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Reverted edits by Trollingboy (talk) to last revision by 1990'sguy
Person reading "Conservative jokes" page: Why do relativity-deniers think puns are so funny?
Person reading "Conservative jokes" page: Why do relativity-deniers think puns are so funny?
Answer: they're not offensive to their fi fis
Answer: They still think of puns as one of the four humors.
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Conservapedia vandal: Hmmm...if I make two fake accounts, instead of one, they'll never suspect me!
Conservapedia vandal: Hmmm...if I make two fake accounts, instead of one, they'll never suspect me!
Conservapedia admin: Like I've never seen a pair of socks before.
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What do progressive stores hold to show their "progressive" reverse racism?
What do progressive stores hold to show their "progressive" reverse racism?
:like progressives and regressives were the same thing.
:Black-only Friday.
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When did Michael Shermer become a skeptic?
When did Michael Shermer become a skeptic?
Where was evidence of ''Archaeopteryx'' first discovered?
Where was evidence of ''Archaeopteryx'' first discovered?
:Germany.
:Wall Drug's gift store.
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Why did Westminster University give Richard Dawkins an honorary degree?
Why did Westminster University give Richard Dawkins an honorary degree?
:They thought he was [[Richard Dawson|the guy from ''Family Feud'']].
:They thought he was [[Richard Dawson|the guy from ''Family Feud'']].
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What's the only creationist question an evolutionist hasn't answered?
What's the only creationist question an evolutionist has answered?
:"why are creationists not dead off their ignorance?"
:"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
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What's the only reason pseudoscientists know of for the universe's not being homogenous?
What's the only reason pseudoscientists know of for the universe's not being homogenous?
:background radiation.
:They know of no matter existing between Las Vegas and Washington.
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How many [[liberal]]s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many [[liberal]]s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
:Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark. you know, about shit like evolution or MLK being a socialist.
:Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark.
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What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song?
What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song?
:"HAHA I PEE PEE WITH MY WEE WEE"<ref>m°↓https://genius.com/Kevinbo202-already-over-part-2-annotated</ref>
:"(You're) Having my Baby."
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How can we stop global warming?
How can we stop global warming?
:by not being blind
:Leaving our refrigerators open.
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What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack?
What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack?
:Isaac Fig Newton. because christians are demons if they care about science.
:Isaac Fig Newton
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Did you hear about the new Obama diet?<ref name="ijr">Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". ''Independent Journal Review''. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/</ref>
Did you hear about the new Obama diet?<ref name="ijr">Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". ''Independent Journal Review''. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/</ref>
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
:A science club.<ref name="ijr" />
:A whine cellar.<ref name="ijr" />
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Today, it was so cold, I saw a conservative with his hands in his own pockets.
Today, it was so cold, I saw a liberal with his hands in his own pockets.
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I hope [[global warming]] is real. Those [[Conservative|snowflakes]] will melt in the politically incorrect heat!
I hope [[global warming]] is real. Those [[Liberal|snowflakes]] will melt in the politically incorrect heat!
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What is [[Ted Cruz]]'s favorite breakfast cereal?
What is [[Hillary Clinton]]'s favorite breakfast cereal?
:Subtle Trix.
:Subtle Trix.
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And his favorite Everly Brothers song?
And her favorite Everly Brothers song?
:"All I Have to Do is Scheme,"
:"All I Have to Do is Scheme,"
What's a conservative's favorite shape?
What's a conservative's favorite shape?
:A flat head.
:A right triangle.
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What do you call a conservative accountant?
What do you call a conservative accountant?
Why can't a group of all liberals assemble a country?
Why can't a group of all liberals assemble a country?
:because you're giving wayyyyyy too much attention to the shitty ones.
:They don't have the Right.
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How do atheists search for nuclear fusion?
How do atheists search for nuclear fusion?
:actually trying.
:Through intensive trial and error with expensive laboratory equipment and taxpayer dollars.
But how do the Christians do it?
But how do the Christians do it?
:they're pigs if they like science.<ref>The Sun, and all stars, are examples of nuclear fusion (in this case, fusing hydrogen to form helium and other gases). Scientists are seeking to replicate this at lower temperatures, called "cold fusion."</ref>
:Looking out their windows.<ref>The Sun, and all stars, are examples of nuclear fusion (in this case, fusing hydrogen to form helium and other gases). Scientists are seeking to replicate this at lower temperatures, called "cold fusion."</ref>
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What did Obama do when a ship from outer space landed on Earth?
What did Obama do when a ship from outer space landed on Earth?
:How lazy are they?
:How lazy are they?
They're so lazy, they didn't get around to the [[October Revolution]] until November. because liberal = Communist
They're so lazy, they didn't get around to the [[October Revolution]] until November.
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How does [[Carl Sagan]] think the universe was formed?
How does [[Carl Sagan]] think the universe was formed?
:from a giant explosion.
:A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
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What do you call a party for pseudoscientists?
What do you call a party for pseudoscientists?
:The Grand old party.
:Dance dance evolution.
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What did the conservative parents name their sons?
What did the conservative parents name their sons?
Why do many conservatives listen to heavy metal?
Why do many conservatives listen to heavy metal?
:they don't because they're a bunch of cowards.
:Because they rock.
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How did Hillary Clinton lose the 2016 presidential election?
How did Hillary Clinton lose the 2016 presidential election?
:they found she rigged the primaries against bernie.
:She was Trumped.
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What causes road rage among liberals?
What causes road rage among liberals?
:When the street light doesn't go green.
:When the street light doesn't go green.
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What is the difference between George Bush and a vampire?
What is the difference between Barack Obama and a vampire?
:Well at least a vampire eventually stops sucking.
:Well at least a vampire eventually stops sucking.
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Guns make liberals triggered, unlike me. a creationist homophobic science denying genius.
Guns make liberals triggered.
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Why do conservatives like guns unlike liberals?
Why do conservatives like guns unlike liberals?
:Because hunter avallone doesn't exist
:Because conservatives can actually take a bullet for someone or something.
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What is [[Chris Christie]]'s favorite animal?
What is [[Chris Christie]]'s favorite animal?
:A [[RINO]].
:A [[RINO]].
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What do dumbasses and iPhones have in common?
What do liberals and iPhones have in common?
:If you don't hear them for a long time, they probably lost.
:If you don't hear them for a long time, they probably lost.
What is the difference between liberals and cigarettes?
What is the difference between liberals and cigarettes?
:cigarretes don't have amazing brains.
:[[Donald Trump]] doesn't smoke cigarettes.
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What do liberals and businesses have in common?
What do liberals and businesses have in common?
:They're both helping the economy.
:They're both owned by Donald Trump.
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Knock, knock!
Knock, knock!
Bernie.
Bernie.
Bernie who?
Bernie who?
Yep! You said it right!
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Knock, knock!
Knock, knock!
Irate.
Irate.
Irate who?
Irate who?
Irate this shitty site a zero out of ten!
Irate the Obama administration a zero out of ten!
==Wikipedia's Slogan==
==Wikipedia's Slogan==
What liquid is worth 0.4 cents a gallon to a conservative, but $1.22 per gallon to a liberal?
What liquid is worth 0.4 cents a gallon to a conservative, but $1.22 per gallon to a liberal?
:brain juice, liberals earn their smarts.
:Water, whether tap or bottled
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If a christian sins enough ... is he still a christian?
If an atheist deifies himself enough ... is he still an atheist?
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A book never written ... ''i am normal'' by Gary Busey.
A book never written ... ''The Ultimate Liberal Government'' by Ann R. Key.
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Another book never written ... ''Clinton Explains Benghazi'' by Heidi Bodhis(fair enough)
Another book never written ... ''Clinton Explains Benghazi'' by Heidi Bodhis
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Another book never written ... ''A World of Total Animal Liberation'' by Pete Ah
Another book never written ... ''A World of Total Animal Liberation'' by Pete Ah