Changes

| style="padding:15px;" |Activating Event '''A''' + Belief '''B''' ------> Emotional Consequence '''C'''

| style="padding:15px;" |Activating Event '''A''' + Belief '''B''' ------> Emotional Consequence '''C'''

|}

|}

'''The ABC Theory of Emotion''' represents a widely-accepted model of how one's feelings and behavioral patterns are created. It asserts that the emotions we experience such as, for example,  frustration or anxiety, and resulting [[behavior]], do not come directly from the events in our lives, but from the interpretations{{#tag:ref|cf. "The difference between believing and disbelieving a statement – your spouse is cheating on you; you’ve just won $10 million [“You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.”<ref name="HURLBUT2013"/>] – is one of the most potent regulators of human behavior and emotion. The instant we accept a given representation of the world as true, it becomes the basis for further thought and action; rejected as false it remains a string of words."<ref>{{cite book |title=What we believe but cannot prove: Today’s Leading Thinkers on Science in the age of certainty |editor=John Brockman |chapter=Sam Harris |publisher=Harper Collins |place=New York |year=2006 |pages= |isbn=978-0-06-084181-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060841818/ref=rdr_ext_tmb |quote=}}</ref> Our thoughts — cognition — play the key role in determining what emotions will be roused. Once we make an appraisal — ''"that taxi driver is cheating me"'' or ''"this baby is adorable,"'' a fitting emotional response follows.<ref name="Goleman1995">{{cite book |title=Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ |author=Daniel Goleman |publisher=Bantam Books |place=New York |year=1995 |chapter=Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind |pages=328, 336-7 |isbn=978-05538-40070 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=OgXxhmGiRB0C}}</ref> |group=note}} we make of those events, i.e. from conscious or subconscious beliefs we bring to that situation.<ref name="Virkler">{{cite book |last1= Virkler|first1= Henry A.|title= A Christian's Guide to Critical Thinking|url=http://books.google.no/books?id=rUgqAAAACAAJ&dq=virkler+A+Christian%27s+Guide+to+critical+thinking&hl=en&sa=X&ei=lzc9T9DDD4nN4QSy-fmACA&redir_esc=y |accessdate=16.2.2012 |type= |edition= |series= |volume= |date= |year= |month= |origyear=1993 |publisher= Wipf and Stock Publishers|location= Eugene, OR|isbn= 1-59752-661-4|page=253 3|pages=336 |at= Dealing with our Discomfort when Long-Established Beliefs are Threatened |chapter= 9 |quote= |ref= }}</ref> Its roots stem from a Rational-Emotive Therapy ('''RET''') developed initially by Albert Ellis in 1955.<ref name="Ellis">{{cite web |title=Expanding the ABCs of RET |author=Albert Ellis |publisher= |url=http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02281207#page-1 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=The original ABCs of rational-emotive therapy (RET)—where A stands for the Activating events in people's lives, B for their Beliefs about these events, and C for the emotional and behavioral Consequences or Concomitants of their Beliefs—have proved very popular and therapeutically useful since RET was created in 1955. These ABCs have been expanded over the years by Ellis and other writers on RET. This article presents an up-to-date and more detailed expansion of the ABCs, with special emphasis on expanding the more common rational Beliefs (rBs) and irrational Beliefs (iBs)}}</ref> According to him, over 200 research articles confirm this theory.<ref name="Virkler"/>  

'''The ABC Theory of Emotion''' represents a widely accepted model of how one's feelings and behavioral patterns are created. It asserts that the emotions we experience such as, for example,  frustration or anxiety, and resulting [[behavior]], do not come directly from the events in our lives, but from the interpretations{{#tag:ref|cf. "The difference between believing and disbelieving a statement – your spouse is cheating on you; you’ve just won $10 million [“You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.”<ref name="HURLBUT2013"/>] – is one of the most potent regulators of human behavior and emotion. The instant we accept a given representation of the world as true, it becomes the basis for further thought and action; rejected as false it remains a string of words."<ref>{{cite book |title=What we believe but cannot prove: Today’s Leading Thinkers on Science in the age of certainty |editor=John Brockman |chapter=Sam Harris |publisher=Harper Collins |place=New York |year=2006 |pages= |isbn=978-0-06-084181-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060841818/ref=rdr_ext_tmb |quote=}}</ref> Our thoughts — cognition — play the key role in determining what emotions will be roused. Once we make an appraisal — ''"that taxi driver is cheating me"'' or ''"this baby is adorable,"'' a fitting emotional response follows.<ref name="Goleman1995">{{cite book |title=Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ |author=Daniel Goleman |publisher=Bantam Books |place=New York |year=1995 |chapter=Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind |pages=328, 336-7 |isbn=978-05538-40070 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=OgXxhmGiRB0C}}</ref> |group=note}} we make of those events, i.e. from conscious or subconscious beliefs we bring to that situation.<ref name="Virkler">{{cite book |last1= Virkler|first1= Henry A.|title= A Christian's Guide to Critical Thinking|url=http://books.google.no/books?id=rUgqAAAACAAJ&dq=virkler+A+Christian%27s+Guide+to+critical+thinking&hl=en&sa=X&ei=lzc9T9DDD4nN4QSy-fmACA&redir_esc=y |accessdate=16.2.2012 |type= |edition= |series= |volume= |date= |year= |month= |origyear=1993 |publisher= Wipf and Stock Publishers|location= Eugene, OR|isbn= 1-59752-661-4|page=253 3|pages=336 |at= Dealing with our Discomfort when Long-Established Beliefs are Threatened |chapter= 9 |quote= |ref= }}</ref> Its roots stem from a Rational-Emotive Therapy ('''RET''') developed initially by Albert Ellis in 1955.<ref name="Ellis">{{cite web |title=Expanding the ABCs of RET |author=Albert Ellis |publisher= |url=http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02281207#page-1 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=The original ABCs of rational-emotive therapy (RET)—where A stands for the Activating events in people's lives, B for their Beliefs about these events, and C for the emotional and behavioral Consequences or Concomitants of their Beliefs—have proved very popular and therapeutically useful since RET was created in 1955. These ABCs have been expanded over the years by Ellis and other writers on RET. This article presents an up-to-date and more detailed expansion of the ABCs, with special emphasis on expanding the more common rational Beliefs (rBs) and irrational Beliefs (iBs)}}</ref> According to him, over 200 research articles confirm this theory.<ref name="Virkler"/>  

The traditional viewpoints and approaches about human behavior fail especially when it comes to understanding and dealing with so called [[disturbed character]]. Problems with functioning well in a social context are not so much a consequence of the way a person feels, but are associated with distorted thinking patterns and dysfunctional core beliefs.<ref name="SimonCharDist"/> The current research indicates that the cognitive-behavioral therapy consisting in confronting these erroneous thinking patterns and reinforcing a person's willingness to change them, together with their resulting behavior patterns, is the treatment of choice in such case.<ref name="Simon"/> Taking constructive action in one's life, such as disputing old irrational beliefs<ref name="Ellis"/>, helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.<ref>{{cite web |title=The Trouble With Self-Esteem  |author=Lauren Slater |publisher=The New York Times |date=February 3, 2002  |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/03/magazine/03ESTEEM.html |accessdate=December 22, 2014 |quote= Reynolds writes, ''Cure is not defined by the alleviation of discomfort or the attainment of some ideal state (which is impossible) but by taking constructive action in one's life which helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.''}}</ref> Disturbed emotions as consequences and concomitants of irrational beliefs can be inappropriately fueled and amplified beyond control also by [[substance abuse|addictive abuse]] of [[Ecstasy|psychoactive substances]].<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>         

The traditional viewpoints and approaches about human behavior fail especially when it comes to understanding and dealing with so called [[disturbed character]]. Problems with functioning well in a social context are not so much a consequence of the way a person feels, but are associated with distorted thinking patterns and dysfunctional core beliefs.<ref name="SimonCharDist"/> The current research indicates that the cognitive-behavioral therapy consisting in confronting these erroneous thinking patterns and reinforcing a person's willingness to change them, together with their resulting behavior patterns, is the treatment of choice in such case.<ref name="Simon"/> Taking constructive action in one's life, such as disputing old irrational beliefs<ref name="Ellis"/>, helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.<ref>{{cite web |title=The Trouble With Self-Esteem  |author=Lauren Slater |publisher=The New York Times |date=February 3, 2002  |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/03/magazine/03ESTEEM.html |accessdate=December 22, 2014 |quote= Reynolds writes, ''Cure is not defined by the alleviation of discomfort or the attainment of some ideal state (which is impossible) but by taking constructive action in one's life which helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.''}}</ref> Disturbed emotions as consequences and concomitants of irrational beliefs can be inappropriately fueled and amplified beyond control also by [[substance abuse|addictive abuse]] of [[Ecstasy|psychoactive substances]].<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>         

==='''[[Marriage]]'''===

==='''[[Marriage]]'''===

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyrrany of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29-30 |url=http://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyranny of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29-30 |url=http://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

==Notes==

==Notes==