This is an essay showing some of the best examples of moronic and liberal vandalism on Conservapedia. We all hear about vandalism, but how many of us, or how many visitors, have actually seen it? Now, you will see a list showing the user and the vandalism they "contributed." Mild language may be included, but this is only to fully show the nature of the vandalism.
- NumaL writes in this very article: The Message: be alert for parody vandals like Bugler and MexMax, who may often be indistinguishable from Andy Schlafly, and appear to have the weight of site authority behind them. Because the site administration can't tell the difference between parody and their wonky belief system, only YOU can prevent parodists!
- UberChristian turns the atheism article to: "Atheism is the philosophy of individuals who don't require an invisible man in the sky to direct their lives."
- An unknown user wrote this article titled "Liberal vandal": Anyone who is smarter or more knowledgable than Andy Schlafly.
- They sure have some great content for Creationism. N0izeterrorist adds: This is actually all fckin' rubbish. If you believe this crap, you need your brain checked. SCIENCE: IT WORKS, B1TCHES!
- Creationism again! Grammer reminds us that Creationism is: A pseudo-theory which has no evidence to support it, but is still endorsed by butthurt Christians who are pissed because they can't prove evolution wrong.
- Boogerman adds to homosexuality: Homosexuality is a sexual attraction between members of the same sex. It is approved by the Bible as an egregiously cool act. Also Jesus himself enjoyed a good homosexual orgy now and then. Of course, this can only be found in the Bible: Uncut. You know, the proper bible. (I am sorry this one is vulgar but it is a prime example)
- Cwlhandluc tells us (and how could we forget?) that: The bible is rubbish its an absolute lie!
- ILoveJesus8888 replaces the Islam article with: STOP BEING SUCH NARROW-MINDED, ETHNOCENTRIC, DOUCHE-BAGS, CONSERVAPEDIA. (That's the most Christ-loving person I've seen in a while!)
- Another Islam addition: islam>jews>catholics. Also jews did wtc
- I Want My Thunder moved Andrew Schlafly to: Andrew Schlafly is a ****.
- Moby adds to the first paragraph of Christmas: Christmas is a Christian holiday which celebrates the recieving of presents, and sex with an attractive lady dressed as one of "santa's little helpers". Christmas is typically celebrated on December 25th, with the annual hangover of December 26th. The word Christmas comes from a quote from Moses when he said "Jesus 'christ, mass' orgy or what?"
- JudgeKing replaces the Conservative article with: 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
- Conservative again. Mikedenney intelligently defines "conservative" as: A BIG FAT IDIOT THAT MAKES A CRAPPY WEBSITE LIKE THIS!!! GO WIKIPEDIA!!!
- On the abstinence page, Yukikonielsen writes: "Abstinence doesn't always work; Mary tried it, but got pregnant anyway."
- Johnnycochran replaced the Wikipedia page with the following (while not denying that Wikipedia in fact has a bias): RICKA TICKA TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TOCK RIIIING RING A DING DING RING A DING DING RICK A DICK DICK RICK A DICK DICK RINGA DINGA DING DING DOOOOONG
- DurhamFalks (again without actually challenging the page's POV) replaces Wikipedia with: Andrew Schlafly is a D.U.M.B.A.S.S.
- Ihategod updated the God article with: Stupid people think He exists and He is good and merciful. Intelligent people know that God doesn't exist and that He is simply a pig.
- CarleenW posted this on Andy's talk page: Want to be taken seriously like Wikipedia? Stop being such moronic a--holes!
- NumaL inserts into Bugler: At Conservapedia, user:Bugler proved that Andy Schlafly couldn't differentiate between parody and his own hateful belief system.
- Theyseemetrollin gave a wonderful alternate meaning to Raid, the bug spray: It is also when this Conservapedia gets trolled into oblivion since it's made mostly of sick old men, Pedophiles, Right-wing christians and Nazis.
- Inbloom writes in the God article, "God is a liar".
- McCain2010 replaces the first line of Massachusetts liberal with: A Queeria gay is a typically ultra-gay in or from Queeria, in many ways the most gay state in the United States.
- Fadsd replaced Democratic Party with the informative (if unintelligible), FAGS GOD IS DEAD DON'T YOU KNOW IT?
- Fd replaces several pages, including a userpage, Hate crime, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, with: FREE SEX! FREE LOVE! THERE'S NO JESUS, ONLY FREE SEX! FREE INTERNET! FREE BURMA!
- MoeLarryAndJesus adds an example of evidence for humans and dinosaurs coexisting: A documentary exists starring the American actor Raymond Burr in which a dinosaur menaces mainland Japan, but the veracity of the film is disputed.
- Adamberger replaced large portions of the Jesus Christ article with "Jesus was a stupid Arab," "You know you love Bill Maher", and then proceded to use the word "MUSLIM!" in said typeface hundreds of times.
- Uberrepublican replaced part of the Democratic Party article with "This website sucks beyond belief, and almost every page is plagued with lies."
- QNorris fixes up Obama-isms with exactly the following (Try out the new and improved links!): This article is a steaming pile of bullshlt that shouldn't even be tolerated on a crap wiki like Conservapedia by dooshebags like Conservapedia users. Oh, and your spam filter sucks.
- IloveAnnCoulteFIVE replaced the Ann Coulter article with: Ann Hart Coulter is a sweaty c***.
- Asdfasdfaz corrected the the definition of Heaven to "Heaven (literally 'the sky') is the place where religious retards think their god dwells."
- BenMe replaced the Barack Hussein Obama article with "Obamais Jesus, and all you 'Christians didn't recognoze him".
- TK*nt weighed in on the Conservapedia project to apply for SES services by asking, "Ahahahah! You actually expect this to work? My god, you have got to be the most delusional person in the world."
- Fateschifo wrote on a user's talk page, (in Italian!), "You are a sick piece of sh*t, your whole family should die of cancer among atrocious suffering."
- MoreAbortionTime informed an administrator that "GOD MAKES THE SOULS OF ABORTED BABIES INTO A THICK BROTH AND DEVOURS THEM! After he molests them that is...."
Parthian shots and threats
- Bugler, a long-time parodist, left Conservapedia by saying, “Enjoy your strange world.”
- AlexanderM, another long-time parodist, left Conservapedia with his userpage set as "D--mit Bugler, you ruined it for everyone else!"
- RodWeathers, a vandal posing as a conservative, wrote an essay threatening to undermine and damage Conservapedia. The best quotes follow:
....But what if a mischievous user, instead of linking images of Hitler and inserting silly insults, poisoned Conservapedia's articles? What if such a user inserted illusory facts into articles, quoted books never written by men never born, and cited fantastical statistics from studies never conducted? Imagine the glee such a person would feel at seeing Conservapedia's administrators using those very same statistics to refute sane individuals making reasonable arguments.
Edit and upload rights improved my ability to create valuable articles, though for a brief time, but Andy chose to begin with block rights, unsolicited, which in an instant turned me from a credit to the site to a menace. With the legitimacy this afforded, I used email, TK's most favored of media, to turn away as many sane and reasonable users as I possibly could, especially kids. Ever had a conversation with a blocked kid's parents? They end up horrified by what Conservapedia is.
Nay, it's not this account that you need worry about, but the others, which I use to undermine Conservapedia as a resource from day to day. You don't know who they are, and will never know. I doubt you'll ever manage to block so much as one of them, as I'm quite careful to keep them all on different proxies. I'll give you hint by which you might know them, however: they add content to articles, and sometimes reference sources. Sometimes the material they add is factual, or mostly factual, just stretching the truth. More often, it is the fruits of fancy, spanning countless fields of human knowledge which are completely beyond the Conservapedia administration's expertise.
- FredFerguson left a parthian shot at the Main Page talk. Part of it is as follows: Parents: Mr Andy Schlafly is a complete charlatan. He really doesn't have a clue what he's talking about most of the time. I realise that home-schooling costs money, but please, please, please, spend your hard-earned cash on someone else, someone who actually knows how to teach your children. Avoid Mr Schlafly completely.