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added a humorous conservative story, starring liberals
*Wikipedia, free the encyclopedia
*Wikipedia, free the encyclopedia
*Wikipedia: I know you think too, but we think better than you
*Wikipedia: I know you think too, but we think better than you
==Where Laboratory Funding Comes From==
A congressman wondered if a genetics testing laboratory was worth funding, so he went to the lab, where they recognized him immediately as a leading Democrat with influence over several votes in the House. They greeted him, and he asked them, in words he imagined to be deceiving and sagacious, "If I gave you a sample of my DNA, what could you do with it?"
"We could insert other genes into it," suggested a scientist.
"So you could give me dinosaur traits, like in ''Jurassic Park''?"
"No, only if you were still made of stem cells. But we could glean all of your traits from the information," he diverted.
"Except gender; that's indeterminate," a PR scientist added hastily.
"Very well," he smiled, prepared to prove them lying, "Here's a hair sample. Prove it."
They took the hair sample and told him they needed to use the PCR machine and run some tests, but they'd be back in a few months.
"Oh, no - don't try that. What can you tell me ''now''?"
The scientist shrewdly placed the hair in the PCR machine.
"Hmmm...our machines tell us that you are about 5'11", 44 years old, brown hair, brown eyes, 78% Caucasian, not that it matters, in good health, heartbeat 120 beats per minute, blood pressure 100/70, adroit in political matters, a keen athlete, good reaction time, with an aptitude for science ... is that true?"
"It ''is''," replied the Congressman, amazed. "You may not know it - but I am quite ad-what, or whatever you said, in political matters. I'm a Congressman, and this work you do is so amazing, I'll have to vote in favor of funding this lab."
==Conservative Riddles and Puzzles==
==Conservative Riddles and Puzzles==