Duke of Kazakhstan.
• "Bobolink"- The first monkey into space, GREATEST KAZAKH EVER.

Glorious Corporations of Kazkhstan

• WestBurger - the same as McDonalds, but the "m" is backwards like a "w".
• King Burger - the same as Burger King, but not so tasty.
• Pinochios Coffee - the same as Starbucks coffee, but less corporative.
• Mall-mart - A lot cheaper and more foreigners than American Wal-marts.
• Dadane's- 1950's classic American style diners. No Dogs, Jews or Gypsies allowed, women must be occupied with a male, and "chocolates" colored entrance in the back.

History

Before Russians came - We farked our vegetables.

When Russians came - We farked our farm animals

When Russia went Communist - We farked our children.

When Russia went away - We farked our sisters.

When Borat was elected President - We farked vegetables, our farm animals, our children, our sisters and will graham.

Things to do and see

• Melvin the redemeer: Good thing to see while in Kasakhstan is statue of Melvin the redemeer, in honour of melvin gibbons movie which reveals true nature of jews (plotting and sneaky).

• Almaty Jew Town: A visit to Almaty Jew Town is worth visit as you are now aloud to poke jews in cage and through tomatoes at them from high tower. Children can wait in creche where they can play with many toys from playdough from lego to ak47.

• Semipalatinsk: it's worth to see this natural beauty created by humans. "The most atomic bombed place all over the earth". One of those unforgettable places on earth. Fun for kids, adults and atomic monsters. You would not forget, your kids would not forget, the kids of your kids would not forget and the kids of the kids of your kids would not forget the radiation. Radiation its cool!! In the souvenir shop near the control point "Чарлие", you can get three-eyed fish. A really cool pet.

Knowledge of Location

In 2004, a poll was given by CNN asking average Americans if they knew where Kazahkstan was. When asked, a startling 89.7% of U.S. citizens (and one Chinese tourist) said, "Isn't that where Osama bin Laden is?". Another 3% licked their lips seductively and replied that they didn't know, but would be happy to take the CNN pollster back to their place and help them look for it.

In 2009, Kazakhstan under president Borat declared war on Israel. He assembled the full force of the nation's catapult regiments, but he called off the nuclear missile attack, since he seen Natalie Portman for the first time. She's HOT. Is Nice. I vant her for me wife. I got other wifes. She a jew though. is funny. Borat decided to create a covert spy mission to Hollywood to perform the traditional Kazakh act of making up with enemies: bride capture.Template:FormerUSSR Template:Turkic States Template:Asia Template:World Countries

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