Changes

| style="padding:15px;" |Activating Event '''A''' + Belief '''B''' ------> Emotional Consequence '''C'''

| style="padding:15px;" |Activating Event '''A''' + Belief '''B''' ------> Emotional Consequence '''C'''

|}

|}

'''The ABC Theory of Emotion''' represents a widely accepted model of how one's feelings and behavioral patterns are created. It asserts that the emotions we experience such as, for example,  frustration or anxiety, and resulting [[behavior]], do not come directly from the events in our lives, but from the interpretations{{#tag:ref|cf. "The difference between believing and disbelieving a statement – your spouse is cheating on you; you’ve just won $10 million [“You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.”<ref name="HURLBUT2013"/>] – is one of the most potent regulators of human behavior and emotion. The instant we accept a given representation of the world as true, it becomes the basis for further thought and action; rejected as false it remains a string of words."<ref>{{cite book |title=What we believe but cannot prove: Today’s Leading Thinkers on Science in the age of certainty |editor=John Brockman |chapter=Sam Harris |publisher=Harper Collins |place=New York |year=2006 |pages= |isbn=978-0-06-084181-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060841818/ref=rdr_ext_tmb |quote=}}</ref> Our thoughts — cognition — play the key role in determining what emotions will be roused. Once we make an appraisal — ''"that taxi driver is cheating me"'' or ''"this baby is adorable,"'' a fitting emotional response follows.<ref name="Goleman1995">{{cite book |title=Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ |author=Daniel Goleman |publisher=Bantam Books |place=New York |year=1995 |chapter=Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind |pages=328, 336-7 |isbn=978-05538-40070 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=OgXxhmGiRB0C}}</ref> |group=note}} we make of those events, i.e. from conscious or subconscious beliefs we bring to that situation.<ref name="Virkler">{{cite book |last1= Virkler|first1= Henry A.|title= A Christian's Guide to Critical Thinking|url=http://books.google.no/books?id=rUgqAAAACAAJ&dq=virkler+A+Christian%27s+Guide+to+critical+thinking&hl=en&sa=X&ei=lzc9T9DDD4nN4QSy-fmACA&redir_esc=y |accessdate=16.2.2012 |type= |edition= |series= |volume= |date= |year= |month= |origyear=1993 |publisher= Wipf and Stock Publishers|location= Eugene, OR|isbn= 1-59752-661-4|page=253 3|pages=336 |at= Dealing with our Discomfort when Long-Established Beliefs are Threatened |chapter= 9 |quote= |ref= }}</ref> Its roots stem from a Rational-Emotive Therapy ('''RET''') developed initially by Albert Ellis in 1955.<ref name="Ellis">{{cite web |title=Expanding the ABCs of RET |author=Albert Ellis |publisher= |url=http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02281207#page-1 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=The original ABCs of rational-emotive therapy (RET)—where A stands for the Activating events in people's lives, B for their Beliefs about these events, and C for the emotional and behavioral Consequences or Concomitants of their Beliefs—have proved very popular and therapeutically useful since RET was created in 1955. These ABCs have been expanded over the years by Ellis and other writers on RET. This article presents an up-to-date and more detailed expansion of the ABCs, with special emphasis on expanding the more common rational Beliefs (rBs) and irrational Beliefs (iBs)}}</ref> According to him, over 200 research articles confirm this theory.<ref name="Virkler"/>  

'''The ABC Theory of Emotion''' represents a widely accepted model of how one's feelings and behavioral patterns are created. It asserts that the emotions we experience such as, for example,  frustration or anxiety, and resulting [[behavior]], do not come directly from the events in our lives, but from the interpretations{{#tag:ref|cf. "The difference between believing and disbelieving a statement – your spouse is cheating on you; you’ve just won $10 million [“You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.”<ref name="HURLBUT2013"/>] – is one of the most potent regulators of human behavior and emotion. The instant we accept a given representation of the world as true, it becomes the basis for further thought and action; rejected as false it remains a string of words."<ref>{{cite book |title=What we believe but cannot prove: Today’s Leading Thinkers on Science in the age of certainty |editor=John Brockman |chapter=Sam Harris |publisher=Harper Collins |place=New York |year=2006 |pages= |isbn=978-0-06-084181-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060841818/ref=rdr_ext_tmb |quote=}}</ref> Our thoughts — cognition — play the key role in determining what emotions will be roused. Once we make an appraisal — ''"that taxi driver is cheating me"'' or ''"this baby is adorable,"'' a fitting emotional response follows.<ref name="Goleman1995">{{cite book |title=Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ |author=Daniel Goleman |publisher=Bantam Books |place=New York |year=1995 |chapter=Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind |pages=328, 336–7 |isbn=978-05538-40070 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=OgXxhmGiRB0C}}</ref> |group=note}} we make of those events, i.e. from conscious or subconscious beliefs we bring to that situation.<ref name="Virkler">{{cite book |last1= Virkler|first1= Henry A.|title= A Christian's Guide to Critical Thinking|url=http://books.google.no/books?id=rUgqAAAACAAJ&dq=virkler+A+Christian%27s+Guide+to+critical+thinking&hl=en&sa=X&ei=lzc9T9DDD4nN4QSy-fmACA&redir_esc=y |accessdate=16.2.2012 |type= |edition= |series= |volume= |date= |month= |year=1993 |publisher= Wipf and Stock Publishers|location= Eugene, OR|isbn= 1-59752-661-4|page=253 3|pages=336 |at= Dealing with our Discomfort when Long-Established Beliefs are Threatened |chapter= 9 |quote= |ref= }}</ref> Its roots stem from a Rational-Emotive Therapy ('''RET''') developed initially by Albert Ellis in 1955.<ref name="Ellis">{{cite web |title=Expanding the ABCs of RET |author=Albert Ellis |publisher= |url=http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02281207#page-1 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=The original ABCs of rational-emotive therapy (RET)—where A stands for the Activating events in people's lives, B for their Beliefs about these events, and C for the emotional and behavioral Consequences or Concomitants of their Beliefs—have proved very popular and therapeutically useful since RET was created in 1955. These ABCs have been expanded over the years by Ellis and other writers on RET. This article presents an up-to-date and more detailed expansion of the ABCs, with special emphasis on expanding the more common rational Beliefs (rBs) and irrational Beliefs (iBs)}}</ref> According to him, over 200 research articles confirm this theory.<ref name="Virkler"/>  

The traditional viewpoints and approaches about human behavior fail especially when it comes to understanding and dealing with so called [[disturbed character]]. Problems with functioning well in a social context are not so much a consequence of the way a person feels, but are associated with distorted thinking patterns and dysfunctional core beliefs.<ref name="SimonCharDist"/> The current research indicates that the cognitive-behavioral therapy consisting in confronting these erroneous thinking patterns and reinforcing a person's willingness to change them, together with their resulting behavior patterns, is the treatment of choice in such case.<ref name="Simon"/> Taking constructive action in one's life, such as disputing old irrational beliefs<ref name="Ellis"/>, helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.<ref>{{cite web |title=The Trouble With Self-Esteem  |author=Lauren Slater |publisher=The New York Times |date=February 3, 2002  |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/03/magazine/03ESTEEM.html |accessdate=December 22, 2014 |quote= Reynolds writes, ''Cure is not defined by the alleviation of discomfort or the attainment of some ideal state (which is impossible) but by taking constructive action in one's life which helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.''}}</ref> Disturbed emotions as consequences and concomitants of irrational beliefs can be inappropriately fueled and amplified beyond control also by [[substance abuse|addictive abuse]] of [[Ecstasy|psychoactive substances]].<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>         

The traditional viewpoints and approaches about human behavior fail especially when it comes to understanding and dealing with so called [[disturbed character]]. Problems with functioning well in a social context are not so much a consequence of the way a person feels, but are associated with distorted thinking patterns and dysfunctional core beliefs.<ref name="SimonCharDist"/> The current research indicates that the cognitive-behavioral therapy consisting in confronting these erroneous thinking patterns and reinforcing a person's willingness to change them, together with their resulting behavior patterns, is the treatment of choice in such case.<ref name="Simon"/> Taking constructive action in one's life, such as disputing old irrational beliefs,<ref name="Ellis"/> helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.<ref>{{cite web |title=The Trouble With Self-Esteem  |author=Lauren Slater |publisher=The New York Times |date=February 3, 2002  |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2002/02/03/magazine/03ESTEEM.html |accessdate=December 22, 2014 |quote= Reynolds writes, ''Cure is not defined by the alleviation of discomfort or the attainment of some ideal state (which is impossible) but by taking constructive action in one's life which helps one to live a full and meaningful existence and not be ruled by one's emotional state.''}}</ref> Disturbed emotions as consequences and concomitants of irrational beliefs can be inappropriately fueled and amplified beyond control also by [[substance abuse|addictive abuse]] of [[Ecstasy|psychoactive substances]].<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>         

    

    

== The Basic model ==

== The Basic model ==

The model's fundamental principle can be outlined as follows<ref name="Ellis"/>:

The model's fundamental principle can be outlined as follows:<ref name="Ellis"/>

*'''A'''...stands for '''A'''ctivating events in people's lives; these events represent what happens.  

*'''A'''...stands for '''A'''ctivating events in people's lives; these events represent what happens.  

*'''B'''...stands for people's conscious or subconscious '''B'''eliefs about these events and their meaning.   

*'''B'''...stands for people's conscious or subconscious '''B'''eliefs about these events and their meaning.   

== Examples ==

== Examples ==

==='''Homosexual Lifestyle'''===  

===Homosexual Lifestyle===

**''A: Activating event:'' [[Christopher Yuan]] explains in his book 'Out of A Far Country'<ref name="Yuan's Book">{{cite web |title=christopheryuan |year=2011 |publisher=WaterBrook Press |pages=6, 11, 82, 186, 187 |isbn=978-0-307-72935-4  |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=g3KR3nFcl1oC&dq=Christipher+Yuan+Out+of+far+country&hl=sk&sa=X&ei=UNwhUqPuDcqbtQb4qID4Bg&redir_esc=y |isbn=978-0-307-72935-4 |quote=It's not something I can choose. I was born this way...I am gay. ... I went from thinking, ''There is something wrong with me'', to, This is who I am. ... When I stepped into the gay community, I was introduced to a world of outcasts who had come together and become family. ... With my newfound confidence, I became popular in the gay club scene. ... Life with Derek was a roller-coaster ride from the start. For the first few weeks, every morning he'd tell me how much he loved me, how glad he was I'd moved in with him. I felt like we had become one - our souls enmeshed. But in reality, much of the passion between us was fueled by Ecstasy - thus our relationship was fierce and intense, both good and bad. ... When I asked where he'd been, he got angry and told me that I should get my own place. So I started packing my staff. ... Derek had told me somany times that I was the one. Now I couldn't break free of his strong grip, and he was about to kill me. ... he pushed me away and yelled, "Get out!"}}</ref>, co-authored with his mother, that what happened to him, when he was just 9 years old, was that he was exposed to [[pornography]] in a friend's house.<ref name="Yuan's Story">{{cite web |title=Christopher Yuan's story |publisher= |date=3 May 2010 |page=00min:33sec |url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwmUNqrirO4 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=When he was 9 years old, Christopher saw pornography in a friend's house. That's when he started thinking: Maybe he was different. Those images just awoke something in me that I didn't know was there but I also noticed that I was attracted by images of both men and women. He decided to keep his feelings secret with hope they will go away, but they didn't. All these feelings were kind of bubbling up in me and I was kind of keeping them held down. ...}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf. Exposure to pornography, especially at a young age, can also be gateway into the „gay“ lifestyle itself.<ref name="Lively2009">{{cite book |title=Redeeming the Rainbow: A Christian Response to the “Gay” Agenda |author=Scott Lively |publisher=Veritas Aeterna Press |place=Springfield, MA |year=2009 |edition=1 (Version 1.1)|page=60 |url=http://www.massresistance.org/docs/gen/09b/Redeeming_rainbow }}</ref> Just as happy memories cheer us up, or melancholy thoughts make us reflective, so can a sexual fantasy lead to sexual feelings.<ref name="Goleman1995"/>|group=note}} That gave him a distorted view of what sexuality is and awoke feelings of being attracted by images of both men and women.<ref name="Yuan's web">{{cite web |title=HOPE+ CrossRoads Video |author=Christopher Yuan |publisher=christopheryuan.com |date=3 May 2010 |url=http://www.christopheryuan.com/main/index.html |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote= Then at an early age I was exposed to pornography when I was just 9 years old. That really gave me a distorted view of what sexuality is... it was at that point that I realized that there was this attraction that I didn't really understand to both sexes ... I began to experiment with all these things that most kids experiment in college going to the bar and experiment sexually...I came across the gay clubs so I started going to those and I decided this is the way, this is what I was...}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf.  

**''A: Activating event:'' [[Christopher Yuan]] explains in his book 'Out of A Far Country',<ref name="Yuan's Book">{{cite book |title=christopheryuan |year=2011 |publisher=WaterBrook Press |pages=6, 11, 82, 186, 187 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=g3KR3nFcl1oC&dq=Christipher+Yuan+Out+of+far+country&hl=sk&sa=X&ei=UNwhUqPuDcqbtQb4qID4Bg&redir_esc=y |isbn=978-0-307-72935-4 |quote=It's not something I can choose. I was born this way...I am gay. ... I went from thinking, ''There is something wrong with me'', to, This is who I am. ... When I stepped into the gay community, I was introduced to a world of outcasts who had come together and become family. ... With my newfound confidence, I became popular in the gay club scene. ... Life with Derek was a roller-coaster ride from the start. For the first few weeks, every morning he'd tell me how much he loved me, how glad he was I'd moved in with him. I felt like we had become one - our souls enmeshed. But in reality, much of the passion between us was fueled by Ecstasy - thus our relationship was fierce and intense, both good and bad. ... When I asked where he'd been, he got angry and told me that I should get my own place. So I started packing my staff. ... Derek had told me somany times that I was the one. Now I couldn't break free of his strong grip, and he was about to kill me. ... he pushed me away and yelled, "Get out!"}}</ref> co-authored with his mother, that what happened to him, when he was just 9 years old, was that he was exposed to [[pornography]] in a friend's house.<ref name="Yuan's Story">{{cite web |title=Christopher Yuan's story |publisher= |date=3 May 2010 |page=00min:33sec |url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwmUNqrirO4 |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote=When he was 9 years old, Christopher saw pornography in a friend's house. That's when he started thinking: Maybe he was different. Those images just awoke something in me that I didn't know was there but I also noticed that I was attracted by images of both men and women. He decided to keep his feelings secret with hope they will go away, but they didn't. All these feelings were kind of bubbling up in me and I was kind of keeping them held down. ...}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf. Exposure to pornography, especially at a young age, can also be gateway into the „gay“ lifestyle itself.<ref name="Lively2009">{{cite book |title=Redeeming the Rainbow: A Christian Response to the "Gay" Agenda |author=Scott Lively |publisher=Veritas Aeterna Press |place=Springfield, MA |year=2009 |edition=1 (Version 1.1)|page=60 |url=http://www.massresistance.org/docs/gen/09b/Redeeming_rainbow }}</ref> Just as happy memories cheer us up, or melancholy thoughts make us reflective, so can a sexual fantasy lead to sexual feelings.<ref name="Goleman1995"/>|group=note}} That gave him a distorted view of what sexuality is and awoke feelings of being attracted by images of both men and women.<ref name="Yuan's web">{{cite web |title=HOPE+ CrossRoads Video |author=Christopher Yuan |publisher=christopheryuan.com |date=3 May 2010 |url=http://www.christopheryuan.com/main/index.html |accessdate=August 30, 2013 |quote= Then at an early age I was exposed to pornography when I was just 9 years old. That really gave me a distorted view of what sexuality is... it was at that point that I realized that there was this attraction that I didn't really understand to both sexes ... I began to experiment with all these things that most kids experiment in college going to the bar and experiment sexually...I came across the gay clubs so I started going to those and I decided this is the way, this is what I was...}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf.  

*Feeling distant from her unsympathetic mother, Anne Frank, a teenage girl, writes of her confusing sexual attraction for females in a diary addressed to imaginary friend: ''"I remember that once when I slept with a girlfriend, I had a strong desire to kiss her and that I did so. I could not help being terribly inquisitive over her body, for she had always kept it hidden from me. ... I go into ecstasies every time I see the naked figure of a woman. ... It strikes me as so wonderful and exquisite that I have difficulty in stopping the tears rolling down my cheeks. If only I had a girlfriend.''" Anne Frank's disclosure is a vivid example of the kinds of thoughts within many young people who occasionally experience this type of attraction. They are both alarmed and excited in the fleeting moments or dreams when their bodies are sexually drawn to the same sex. [[Same-sex attraction]]s are not unusual among teenagers. Some say that these attractions qualify a person as "homosexual". But this isn't true. The attractions exist, in part, for reasons outside of a person and do not mean they are abnormal. The existence of such feelings, however, signals a deep hunger and profound confusion.<ref name="RBC"/> Ex-lesbian [[Lisa Miller]] explained that after she quit the homosexual lifestyle she realized that her feelings of same-sex attractions can just as easily be transferred to a man - ''"it's as if I just want someone to love me,"'' she wrote. The struggles with same-sex attractions are no different than the struggles with loneliness, insecurity, and wanting to fill that emptiness and void with someone who could make a person feel special, loved, and wanted. Especially without a support system such a functional family, these feelings and strong desire to be loved unconditionally could lead to inappropriate thoughts of relationships<ref name="Only1Mommmy"/>, in the ''Extended ABC Theory of Emotion'' called '''irrational Beliefs'''.     

*Feeling distant from her unsympathetic mother, Anne Frank, a teenage girl, writes of her confusing sexual attraction for females in a diary addressed to imaginary friend: ''"I remember that once when I slept with a girlfriend, I had a strong desire to kiss her and that I did so. I could not help being terribly inquisitive over her body, for she had always kept it hidden from me. ... I go into ecstasies every time I see the naked figure of a woman. ... It strikes me as so wonderful and exquisite that I have difficulty in stopping the tears rolling down my cheeks. If only I had a girlfriend.''" Anne Frank's disclosure is a vivid example of the kinds of thoughts within many young people who occasionally experience this type of attraction. They are both alarmed and excited in the fleeting moments or dreams when their bodies are sexually drawn to the same sex. [[Same-sex attraction]]s are not unusual among teenagers. Some say that these attractions qualify a person as "homosexual". But this isn't true. The attractions exist, in part, for reasons outside of a person and do not mean they are abnormal. The existence of such feelings, however, signals a deep hunger and profound confusion.<ref name="RBC"/> Ex-lesbian [[Lisa Miller]] explained that after she quit the homosexual lifestyle she realized that her feelings of same-sex attractions can just as easily be transferred to a man - ''"it's as if I just want someone to love me,"'' she wrote. The struggles with same-sex attractions are no different than the struggles with loneliness, insecurity, and wanting to fill that emptiness and void with someone who could make a person feel special, loved, and wanted. Especially without a support system such a functional family, these feelings and strong desire to be loved unconditionally could lead to inappropriate thoughts of relationships,<ref name="Only1Mommmy"/> in the ''Extended ABC Theory of Emotion'' called '''irrational Beliefs'''.     

* The first Slovak documentary film on the gay community ''Crying of Angels'' (2005-2008) by Zuza Piussi captures the activating event for entering the homosexual lifestyle by one of the film’s major young protagonists  in the following way:

* The first Slovak documentary film on the gay community ''Crying of Angels'' (2005-2008) by Zuza Piussi captures the activating event for entering the homosexual lifestyle by one of the film’s major young protagonists  in the following way:

''"This is the first man in my life to whom I feel so incredibly attached, when I’m falling asleep, I’m thinking of him, my first morning thought belongs to him, when I'm doing whatsoever, I’m thinking of him. Can you imagine how it feels when somebody tells you how he desperately likes you, how he wants you, how he adores every simple bit of your body - I have never experienced anything like that before."'' Yet, after some time, the very same protagonist exhibits signs of replacing his old beliefs and adopting more accurate self-talk as result of effort to bring his emotional response and behaviour under the control after the lesson learnt how important it is to identify what we are saying to ourselves (In the Extended version of ABC theory of Emotion this is called: Detecting/Debating/Discriminating '''irrational Beliefs''' (iB) about Activating event, and replacing them and dysfunctional behaviour with Effective rational beliefs/Effective appropriate emotions/Effective functional behaviour)<ref name="Ellis"/>: ''"We broke up... What if... I became straight. What if I try to attract these chicks, there seem to be passing some right now. Now, after the last break-up, I feel like having an aversion to all guys, I don’t even meet with other males at the moment, nothing, nada, it does not matter whether they are straight or gay... I just feel such inner aversion to all penises...It's brutal how something broke that radically within me, for the first time I started thinking much differently -what if I have my own child, and this kid would not be with a man, what if I have it with wife and live with a woman. Perhaps it would be like passing to some sort of higher level."''<ref name="Piussi">{{cite web  

''"This is the first man in my life to whom I feel so incredibly attached, when I’m falling asleep, I’m thinking of him, my first morning thought belongs to him, when I'm doing whatsoever, I’m thinking of him. Can you imagine how it feels when somebody tells you how he desperately likes you, how he wants you, how he adores every simple bit of your body - I have never experienced anything like that before."'' Yet, after some time, the very same protagonist exhibits signs of replacing his old beliefs and adopting more accurate self-talk as result of effort to bring his emotional response and behaviour under the control after the lesson learnt how important it is to identify what we are saying to ourselves (In the Extended version of ABC theory of Emotion this is called: Detecting/Debating/Discriminating '''irrational Beliefs''' (iB) about Activating event, and replacing them and dysfunctional behaviour with Effective rational beliefs/Effective appropriate emotions/Effective functional behaviour):<ref name="Ellis"/> ''"We broke up... What if... I became straight. What if I try to attract these chicks, there seem to be passing some right now. Now, after the last break-up, I feel like having an aversion to all guys, I don’t even meet with other males at the moment, nothing, nada, it does not matter whether they are straight or gay... I just feel such inner aversion to all penises...It's brutal how something broke that radically within me, for the first time I started thinking much differently -what if I have my own child, and this kid would not be with a man, what if I have it with wife and live with a woman. Perhaps it would be like passing to some sort of higher level."''<ref name="Piussi">{{cite web  

|title=Crying of Angels  

|title=Crying of Angels  

|author= Zuza Piussi  

|author= Zuza Piussi  

|pages=01min:55sec

|pages=01min:55sec

|url=http://www.atelierdoc.sk/projekty/20/41/Zuza-Piussi-THE-CRYING-OF-ANGELS/

|url=http://www.atelierdoc.sk/projekty/20/41/Zuza-Piussi-THE-CRYING-OF-ANGELS/

|accessdate=November 3, 2013 |quote=To je prvý človek na ktorého som tak neskutočne naviazaný, ja zaspávam myslím na neho, sa zobúdzam, myslím na neho, ja robím hocičo, myslím na neho. Vieš aký je to pocit keď Ti niekto rozpráva ako sa mu strašne páčiš, ako Ťa chce, ako Ťa zbožňuje, každý kúsok Tvojho tela – to sa mi v živote nestalo.  

|accessdate=November 3, 2013 |quote=To je prvý človek na ktorého som tak neskutočne naviazaný, ja zaspávam myslím na neho, sa zobúdzam, myslím na neho, ja robím hocičo, myslím na neho. Vieš aký je to pocit keď Ti niekto rozpráva ako sa mu strašne páčiš, ako Ťa chce, ako Ťa zbožňuje, každý kúsok Tvojho tela – to sa mi v živote nestalo. … Rozišli sme sa ... … čo keby som sa stal heterákom. Čo keby som zbalil tieto pipiny, tu idú nejaké. Teraz som po tom poslednom rozchode taký že mám averziu voči všetkým chlapom, teraz sa ani nestretám s rôznymi chlapmi, nič, to je jedno či je to heterák, či je teplý... Taká vnútorná averzia voči penisom, .... Je to brutálne, so mnou sa niečo tak zlomilo, že aké by to bolo keby som ja mal svoje vlastné dieťa, a som prvý krát začal rozmýšľať že keby to dieťa nebolo s mužom, že keby to jednoducho bolo dieťa, keby som ho mal so ženou -a žil so ženou. Možno že by to bolo také postúpenie do nejakého vyššieho levelu. |language=Slovak, English}}</ref>|group=note}}  

… Rozišli sme sa ...  

… čo keby som sa stal heterákom. Čo keby som zbalil tieto pipiny, tu idú nejaké.  

Teraz som po tom poslednom rozchode taký že mám averziu voči všetkým chlapom, teraz sa ani nestretám s rôznymi chlapmi, nič, to je jedno či je to heterák, či je teplý... Taká vnútorná averzia voči penisom, .... Je to brutálne, so mnou sa niečo tak zlomilo, že aké by to bolo keby som ja mal svoje vlastné dieťa, a som prvý krát začal rozmýšľať že keby to dieťa nebolo s mužom, že keby to jednoducho bolo dieťa, keby som ho mal so ženou -a žil so ženou. Možno že by to bolo také postúpenie do nejakého vyššieho levelu. |language=Slovak, English}}</ref>|group=note}}  

{| class="infobox bordered" style="font-size:95%; width:25em;"

{| class="infobox bordered" style="font-size:95%; width:25em;"

! style="font-size:120%; background:lightgreen; text-align:center; padding:5px 0;" | The first principle

! style="font-size:120%; background:lightgreen; text-align:center; padding:5px 0;" | The first principle

*External Link: [http://www.mygenes.co.nz/PDFs/Ch8.pdf Are brains "gay"?]<ref>{{cite web |title=My Genes Made Me Do It! - Homosexuality and the scientific evidence. |author= |url=http://www.mygenes.co.nz/download.htm}}</ref>

*External Link: [http://www.mygenes.co.nz/PDFs/Ch8.pdf Are brains "gay"?]<ref>{{cite web |title=My Genes Made Me Do It! - Homosexuality and the scientific evidence. |author= |url=http://www.mygenes.co.nz/download.htm}}</ref>

*"Worse yet: when people lament their homosexual tendencies, you have just told them, “You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.” Of course what you do not realize is that homosexuality is a learned response, a teachable response, and a recruitable response. Such recruitment took place in ancient Greece, and again in medieval Rome. And recent evidence suggests it is taking place again."<ref name="HURLBUT2013">{{cite web |title=Homosexuality: Open Letter To Christie |author=Terry Hurlbut |date=August 24, 2013 |url=http://www.conservativenewsandviews.com/2013/08/24/family/homosexuality-open-letter-governor-christie/ |accessdate=October 31, 2013}}</ref>

*"Worse yet: when people lament their homosexual tendencies, you have just told them, “You’re gay. You were born that way. Accept it.” Of course what you do not realize is that homosexuality is a learned response, a teachable response, and a recruitable response. Such recruitment took place in ancient Greece, and again in medieval Rome. And recent evidence suggests it is taking place again."<ref name="HURLBUT2013">{{cite web |title=Homosexuality: Open Letter To Christie |author=Terry Hurlbut |date=August 24, 2013 |url=http://www.conservativenewsandviews.com/2013/08/24/family/homosexuality-open-letter-governor-christie/ |accessdate=October 31, 2013}}</ref>

*The Christians are frequently blamed and labeled for being [[Moral_relativism#Moral_relativism_as_TUMOR|intolerant]] against homosexuals. Recently it became a part of public debate in Germany when at one event there was held a workshop offering help to people struggling with same-sex attractions. One of my teachers asked me how come that Christians are so ''“intolerant”''. I gave her the following answer: “Think twice who is actually intolerant. There are number of people who have “homosexual” tendencies, because they were [[Sexual abuse being a contributing factor for homosexuality|abused]] as children, seduced, or something similar. Many simply have homosexual fantasies, but they don’t like it and feel concerned about it. They seek for help, but at the same time they feel embarrassed to acknowledge it. They would like to live in normal way, but are struggling with their emotions. And today they are told: ''“You cannot have any problem! Just be homosexuals, whether you like it or not! It is compulsory upon you to be them!”'' Is this tolerant? There are multiples of people being ignored, who search for help, but it cannot be granted to them. They are being ignored by totalitarian homo-policy, and not tolerated! And woe to you should you be interested to help them.” This teacher was not stupid, she acknowledged my point.<ref>{{cite book |title=Kreuz & Quer in der Szene |author=Novak, Kornelius et al. |publisher=Lichtzeichen-Verlag |year=2010 |pages=110 |isbn=9783869540184 |url=http://lichtzeichen-shop.com/Buecher/Evangelistische-Literatur/Kreuz-Quer-in-der-Szene.html |language=German}}</ref>|group=note}} Such [[phenomenon]] when our ability to fool ourselves can push us towards erroneous conclusions is recognized as [[ideomotor effect]].

*The Christians are frequently blamed and labeled for being [[Moral relativism#Moral relativism as TUMOR|intolerant]] against homosexuals. Recently it became a part of public debate in Germany when at one event there was held a workshop offering help to people struggling with same-sex attractions. One of my teachers asked me how come that Christians are so ''“intolerant”''. I gave her the following answer: “Think twice who is actually intolerant. There are number of people who have “homosexual” tendencies, because they were [[Sexual abuse being a contributing factor for homosexuality|abused]] as children, seduced, or something similar. Many simply have homosexual fantasies, but they don’t like it and feel concerned about it. They seek for help, but at the same time they feel embarrassed to acknowledge it. They would like to live in normal way, but are struggling with their emotions. And today they are told: ''“You cannot have any problem! Just be homosexuals, whether you like it or not! It is compulsory upon you to be them!”'' Is this tolerant? There are multiples of people being ignored, who search for help, but it cannot be granted to them. They are being ignored by totalitarian homo-policy, and not tolerated! And woe to you should you be interested to help them.” This teacher was not stupid, she acknowledged my point.<ref>{{cite book |title=Kreuz & Quer in der Szene |author=Novak, Kornelius et al. |publisher=Lichtzeichen-Verlag |year=2010 |pages=110 |isbn=9783869540184 |url=http://lichtzeichen-shop.com/Buecher/Evangelistische-Literatur/Kreuz-Quer-in-der-Szene.html |language=German}}</ref>|group=note}} Such [[phenomenon]] when our ability to fool ourselves can push us towards erroneous conclusions is recognized as [[ideomotor effect]].

**''C: Behavioural consequences of the belief:'' His belief about the activation event produced his later behavioural patterns including sexual experimentation, visiting gay clubs and bars, and promiscuous sexual encounters with other men.<ref name="Yuan's web"/> This homosexual lifestyle{{#tag:ref|Note: The [[Christian]] [[ethics]] is based on [[Christ]]'s teaching in the [[Gospel]]s that we should multiply our [[talent]]s, behave [[ethical]]ly, and not be extravagant in [[lifestyle]].<ref name="Salt">{{cite book

**''C: Behavioural consequences of the belief:'' His belief about the activation event produced his later behavioural patterns including sexual experimentation, visiting gay clubs and bars, and promiscuous sexual encounters with other men.<ref name="Yuan's web"/> This homosexual lifestyle{{#tag:ref|Note: The [[Christian]] [[ethics]] is based on [[Christ]]'s teaching in the [[Gospel]]s that we should multiply our [[talent]]s, behave [[ethical]]ly, and not be extravagant in [[lifestyle]].<ref name="Salt">{{cite book

|title=Light, Salt and the world of business

|title=Light, Salt and the world of business

|isbn=978-1-899464-05-0

|isbn=978-1-899464-05-0

|url=http://www.didaskofiles.com/?page_id=52

|url=http://www.didaskofiles.com/?page_id=52

}}</ref> Homosexual lifestyle is based on nonprocreative, essentially sterile act of sodomy that is, as [[Gedankenexperiment#Marriage_vs._Homosexual_Life-style|scientific device shows]], intrisically unfit for generation. It includes morally corrupt sexual behavior, such as anal intercourse, thus as such can be regarded as extravagant and representing antithesis to moral and ethical behaviour and lifestyle.<ref name="Reilly2014">{{cite book |title=Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything |author=Robert R. Reilly |publisher=Ignatius Press |place=San Francisco |pages=91- |isbn=978-1-58617-833-8 |url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO-JTobNH80}}</ref>|group=note}} was not caused directly by activation event itself, but by his interpretation of its meaning. Later, after being diagnosed as [[HIV]] positive, he realized that his justification for homosexuality was wrong and he mistakenly allowed his feelings and sexual passions to dictate who he was.<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>{{#tag:ref|cf.

}}</ref> Homosexual lifestyle is based on nonprocreative, essentially sterile act of sodomy that is, as [[Gedankenexperiment#Marriage vs. Homosexual Life-style|scientific device shows]], intrisically unfit for generation. It includes morally corrupt sexual behavior, such as anal intercourse, thus as such can be regarded as extravagant and representing antithesis to moral and ethical behaviour and lifestyle.<ref name="Reilly2014">{{cite book |title=Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything |author=Robert R. Reilly |publisher=Ignatius Press |place=San Francisco |pages=91- |isbn=978-1-58617-833-8 |url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO-JTobNH80}}</ref>|group=note}} was not caused directly by activation event itself, but by his interpretation of its meaning. Later, after being diagnosed as [[HIV]] positive, he realized that his justification for homosexuality was wrong and he mistakenly allowed his feelings and sexual passions to dictate who he was.<ref name="Yuan's Book"/>{{#tag:ref|cf.

*“This 'knowledge' of ''who we really are'' is the ''gnosis'' that [[Gnosticism]] is all about.”<ref name="Skarsaune">{{cite book

*“This 'knowledge' of ''who we really are'' is the ''gnosis'' that [[Gnosticism]] is all about.”<ref name="Skarsaune">{{cite book

|author=Oskar Skarsaune

|author=Oskar Skarsaune

|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=2q6qTb-A7GwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Oskar+Skarsaune+In+the+shadow+of+the+temple&hl=en&sa=X&ei=6WuMUIihIJTN4QSbnoGIBQ&redir_esc=y

|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=2q6qTb-A7GwC&printsec=frontcover&dq=Oskar+Skarsaune+In+the+shadow+of+the+temple&hl=en&sa=X&ei=6WuMUIihIJTN4QSbnoGIBQ&redir_esc=y

}}</ref>

}}</ref>

*“He who does not know the holy God cannot know himself.”<ref>{{cite book |title=Mojžiš a Desatoro |author=Jozef Ondrej Markuš |publisher=Matica slovenská |year= 2003  |place=Martin, Slovakia |pages=86 |isbn= 978-807-096-9038|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=NCkzywAACAAJ |quote=Kto však nepozná svätého Boha, ten nemôže poznať ani seba samého. |language=Slovak}}</ref>|group=note}} When passions are confused with same-sex attractions, people still have to choose to act on those feelings and their personal beliefs play the key role in this respect.<ref name="Only1Mommmy">{{cite book |author=Rena M. Lindevaldsen |title=The Lisa Miller Story: Only One Mommy: A Woman's Battle for Her Life, Her Daughter, and Her Freedom |publisher=New Revolution Publishers |year=2011 |pages=69, 118 |isbn=978-1-937102-01-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/Only-One-Mommy-Daughter-Freedom/dp/1937102017}}</ref> Slovak homosexual [[Jozef Demjan]] who previously had six relations with men quit his homosexual lifestyle and in 2012 married Julia after he changed the interpretation of his same-sex attractions. He compares them to birds that ''"one cannot prevent from flying all over your head but what one can do is to prevent them to make a nest upon it."''<ref>{{cite web |title=Svadba bez pretvárky, ale plná kontroverznosti! Róm s homosexuálnou minulosťou sa oženil s nerómkou, baptistkou! (Romany young lad with homosexual past has married non-romany babtist girl) |publisher=markiza.sk |date=05. September 2012 |url=http://modrezneba.markiza.sk/clanok/svadba-bez-pretvarky-ale-plna-kontroverznosti.html |accessdate=August 6, 2013|language=Slovak}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |title=Oslobodený z homosexuality - Príbeh Jozefa a Júlie Modré z Neba (Set free from homosexuality: The story of Jozef and Júlia)|url=http://en.gloria.tv/?media=330027 |quote=nezabrániš vtákom aby leteli nad tvojou hlavou ale môžeš zabrániť aby si na nej spravili hniezdo |language=Slovak}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf. [[Homosexuality]] is a persistent preoccupation with erotic encounters involving members of the same sex, which may or may not be acted out with another person. Put another way, it is making deliberate plans to entertain and cooperate in sexual fantasies or behaviors with someone of the same sex. Although having the same-sex attractions is not something for which we are morally responsible, it is when we begin planning to entertain these attractions in fantasy or behavior that we cross the [[Boundaries (Psychology)|line]]. If the attractions turn into a preoccupation, the temptation to embrace homosexual behavior is great<ref name="RBC">{{cite book |title=When Passions Are Confused|author=Jeff Olson|publisher=RBC Ministries, discoveryseries.org |year=1996 |pages=14 |url=http://jesus-revolution.com/Documents/When_Passions_Are_Confused_Understanding_Homosexuality.pdf}}</ref> and at the end it can develop into [[obsessive compulsive disorder]].|group=note}} Similarly, [[Michael Glatze]], an ex-prominent gay activist and former editor of a [[San Francisco]]-based, youth-focused homosexual magazines XY Magazine and Young Gay America (Y.G.A.), renounced homosexuality, decided to break up with his ex-partner of 10 years and in October 2013 married a woman, Rebekah. His transformation from gay to straight began after he started to question his lifestyle following a health scare. Now he stands by his opinion about homosexuality as a flawed and mistaken lifestyle.<ref>{{cite web |title=Former Gay Activist Marries Woman; Addresses Critics Who Condemn His New Heterosexual Lifestyle |author=Jessica Martinez|date=December 13, 2013 |publisher= CP U.S. |url=http://www.christianpost.com/news/former-gay-activist-marries-woman-addresses-critics-who-condemn-his-new-heterosexual-lifestyle-110736/ |accessdate=December 25, 2013 |quote=}}</ref> How we think, what we believe, and the attitudes we've developed largely determine how we will act.<ref name="Simon">{{cite book

*“He who does not know the holy God cannot know himself.”<ref>{{cite book |title=Mojžiš a Desatoro |author=Jozef Ondrej Markuš |publisher=Matica slovenská |year= 2003  |place=Martin, Slovakia |pages=86 |isbn= 978-807-096-9038|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=NCkzywAACAAJ |quote=Kto však nepozná svätého Boha, ten nemôže poznať ani seba samého. |language=Slovak}}</ref>|group=note}} When passions are confused with same-sex attractions, people still have to choose to act on those feelings and their personal beliefs play the key role in this respect.<ref name="Only1Mommmy">{{cite book |author=Rena M. Lindevaldsen |title=The Lisa Miller Story: Only One Mommy: A Woman's Battle for Her Life, Her Daughter, and Her Freedom |publisher=New Revolution Publishers |year=2011 |pages=69, 118 |isbn=978-1-937102-01-2 |url=http://www.amazon.com/Only-One-Mommy-Daughter-Freedom/dp/1937102017}}</ref> Slovak homosexual [[Jozef Demjan]] who previously had six relations with men quit his homosexual lifestyle and in 2012 married Julia after he changed the interpretation of his same-sex attractions. He compares them to birds that ''"one cannot prevent from flying all over your head but what one can do is to prevent them to make a nest upon it."''<ref>{{cite web |title=Svadba bez pretvárky, ale plná kontroverznosti! Róm s homosexuálnou minulosťou sa oženil s nerómkou, baptistkou! (Romany young lad with homosexual past has married non-romany babtist girl) |publisher=markiza.sk |date=05. September 2012 |url=http://modrezneba.markiza.sk/clanok/svadba-bez-pretvarky-ale-plna-kontroverznosti.html |accessdate=August 6, 2013|language=Slovak}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |title=Oslobodený z homosexuality - Príbeh Jozefa a Júlie Modré z Neba (Set free from homosexuality: The story of Jozef and Júlia)|url=http://en.gloria.tv/?media=330027 |quote=nezabrániš vtákom aby leteli nad tvojou hlavou ale môžeš zabrániť aby si na nej spravili hniezdo |language=Slovak}}</ref>{{#tag:ref|cf. [[Homosexuality]] is a persistent preoccupation with erotic encounters involving members of the same sex, which may or may not be acted out with another person. Put another way, it is making deliberate plans to entertain and cooperate in sexual fantasies or behaviors with someone of the same sex. Although having the same-sex attractions is not something for which we are morally responsible, it is when we begin planning to entertain these attractions in fantasy or behavior that we cross the [[Boundaries (Psychology)|line]]. If the attractions turn into a preoccupation, the temptation to embrace homosexual behavior is great<ref name="RBC">{{cite book |title=When Passions Are Confused|author=Jeff Olson|publisher=RBC Ministries, discoveryseries.org |year=1996 |pages=14 |url=http://jesus-revolution.com/Documents/When_Passions_Are_Confused_Understanding_Homosexuality.pdf}}</ref> and at the end it can develop into [[obsessive compulsive disorder]].|group=note}} Similarly, [[Michael Glatze]], an ex-prominent gay activist and former editor of a [[San Francisco]]-based, youth-focused homosexual magazines XY Magazine and Young Gay America (Y.G.A.), renounced homosexuality, decided to break up with his ex-partner of 10 years and in October 2013 married a woman, Rebekah. His transformation from gay to straight began after he started to question his lifestyle following a health scare. Now he stands by his opinion about homosexuality as a flawed and mistaken lifestyle.<ref>{{cite web |title=Former Gay Activist Marries Woman; Addresses Critics Who Condemn His New Heterosexual Lifestyle |author=Jessica Martinez|date=December 13, 2013 |publisher= CP U.S. |url=http://www.christianpost.com/news/former-gay-activist-marries-woman-addresses-critics-who-condemn-his-new-heterosexual-lifestyle-110736/ |accessdate=December 25, 2013 |quote=}}</ref> How we think, what we believe, and the attitudes we've developed largely determine how we will act.<ref name="SimonCharDist">{{cite book

}}</ref><ref name="SimonCharDist">{{cite book

|title=Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of Our Age

|title=Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of Our Age

|author=George K. Simon

|author=George K. Simon

|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=BvDSRwAACAAJ

|url=http://books.google.com/books?id=BvDSRwAACAAJ

|quote=How we think in large measure determines how we will act.

|quote=How we think in large measure determines how we will act.

}}</ref>

}}</ref>

==='''[[Marriage]]'''===

===[[Marriage]]===

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyranny of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29-30 |url=http://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

People tend to give to feelings of romantic love a status of autonomous authority over marriage. When the disillusioned couples discover that ''"we just don't love each other anymore,"'' they tearfully conclude that their marriage has lost its essential basis for existence. Although love is essential ingredient of marriage, the marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. The nature and place of romantic love needs to be reexamined. Marriage gives to love a situation of stability and permanence, wherin it can grow toward maturity and rescues love from tyranny of strong but ''immature feelings''. It helps a person to live out times of difficulty and win through to new depths of love and understanding. In line with ABC theory of emotion, love is far more subject to ''will'' than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love (emotional Consequence C) because we set our mind (Belief B) to do so in reaction to awareness of being married (Activation event A). Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that ''"we just don't love each other anymore"'' should be told quite simply, ''"Well, start learning!"'' In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love, but rather we train love to be the willing servant of our marriage. This kind of love does not grow in the sandy soil of our immediate feelings, but it roots down into the rich subsoil of mutual esteem. In considering the structure of marriage, the Christian woman holds her mate in the high regard which God has conferred on him with the name 'husband'; the Christian man likewise cherises the woman whom God has honored with the name 'wife'. A reverence for the dignity and honor which God has bestowed upon one's mate establishes married love upon an enduring foundation. From Biblical perspective, romantic feelings of love are not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of successful marriage.<ref>{{cite book |title=The Christian Family |author=Larry Christenson |publisher=Betany House Publishers |year=1970 |pages=29–30 |url=http://books.google.com/books?redir_esc=y&id=ylptFvibvuYC}}</ref> Biblical approach consisting in commanding us to love one another is compatible with the principles discovered in the ABC Theory of Emotion.

==Notes==

==Notes==