Cheese

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Andrew Layton Schlafly, Esquire, (known online as Aschlafly or Assfly) is the owner of Conservapedia. He is currently undefeated in any debate due to his skillful use of the Schlafly Reversal, the Schlafly Rearguard, the Schlafly Slip, Schlafly Statistics and the fact that he can just ban anyone who disagrees with him from his site.


Biography

Childhood

Allegedly born in Alton, Missouri, on 27 April 1961 CE, it was perhaps Andy's misfortune to be born to a remarkable but utterly misguided woman at the peak of her powers.[1] By the time he was eighteen, his mother Phyllis had written nine ill-argued and reactionary tomes, helped bring the Equal Rights Amendment to its knees, been a three-time candidate for Congress, become a twice-weekly syndicated newspaper columnist, and recently enrolled as a full-time law student at Washington University in St. Louis, all while claiming that a woman's place is in the home.[2] Although he faithfully absorbed her values and unreason, he inherited none of her vigor or charisma. The young Andrew was homeschooled until the age of seven.[3] (It has been conjectured that Andy may be suffering from rejoicing in a version of the Œdipus complex, this is unlikely as the words "complex" and "Schlafly" do not sit well together.) There is some evidence to suggest that he later attended Saint Louis Priory School, a private Catholic boys' school, graduating in 1978.[4] His father, lawyer Fred Schlafly, may have encouraged his children to follow him to law school.

Schlafly gets degree, laid

300px

Andy's father, lawyer Fred Schlafly, may have encouraged his children to follow him to law school. However, Andy claims to have graduated from Princeton in 1981 with a bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. Strangely, he has never provided proof of this degree, and his chances of having received one are less than 100 to 1, as less than 1% of the population of the country has a degree in electrical engineering. Remarkably, he could think well enough to earn degrees from respected universities without compromising their reputations. He worked as a device physicist for Intel until 1983 and then moved on to Johns Hopkins University, MD, where he joined the Microelectronics Group of its Applied Physics Laboratory.

He married Catherine Agneta Kosarek at a Roman Catholic ceremony in 1984. Miss Kosarek was a fourth-year medical student at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and also a Princeton graduate.[5] As of 2009, Andy hasn't stated whether he has stopped beating her or not, even when asked repeatedly.[6] His wife successfully mated twice[7] (perhaps even with him, though no one can be sure why) and spawned two more conservative stormtroopers for the cause, Andrew Jr. and little (how could they...) Phyllis Schlafly. While the former is now a proud College-going Republican[8] and Huckabee supporter,[9] the latter is *gasp* an evolutionist![10]

Mr. Schlafly goes to Washington

File:Assfly in bw.JPG
No one would suspect the wearer of this beatific smile!

Schlafly attempted to run for Congress in 1992. In a masterstroke of political timing, Andy decided to spend $84,725 of his own money[11] on his campaign for a seat in the House of Representatives (VA 11), in the same year that Bill Clinton would sweep into the White House on a wave of popular discontent with the Republican incumbent, George H.W. Bush. No fewer than nine Schlaflys blew their god-fearing dollars on this abortive campaign, though most of them to the tune of a decidedly less crazy $1000 each.[12] Only 11% of voters in the Republican primary shared the vision of "Andy Schlafly for Congress" and he finished in a dismal 5th place.[13]

Incidentally, a blog was erected in 2008, proclaiming that Andrew Schlafly was running as a candidate in the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election. Such characters as RobS and Conservative also make appearances on the blog. Sadly, it was nothing but parody.

A drawer full of smoking monkeys

File:Hutz.jpg
Look - he's taking another puff!

Schlafly received his J.D. from Harvard Law School in 1991 and claims to have been awarded a magnum of Laudrup cum for his efforts. He also claims to have taught a course in administrative law as an adjunct professor at Seton Hall Law School. Given the insight and intellectual rigor of his lectures on Conservapedia, his failure to advance further can only be attributed to his growing sense of disgust at the moral vacuum at the heart of liberal academia.

Striding purposefully out of this den of relativistic iniquity, he was admitted to the New York State Bar Association in 1993.[14] There is evidence to suggest that he worked as an associate at Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz, a New York law firm,[15] before moving into private practice.[16] He was later appointed general counsel to the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS), a motley collection of "conservative" quacks, cranks and god-botherers, not to be confused with the infinitely more credible American Medical Association (AMA). Andy had clearly found his niche and, in between filing spurious amicus curiae briefs on behalf of assorted wingnut causes, even found the time to pen such charming documents as Had an abortion? Call an attorney! Classy stuff.

Into the rabbit hole

Andy's conversion to young Earth creationism happened at around the age of 40 (circa 2000 CE). It is not known what caused him to renounce the bountiful fruits of the Enlightenment,[17] but he describes the process as having taken "several years" and as being "based [on] a thorough open-minded application of logic and science". Readers will doubtless be heartened to hear that he found his faith greatly strengthened as a result of this self-inflicted intellectual lobotomy.[18]

Around this time, he also began delivering online lectures for his mother's Eagle Forum "University" (REGISTER TODAY! It's Free). Not content with warping the impressionable homesckooled minds therein, he waded further out into the godless intertubes and formed a successful comedy double act with his mad elder brother Roger on the talk.origins Usenet group. Dubbed "Rogandy," their surreal creationist stylings provoked mirth and disbelief in almost equal measure.

A stroll through Andy's Usenet profile reveals a man adrift from reality and impervious to reason and argument. He made 3280 posts from May 1999 to August 2001, with talk.origins (1168) bearing the brunt of his attention. Gems abound within, including this June 2000 post to k12.chat.teacher where he tries to draw a link between "behavior-modifying prescription drug[s]" and US school shootings. Regular readers of Conservapedia will know that the blame has now been firmly placed at the door of the "atheistic" nature of the institutions themselves. Also worthy of mention is this wonderfully succinct evaluation of the Schlafly debate experience:

"...arguing with Andy is like playing chess with a small child who doesn't know the rules."[19]

Godspeeding now with extreme prejudice, he emerged from the intertubes and began teaching real life classes of homeschooled Jesus-Jugend in 2002. He claims over 120 kills to his credit[20]

File:Kingme.png
(Above image copyright © 2007, Rudis Muiznieks. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 License)

Activities on Conservapedia

Andy utilizes a Word of the Day calendar to find new ways to embarrass himself. His favorite obsessions include deceit, liberal mockery, chivalry and the Parthian shot. He is also clairvoyant, and can tell to within two percentage points the likelihood that someone who disagrees with him on another matter is against school prayer or in favour of abortion. This clairvoyance is ironic as he often promotes users who openly parody his edits before they then kick him in the teeth[21].

In April 2008, Schlafly announced his desire to purge the Bible of its liberal bias. On Christmas Day 2008, he launched a project to "retranslate" the Bible from existing English translations into slightly different English. It seems that, now that he has a couple of years' experience at running God's Wiki, all he wants to do is help out by reverting the "liberal vandalism" in the Bible itself.[22]

Andy and "information"

Template:Cplinks "We have certain principles that we adhere to, and we are up-front about them. Beyond that we welcome the facts." Andrew Schlafly, Esq.

Frustrated in his attempts to insert his religious and political viewpoints into innocent articles at Wikipedia, on or about 2005, Mr. Schlafly decided to start an "encyclopedia" of his own, one that would conform to his strong biases in every way. So, along with a few dozen of his monkeys chained to typewriters homskollar protégés, he founded his heavily-moderated blog, Conservapedia, in November of 2006. It contains about as much useful scientific information as a typical Southern Baptist Convention Revival & Dunkathon.

It also affords him the luxury of being able to define terms into existence, and, when challenged on their legitimacy, insist that others do his research for him, or not complain.[23] His grasp of how information works is exemplified by statements such as: "Well, yes, you are literally correct, but figuratively that [information] reinforces the thesis." [24]

Deceit

File:--librul-- --DECEITS--.JPG
LOL with liberal deceit!

Deceit is Schlafly's favorite word. To him it is synonymous with liberal.[25] Apparently, real conservatives are incapable of any kind of dishonesty, whereas liberals raised in the moral vacuum of public schools resort to deceitful means with depraved abandon.

Cries of "Deceit" are also his main weapon. If you're in the pits of Conservapedia and Schlafly -- or any of the Schlaflettes -- scream "Deceit!" at you, that would equal the screaming of "Witch!" or "Illuminati!" in 15th century Spain in front of Torquemada. You don't stand a chance with maniacs.

Basically, Schlafly makes up crazy lies all the time as a short cut to winning debates. He will usually block whomever is likely to call him on these lies[26] as a matter of convenience, i.e. it allows him the polite fiction that this deceit is true and valid thus shoring up his fragile ego. His fellow groomers Ed Poor and Karajou have also picked up on this technique: "it's easy and fun!"

Along with deceit, Andy has equates liberality with closed-mindedness, imploring people who disagree with him (the vast majority of the earth's population) to "open their minds", for when they do they will surely agree with him. The humour of this is increased exponentially by the fact that Andy, who utterly refuses to accept anything except those portions of Biblical literalism that support his bizarre approach to reality, is perhaps one of the most closed-minded people on the planet.

What's really funny is that Andy himself has done teh deceitz, back when he had a "job".[27]

From footnote #82 of the above link:

“ In a declaration submitted in this proceeding, Schlafly claims that, at the time AT&T suspended AudioText’s service and demanded a security deposit, he was concerned about the risk of “closely held companies” such as AudioText “running up a large bill and then switching carriers,” leaving AT&T “with a substantial uncollectible.” AT&T Ex. 88, Schlafly Decl., at ¶ 14. Schlafly asserts that this “non-payment risk” existed regardless of whether AudioText’s traffic was legitimate, id. at ¶ 18, or whether AudioText itself, or one of its downstream customers, was engaged in “stimulating false traffic over the network through the use of autodialers.” Id. at ¶ 19. This after-the-fact explanation is not corroborated by the contemporaneous record and, in any event, does not support the conclusion that AT&T had reason to believe that its “Customer [AudioText] [was] using LDMTS in violation of Section 2.2.4.B.” of the tariff, that is, “with the intent to avoid the payment” of “[AT&T’s] tariffed charges” at the time AT&T suspended AudioText’s service. AT&T Ex. 58 § 2.9.6; AT&T Ex. 51 § 2.2.4.B. (emphasis added). The scenarios that Schlafly describes, where a closely held corporate customer of AT&T runs up a large bill through legitimate activity, or through the “false stimulation” of traffic by a downstream customer, do not involve situations in which the AT&T customer uses AT&T’s service “with the intent to avoid the payment” of AT&T’s tariffed charges in violation of section 2.2.4.B. of the tariff. ”

See psychological projection

Further accusation of deceit

“ I noticed that you say that one of your favorite articles on your website is the one on “Deceit.” That article begins as follows: “Deceit is the deliberate distortion or denial of the truth with an intent to trick or fool another. Christianity and Judaism teach that deceit is wrong. For example, the Old Testament says, ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.’” You really should think more carefully about what that commandment means before you go around bearing false witness against others. ”

—Professor Lenski

Andy and legal incompetence

Andrew Schlafly claims to be a Harvard educated lawyer; however he seems in many respects to have an extremely loose grasp on basic legal concepts. Examples of his legal incompetence include:

File:More HRL stuff.PNG
Harvard Law Review team photograph from 1990, showing Andrew Schlafly (left side, center row), along with Law Review President and United States President Barack Obama (bottom right). See Conservapedia:Barack Obama comparison
  • His claim that people who vandalize his website (Conservapedia) could be sentenced to up to 10 years in jail under 18 USC § 1030.[28] (see Conservapedia:FBI Incident)
  • Allowing Conservapedia editors to add every random image they find under fair use, whether or not the images are actually so. (See Conservapedia:Conservapiracy)
  • Not realizing that when claiming that Richard Dawkins acquired his position as professor through wrongful means, he is in fact accusing either Dawkins, Oxford University, or both, of criminal behavior.
  • Andy and Conservapedia have a notoriously difficult time understanding slander, libel, and other forms of defamation, and how they work in the actual law.Template:More

Much of his poor grasp of legal concepts and theory is probably related to the fact that he is not and appears to never have been a practising lawyer. An extensive search of legal indexes yield roughly 29 cases that Schlafly has been involved in. Every single one of those was as an amicus curiae filer for the quack mouthpiece Association of American Physicians and Surgeons. Essentially Schlafly's whole legal career appears to be signing his name to court filings that the AAPS makes in cases it has no actual involvement or substantial interest in.

Difficulty with grammar & spelling

File:Andy signature.JPG
Signature.

Mr. Schlafly has tremendous difficulties with the English language, and struggles to write correctly formed sentences using correctly spelled words. A humble clerk with writing problems like his would risk getting the sack for incompetence. In an unfortunate choice of battlefronts, he has made grammar and spelling an essential foundation of his debate against liberals. Some examples of his own postings reveal the thin ice his arguments are based upon:

Aug 10th, 2007

You don't see how sometime can estimate when the truth when someone else conceals it???? Don't ever become a cop, then, or a judge, or a juror, or a teacher, etc. Godspeed [29]

I looked at your contributions today, and found a serious of insertions of the form Citation needed or more obnoxious banners. [30]

July 21st, 2007

I don't pages that link to cp:Deletedpage does show up in random page searches. Do you think they do? [31]

July 13th, 2007 (Should have been statutes)

Criminal States Governing the Internet [32]

February 26th, 2008 (A real gem - while arguing about grammar and word usage)

You're "sources" for that ungrammatical claim... [33]

April 4th, 2008

Childbirth prevents against breast cancer.[34]

May 11, 2008

Conservapedia has long observed that girls are injured in sports at much higher rates than boys, and how liberals denial or downplay it.[35]

May 23, 2008 (This one is priceless)

See if you can learn out to spell "superior". [36]

June 20, 2008

I have to run an errand but want to you everyone know, as I've said before, that it's only productive to discuss something with somebody who has an open mind.[37]

July 1, 2008

Unlike Wikipedia, we respect person's own talk pages. [38]

October 10, 2008

What time is now from where you edit? [39]

Many other examples of his appalling spelling and slipshod grammar exist throughout his blog, and he delights in creating new ones every day.

Among his favorite terms are two that we have elevated to the status of deserving their own articles: Godspeed and "you're clueless!" "Insight" should probably have its own page too, but you can have too much of a good thing.

Faith

Only faith in the Christian God counts. Nothing else is worthy to be called faith.

Mental strength

Andy fails his own test:

"Can you view yourself objectively, admit when you are wrong, and change towards what is advantageous?"

Being able to do this is a sign of mental strength in his opinion.

The cocoa edit

Before he goes to bed Andy likes to "edit" (i.e. wikify a single word or phrase) a random article while sipping his cocoa.

The Sunday sermon

Frequently Andy will return from church on Sunday inspired to write some mindless drivel.

Pwnage

  • In August 2007, a law student trumped Andy's knowledge of law, when Andy tried to baselessly assert that RW had committed copyright violations.
  • For the latter half of 2007, this article was a Google sponsored link from the search phrase, "Andy Schlafly."
  • On 27 March 2008, information provided by RW assisted Princeton For Choice in defeating and embarrassing Schlafly at a "debate," where he tried to link abortion and breast cancer.Cite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag can cut and paste some more content to fluff this section up

Argumentation style

It has been theorized (by one user in particular) that Andy picked up his argumentation or debate style largely from this website. Andy will also use various phrases and ideas to sum up his arguments such as comparing something to a smoker living to 100, stating that 2+2=4, that school prayer would solve everything, that only logic is needed instead of actual proof or that autumn leaves disprove evolution.

Direct access to truth

Andy's conviction that he is always right is summed up best in this Ozy and Millie strip from Sunday, August 27, 2000:

File:Ozy and Millie 20000827.jpg
Copyright D.C. Simpson, used with permission.

People who think Andy smaht

His Mommy, much in the same way that a parent will tell their obese, clubfooted, hydrocephalic daughter that she is pretty.


Praise and respect for Andy

Template:Crickets

Honors

Schlafly was honored by having the old imperial measure of kookery, the Schlafly, named after him. The Schlafly is equal to approximately 2.63 Hovinds.


Gallery of deceitful liberal mockery

These contributions are examples of the well-known tendency of liberals to rely on deceit and mockery when they can't argue their biased points successfully.

Please also enjoy our fine selection of Assfly songs and poetry, and anagrams. Now with added deceit!

  • Puritandy.jpg

    Fun is liberal!

  • Andy dancer.gif

    Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine.

  • Andy mudkip01a.gif

    i herd u liek homskoolerz

  • Schlafly.JPG

    This is Andy when he edits Conservapedia.

  • Andy lazer.png

    IMMA CHARGIN MY GODSPEED!!!!

  • SpookyAndy.jpg

    I can haz beta blocker?

  • Andy Weapon of Gun.jpg

    For defense only! [40]

  • ConservaBorg.png

    Im on ur site drinkn ur coolade!

  • Andypandy.png

    Childhood: Andy Pandy loves playing with all the boys and girls.

  • Magic ASchlafly.png
  • AndyEyes.jpg
  • Andy-psycho-poster.jpg

    ...sick brilliant...

  • Fort CP.PNG

    Andy fighting the liberal scum from his comfortable fortress.

  • Schlafly in trance.JPG

    Schlafly, detecting liberals.

  • SailorAndy.jpg

    Young Andy, guided by the hand of Christ.

  • Christianoppresion.gif

    This is his persecution complex.

  • Andy hippie.jpg

    Teh wild, sinful days of teh Assfly.

  • Homezkoolers at Andy's home.jpg

    Homezkoolers at Andy's home.

  • Captain Andrew Schlafly.jpg

    Captain Schlafly and his cronies, prepared for a copy/paste fest!!!

  • Wafd al-Chl'resny.jpg

    Wafd al-Chl'resny, Schlafly's Muslim alter ego.

  • AndyToad.gif

    Open your mind. Welcome.

  • Drawing Andy.jpg

    Joaquín Martínez sketches a portrait of his master.

  • Mr bean.jpg

    The face, the hair, the voice, the brains... it's uncanny.

  • Andy and chick.jpg

    Rejected Conservapedia promotion.

  • Lol Assfly.JPG

    No.

  • A Very Assfly Xmas.jpg

    A Very Assfly Xmas

  • Assfly-Bickle.png

    Defensive weapon of YOU LOOKIN' AT ME!?.

  • AndyObama.jpg

    The Harvard Law Review dream-team

  • CheGueschlafly.png

    Long liev teh revolushun!

  • Andrew-two-face-schlafly.jpg

    Andy without makeup.

  • Andy3.jpg

    Just Andy: My own picture, and I release rights to it. Big mistake.

  • Dark helmet.jpg

    Lightspeed is too slow. We need to go at ludicrous GODSPEED!

  • ASchlafly shining.jpg

    "He dawns on them like the morning light, like the sun shining forth on a cloudless morning, like rain that makes grass to sprout from the earth..." - 2 Samuel 23:4

  • Mount Assfly.jpg

    Mount Assfly, the greatest monument in all teh Andylands!

  • Kim Jong Schlafly.jpg

    Kim Jong Schlafly - there can be only one Fearless Leader

"Is there anything good inside of you?
If there is, I really wanna know.
Is there anything
good inside of you?
If there is
I really wanna
know.
Is there anything
good inside of you?
If there is
I really wanna
know, Andy."

Andy - from the Mothers of Invention album, One Size Fits All

Did you know?

So proud!
1417
This Timberwolf has earned 1417 points in Contest 3! (Scoring Error)
8
This Timberwolf has earned 8 points in Contest 3!
  • God has promised Andy that he can break open one of the Seven Seals come Judgement Day. The details are yet to be firmed up with the Lamb, but Andy has his fingers crossed for the sixth and fondly imagines himself tearing it wide open with a fearsome cry of "Godspeed!". He has been known to spill his seed during these daydreams, but God assures him that it's OK if he's only fantasizing about smiting, and hasn't touched his pee-pee in a bad way.
  • Jesus recently told Andy that the Adultress Story was true. Andy explained how, in that case, Jesus had definitely let the side down a little that day. Jesus could find no flaw in Andy's logic.
  • Andy is a big fan of The Clash, but he's not a lover of Goth music of any kind. He's also quite partial to a bit of the Red Hot Chile Peppers.[41]
  • Andy has a real laugh that exceeds his monotone "Ha ha ha". The "Ha ha ha" originated when his "clients" would crack poorly attempted jokes.[42]
  • Andy sounds like Bert from Sesame Street.[43]
  • Andy asserts[44] that "judges laugh at hearsay (and so do we)"[45]
  • This article is now the top-ranked trusworthy Schlafly article on teh internets!
  • That Andy is the reincarnation of the Titan, ?????T??S (Epimetheus, literally "AFTERTHOUGHT").
  • In the Mutants & Masterminds role-playing game, Andy is a Power Level 12 supervillain. His main power is: Godspeed 12 (Extras: Area[Burst], Insidious, Vampiric; Flaws:[46] Homosexual; Range[Touch]; Power Feats: Dimensional[Hell])
  • While (probably) not a member of the KKK or such, Andy's subtle racism is made quite clear by his refusal to recognize that a black person can make any accomplishments without affirmative action. Except perhaps Clarence Thomas. (See cp:Barack Obama)
  • Andy believes that faith is a uniquely Christian concept. (The comment is under section 3.) Members of other religions who believe they have faith are wrong, as is every major dictionary ever published.
  • "Fun, but kind of sad when one realizes the state of mind some live with." Aschlafly self-reflecting at 19:56 on 23 July 2008 (EDT) [1]
  • Andy tried to start his acting career by auditioning in Revenge of the Nerds. However, he was not cast as he insisted that he should play one of the jocks.

Known aliases

  • Teh Assfly - the correct pronunciation of his user account at Conservapedia, "Aschlafly". "Teh" is a nod to Schlafly's difficulties with grammar and spelling; "Assfly" doesn't need further explanation. Sometimes corrupted to "Teh Arsefly".
  • Nanotyrannus
  • Dr. Babyshakes
  • Andypandy
  • Der Führer
  • The Andyman - so-called because, just like the Candyman, Andy shall appear to you in person if you look into a mirror and assert that public schools don't discourage vandalism eleventy million times.
  • Ashfly - dirty little devil
  • Ignatius J. Reilly
  • Lionel Hutz
  • Miguel Sanchez
  • Eternal King, Autocrat, Tireless Benefactor, Supreme Judge and Lawmaker of all the Andylands
  • The Leader
  • The Founder (as put by Ed Poor)
  • The Owner
  • The Stud
  • The Li'l Bastard
  • Andrey Ivanovich Shlavly (?????´? ???´????? ???????)

Top ten things overheard at Andy Schlafly's wedding

10. "Hey Bruce, go easy on the crab puffs"

9. "I asked Liza to pass the butter and she slapped me"

8. "Is that Barry Goldwater sleeping on the sofa?"

7. "Phyllis Schlafly looks so lifelike"

6. "I did check again, sir. There's no 'John Schlafly' on the guest list"

5. "I think Andy is preaching to Mr. Kosarek about the dangers of cake"

4. "The receiving line? It's over there next to the confessionary"

3. "Hi, Catherine, I'm Roger. Could we maybe get together later?"

2. "No Mrs. Schlafly, you're not getting married today"

1. "Honey, why does the cake read 'Andy'?"


Top ten things overheard on The Schlafly's 24th wedding anniversary party

10. "Can we go now?"

9. "How did Ames get in?"

8. "Honey, that cake was supposed to be for both of us"

7. "Ya-hoo! Now fer some hillbilly lovin'"

6. "Stand back -- Roger's gonna do a cannonball into the punch!"

5. "Is it all right if Brian fills in for me tonight?"

4. "Can we wrap this up Andrew? I really should get back to work"

3. "OOOH! Phyllis Schlafly jumped out of the cake"

2. "I don't see your name on the guest list, John"

1. "Run for your lives! It's Fred Schlafly!"

Top ten things overheard at the Schlafly family barbecue

10. "For God's sake Bruce, those dumplings are for everybody!"

9. "It's awfully smoky -- maybe we should move the grill outside"

8. "I wish we were related to Reagan"

7. "Andy's bedroom smells like peanut butter"

6. "Great, Wal-Mart wine!"

5. "What in the hell is Dan Quayle doing here?"

4. "Aw shucks. Phyllis' teeth just landed in my lap."

3. "Whenever there's free food, Roger shows up"

2. "Time for your Metamucil, Andy."

1. "Run for cover! Somebody brought erotic pastries!"


See also

Template:Cp

See also, Conservapedia style!*

* "See Also's may or may not have anything at all to do with the article subject" - TK, Conservapedia sysop[47]

External links

  1. ↑ They f**k you up, your mum and dad.
  2. ↑ "Anti-ERA Evangelist Wins Again", Time Magazine.
  3. ↑ "Feminine Mystique All Her Own", New York Times.
  4. ↑ St Louis Primary School alumni in Wikipedia; later removed on grounds of non-notability.
  5. ↑ The New York Times.
  6. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=prev&oldid=384010 Burned, see here instead.
  7. ↑ As a practicing Roman Catholic, Andy would be forbidden to use any form of contraception. As his wife had demonstrated her fecundity by delivering two offspring, we can only assume that their relationship has continued on a platonic basis ever since, or Andy's 'little swimmers' just aren't up to the task anymore.
  8. ↑ This one.
  9. ↑ LOL OLD CHUCK NORRIS JOKES
  10. ↑ See this comment.
  11. ↑ Campaign contributions.
  12. ↑ Campaign contributions.
  13. ↑ See here.
  14. ↑ See details here.
  15. ↑ See here.
  16. ↑ I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm
  17. ↑ Mid-life crisis?
  18. ↑ Discussed on Conservapedia here.
  19. ↑ The author doffs his cap to a Mr. Richard Carnes on talk.origins, March 15, 2002.
  20. ↑ See his Conservapedia user page.
  21. ↑ See Conservapedia:MexMax
  22. ↑ See this comment
  23. ↑ this version shows it playing out - he promises that he will get some sources... soon...
  24. ↑ Yes, he really typed that, right here.
  25. ↑ 3 uses in two sentences
  26. ↑ Actually, Andy tries to keep his innocent Christian hands clean, and lets his "enforcers" do the blocking
  27. ↑ See footnote 82 on page 10 at this FCC document.
  28. ↑ Conservapedia Mainpage - oldid=24041
  29. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/Talk:Main_Page/archive20#Kevorkian_speaker
  30. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=264521&oldid=264519]
  31. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Conservapedia_talk%3ADeletedpage&diff=243669&oldid=243667
  32. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Internet_Crime&diff=230644&oldid=230627
  33. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Liberal_friendship&diff=prev&oldid=395095
  34. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page&diff=next&oldid=422790 Burned, see here: http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Main_Page/archive54&oldid=429444#Princeton_University
  35. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Conservapedia_insights&diff=next&oldid=451474
  36. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Homeschooling&diff=next&oldid=459252
  37. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Conservapedia_talk:Lenski_dialog&diff=478662&oldid=478660
  38. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:GBrown&diff=next&oldid=485044
  39. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=User_talk:Aschlafly&diff=next&oldid=533587
  40. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Liberal_logic&diff=next&oldid=388253
  41. ↑ Red Hot Chile Peppers
  42. ↑ Source: Too many personal conversations with his son-in-law.
  43. ↑ Andy arguing against HPV on MSNBC (he lowers his voice for TV)[3]
  44. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Richard_Dawkins&diff=next&oldid=330749
  45. ↑ A joke told about hearsay which made the Chief Justice Warren Burger laugh during a dinner conversation with Andrew Schlafly in late 1991.[4]
  46. ↑ Note: these are not flaws from Andy's point of view
  47. ↑ http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Talk:Bill_Clinton&diff=311724&oldid=311714
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