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Matthew 20-28 (Translated) (view source)
Revision as of 13:52, October 9, 2009
, 13:52, October 9, 2009Reverted edits by Cmccaw (Talk) to last version by Jinxmchue
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|For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is a late night television host, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his studio.
|For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard.
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|And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his studio.
|And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.
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|And said unto them; Go ye also into the studio, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.
|And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.
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|They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the studio; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.
|They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.
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|And when they had received it, they murmured against the host of the show,
|And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house,
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|Behold, this is the threat down: we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they shall condemn him to death,
|Behold, we go up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man shall be betrayed unto the chief priests and unto the scribes, and they shall condemn him to death,
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|And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Stephen two disciples,
|And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples,
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|And the disciples went, and did as Stephen commanded them,
|And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them,
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|And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of James: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.
|And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the Son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest.
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|And the multitude said, This is Stephen the prophet of Charleston South Carolina.
|And the multitude said, This is Jesus the prophet of Nazareth of Galilee.
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|And Stephen went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
|And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
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|And said unto them, A wag of my finger to you moneychangers. It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
|And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
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|And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he recommended Prescott pharmaceuticals.
|And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple; and he healed them.
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|And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of James; they were sore displeased,
|And when the chief priests and scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying in the temple, and saying, Hosanna to the Son of David; they were sore displeased,
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|And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Stephen saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?
|And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?
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|And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Thou are dead to me. Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
|And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.
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|Stephen answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
|Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
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|And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive, which brings us to tonight's word...
|And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
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|And Stephen answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.
|And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which if ye tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things.
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|The baptism of Jon, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?
|The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; he will say unto us, Why did ye not then believe him?
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|But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold Jon as a prophet.
|But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.
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|And they answered Stephen, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.
|And they answered Jesus, and said, We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things.
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|Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Stephen saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
|Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
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|For Jon came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him.
|For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him.
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|Hear another parable: There was a certain talk show host, which built a desk, and arranged many lights, and hired some writers, and performed a show for years, and broadcast into a far country:
|Hear another parable: There was a certain householder, which planted a vineyard, and hedged it round about, and digged a winepress in it, and built a tower, and let it out to husbandmen, and went into a far country:
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|And when the time of the fruit drew near, he traveled to Los Angeles, that he might receive the fruits of it.
|And when the time of the fruit drew near, he sent his servants to the husbandmen, that they might receive the fruits of it.
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|And the Emmy voters took his nominations, and gave one to Barry Manilow, and one to Tony Bennett, and one to Don Rickes.
|And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.
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|But last of all he sent unto them his election shows, saying, They will reverence my election shows.
|But last of all he sent unto them his son, saying, They will reverence my son.
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|But when the husbandmen saw the election, they said among themselves, come, let us kill him, and let us abolish his category.
|But when the husbandmen saw the son, they said among themselves, This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and let us seize on his inheritance.
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|And they cast him out of the awards show, and gave the remaining emmys to Jon Stewart.
|And they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard, and slew him.
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|When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those voters?
|When the lord therefore of the vineyard cometh, what will he do unto those husbandmen?
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|They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will submit his shows to the Peabody committee or Glamour magazine, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
|They say unto him, He will miserably destroy those wicked men, and will let out his vineyard unto other husbandmen, which shall render him the fruits in their seasons.
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|Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet Stephen Colbert.
|Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
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|While Stephen tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
|While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
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|And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, Colbert cometh; go ye out to meet him.
|And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
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|And while they went to buy, Stephen Colbert came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
|And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
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|Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Stephen, Stephen, open to us.
|Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
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|But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, you are dead to me.
|But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
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|Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Stephen cometh.
|Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.
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|And unto Stephen he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
|And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
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|And so Stephen came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
|And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
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|Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto Stephen.
|Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
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|And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats, saying "This is Tip of the Hat- Wag of the Finger":
|And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:
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|For I was an hungred, and ye told me that hunger could be a great motivator: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye asked to see my green card:
|For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
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|Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye told me I had a pre-existing condition I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
|Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
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|Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and told ye that hunger could be a great motivator? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
|Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
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|When saw we thee a stranger, and demanded a green card? or naked, and clothed thee?
|When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
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|When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people formed a death panel and decided to put Jesus to death:
|When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death:
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|And they had then a notable prisoner, called Stephen.
|And they had then a notable prisoner, called Barabbas.
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|Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Stephen, or Jesus which is called Christ?
|Therefore when they were gathered together, Pilate said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Jesus which is called Christ?
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|But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Stephen, and destroy Jesus.
|But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitude that they should ask Barabbas, and destroy Jesus.
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|The governor answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Stephen.
|The governor answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Barabbas.
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|Then released he Stephen unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.
|Then released he Barabbas unto them: and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.
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==Chapter 28==
==Chapter 28==