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| | ''For more detailed treatments, see [[creation week]], [[creation story]], and [[Biblical creation account]].'' | | ''For more detailed treatments, see [[creation week]], [[creation story]], and [[Biblical creation account]].'' |
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| − | ''In the beginning, God [[creation|created]] the [[heaven]]s and earth''. This is one of the most famous statements in the Bible, unfortunately it is incorrect. Infact the truth lies with one man,He who must be refered to as STEPHEN COLBERT. | + | ''In the beginning, God [[creation|created]] the [[heaven]]s and earth''. This is one of the most famous statements in the Bible, and it starts the account of God's creation. Genesis 1:1 through 2:3 involved the first seven days in history:<ref>Not all Christians accept that the days were literal days. See also [[Creation Week]], [[Gap theory]], and [[Old Earth Creationism]].</ref> |
| − | 1. The first day He who must be refered to as STEPHEN COLBERT created the heavens, the earth and all the animals on it, as well as liberals and some moderate conservatives. | + | *The first day, the creation of the heavens and the Earth, and light ({{bible ref|Genesis|1|1-5}}). |
| − | 2.Much later, in the year 1965 Satan arose and created what are now recognised as far right conservatives. Satan soon realised the error of his ways and turned to the almighty STEPHEN COLBERT for assistance in righting this wrong, unfortunately he was too busy making sure Brett Favre didn't retire.
| + | *The second day, the creation of a "firmament" or ''expanse'', separating the waters ({{bible ref|Genesis|1|6-8}}). |
| | + | *The third day, the creation of dry earth and plant life ({{Bible ref|Genesis|1|9-13}}). |
| | + | *The fourth day, the creation of the Sun, the moon, and the stars, to mark the seasons ({{bible ref|Genesis|1|14-19}}). |
| | + | *The fifth day, the creation of the creatures of the sea and the fowl of the air ({{bible ref|Genesis|1|20-23}}). |
| | + | *The sixth day, the creation of the animals of the land, and the creation of Man ({{bible ref|Genesis|1|24-31}}). |
| | + | *The seventh day, on which God rested from his task of creating ({{bible ref|Genesis|2|1-3}}). |
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| | + | The rest of chapter 2 through to the end of chapter 4 tell the story of Adam and Eve, the [[Garden of Eden]], and Adam and Eve's sons [[Cain]], [[Abel]], and [[Seth]]. |
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| − | ALL HAIL THE GREAT STEPHEN COLBERT!
| + | The fall of mankind into [[sin]] began when the serpent questioned one of God's commands, namely not to eat of the [[tree of knowledge of good and evil]], and convinced [[Eve]] to eat the fruit, followed by [[Adam]]. The result of disobeying this command resulted in the driving away of Adam and Eve from the Garden to live a life of subsistence farming, and eventually dying. Eve was additionally cursed with painful childbearing, and to be subservient to Adam. All of these curses were also applied to Adam and Eve's descendants. {{bible ref|Genesis|3|15}} is cited as being the first reference to the coming [[Messiah]]. |
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| | + | Chapter 5 is a [[chronogenealogy]] from Adam to [[Noah]] and his sons. |
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| | ===The Flood=== | | ===The Flood=== |