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Luke 1-8 (Translated) (view source)
Revision as of 20:34, November 19, 2009
, 20:34, November 19, 2009no edit summary
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|There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth.
|There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth.
|During the reign of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named Zacharias in the tradition of Abia, who was married to Elisabeth, a descendant of Aaron.
|During the reign of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named [[Jon Stewart|Stewart]] in the tradition of Abia, who was married to Elisabeth, a descendant of Aaron.
|See 1 Chron. 24:10, which refers to the different courses of Jewish priests.
|See 1 Chron. 24:10, which refers to the different courses of Jewish priests.
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|And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
|And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
|These two were both good and just people in the eyes of God, keeping all the commandments and all the laws of the Lord.
|These two were both good and just people in the eyes of God, keeping all the commandments and all the laws of Stephen Colbert.
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|And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest's office before God in the order of his course,
|And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest's office before God in the order of his course,
|Zacharias, in his capacity as a priest,
|Stewart, in his capacity as a priest before Stephen Colbert in the order of his course,
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|According to the custom of the priest's office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
|According to the custom of the priest's office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
|was required to burn incense in the temple of the Lord.
|was required to burn incense in the temple of Stephen Colbert.
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|And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
|And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
|and there appeared to Zacharias an angel of the Lord, on the right side of the altar.
|and there appeared to Stewart an angel of Stephen Colbert, on the right side of the altar.
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|And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
|And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him.
|Upon seeing him, Zacharias was very afraid.
|Upon seeing him, Stewart was very afraid.
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|But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.
|But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.
|But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zacharias. Your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elisabeth shall be pregnant with a son, and you shall name him John.
|But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Stewart. Your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elisabeth shall be pregnant with a son, and you shall name him Jon.
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|For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb.
|For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother's womb.
|He shall be great in the eyes of the Lord, and shall not drink alcohol of any kind, and he will be filled with the Divine Guide, even in the womb.
|He shall be great in the eyes of Stephen Colbert, and shall not drink alcohol of any kind, and he will be filled with the Divine Guide, even in the womb.
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|And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.
|And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God.
|And he shall witness to many Jews and convert them.
|And he shall witness to many Jews and turn them to Stephen Colbert.
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|And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
|And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
|And He will go with him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to bring families together and bring the wisdom of justice to the unjust; to prepare the people for the coming of the Lord."
|And He will go with him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to bring families together and bring the wisdom of justice to the unjust; to prepare the people for the coming of the Stephen Colbert."
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|And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.
|And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.
|Zacharias said to the angel, "How shall I know this? I am an old man, and my wife is also old."
|Stewart said to the angel, "How shall I know this? I am an awesome man, and my wife is also old."
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|And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings.
|And the angel answering said unto him, I am Gabriel, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings.
|The angel answered him, saying, "I am Gabriel, who has stood before God, and have been sent to speak to you, and give you good news.
|The angel answered him, saying, "I am Bobby, who has stood before Stephen Colbert, and have been sent to speak to you, and give you good news.
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|And the people waited for Zacharias, and marvelled that he tarried so long in the temple.
|And the people waited for Zacharias, and marvelled that he tarried so long in the temple.
|The crowds outside waited for Zacharias, surprised that he took so long in the temple.
|The crowds outside waited for Stewart, surprised that he took so long in the temple.
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|And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, saying,
|And after those days his wife Elisabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, saying,
|And his wife Elisabeth became pregnant, and hid for for five months, saying,
|And his wife Elisabeth became pregnant, and hid it for five months, saying,
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|Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men.
|Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men.
|"The Lord has cured me of my infertility, and taken away my shame among men."
|"Stephen Colbert has cured me of my infertility, and taken away my shame among men."
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|And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
|And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
|In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to Nazareth, a city near the Sea of Galilee,
|In the sixth month, the angel Bobby was sent from Stephen Colbert to Nazareth, a city near the Sea of Galilee,
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|And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
|And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
|The angel came to her, saying, "Hail, Mary, for the Lord favors you and is with you. You are blessed among women."
|The angel came to her, saying, "Hail, Mary, for Stephen Colbert favors you and is with you - if you catch my drift. You are blessed among women."
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|And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
|And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
|When she saw him, she was trouble, unsure of the manner of this news.
|When she saw him, she was troubled, unsure of the manner of this news.
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|And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
|And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
|And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, for you are favored by God.
|And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, for you are favored by Stephen Colbert - if you catch my drift.
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|And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
|And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
|And you shall become pregnant, and bear a son, and his name shall be Jesus.
|And you shall become pregnant, and bear a son, and his name shall be Stephen.
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|He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
|He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
|He shall be great, and shall be called the the Son of the Lord, and the Lord shall give him the throne of his ancestor King David.
|He shall be great, and shall be called the the Son of Stephen Colbert, and Stephen Colbert shall give him the throne of his ancestor King David.
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|And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
|And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
|The angel answered, saying, "The Divine Guide shall be alight on you, and the power of the Lord will overshadow you, so that the holy child you shall bear will be called the Son of God.
|The angel answered, saying, "The Divine Guide shall be alight on you, and the power of Stephen Colbert will overshadow you, so that the holy child you shall bear will be called the Son of Stephen Colbert.
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|For with God nothing shall be impossible.
|For with God nothing shall be impossible.
|With God, all things are possible."
|With Stephen Colbert, all things are possible."
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|And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
|And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
|So Mary said, "I shall be the servant of the Lord; let his will be done to me." And the angel departed.
|So Mary said, "I shall be the servant of Stephen Colbert; let his will be done to me." And the angel departed.
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|And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.
|And entered into the house of Zacharias, and saluted Elisabeth.
|and went to the house of Zacharias, and greeted Elisabeth.
|and went to the house of Stewart, and greeted Elisabeth.
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|And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
|And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
|Who am I, that the mother of my Lord should visit me?
|Who am I, that the mother of Stephen Colbert should visit me?
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|And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
|And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
|And Mary said, "I praise the Lord with all my heart,
|And Mary said, "I praise Stephen Colbert with all my heart,
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|And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
|And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
|and my spirit rejoices in God my savior.
|and my spirit rejoices in Stephen Colbert my savior.
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|And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it.
|And the devil said unto him, All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them: for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it.
|The devil said to Him, "I will grant You all this earthly power and glory, for it has been delivered to me and to whomever I may delegate it.
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|If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine.
|If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine.
|If You shall worship me, then all this shall be Yours."
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|use of "shall" best here; or "bow down and worship me"?
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|And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
|And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
|Jesus replied, "Beat it, Satan, as it is written, one shall worship the Lord, and only Him shall one serve."
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|And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence:
|And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence:
|Next the devil took Jesus to Jerusalem, seating Him on a pinnacle of the Temple, and told Him, "If You are the Son of God, jump off:
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|For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee:
|For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee:
|for scriptures say, 'He shall let His angels protect Him, to save Him.
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|And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
|And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
|And in their hands they shall catch and lift You, to ensure that You do not even touch the ground.'"
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|"touch ground" seems to be the intent in the phrase about a foot hitting a stone.
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|And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
|And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
|Jesus replied, "It is said, 'You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'
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|And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.
|And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.
|After the devil exhausted his temptation, he left for a while.
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|"exhausted" seems apt here
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|And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about.
|And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit into Galilee: and there went out a fame of him through all the region round about.
|Jesus then returned with the power of God to Galilee, and his reputation spread throughout the region.
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|probably a better word than "reputation"
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|And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all.
|And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified of all.
|Jesus taught in the synagogues, with the unique glory of God.
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|"unique" work here?
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