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|Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
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|Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet Stephen Colbert.
 
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|While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
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|While Stephen tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
 
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|And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
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|And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, Colbert cometh; go ye out to meet him.
 
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|And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
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|And while they went to buy, Stephen Colbert came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
 
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|Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
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|Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Stephen, Stephen, open to us.
 
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|But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
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|But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, you are dead to me.
 
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|Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.
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|Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Stephen cometh.
 
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|And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
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|And unto Stephen he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
 
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|And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
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|And so Stephen came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
 
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|Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
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|Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto Stephen.
 
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|And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
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|And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats, saying "This is Tip of the Hat- Wag of the Finger":
 
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|For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
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|For I was an hungred, and ye told me that hunger could be a great motivator: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye asked to see my green card:
 
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|Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
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|Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye told me I had a pre-existing condition I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
 
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|Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
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|Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and told ye that hunger could be a great motivator? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
 
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|When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
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|When saw we thee a stranger, and demanded a green card? or naked, and clothed thee?
 
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