Causes of divorce

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage.

Personality disorders and divorce

See also: Personality disorders and divorce

The abstract for the journal article Personality Disorder Symptoms Are Differentially Related to Divorce Frequency states:

"Divorce is associated with a multitude of outcomes related to health and well-being. Data from a representative community sample (N = 1,241) of St. Louis residents (ages 55–64) were used to examine associations between personality pathology and divorce in late midlife. Symptoms of the 10 DSM–IV personality disorders were assessed with the Structured Interview for DSM–IV Personality and the Multisource Assessment of Personality Pathology (both self and informant versions). Multiple regression analyses showed Paranoia and Histrionic personality disorder symptoms to be consistently and positively associated with number of divorces across all three sources of personality assessment. Conversely, Avoidant personality disorder symptoms were negatively associated with number of divorces. The present paper provides new information about the relationship between divorce and personality pathology at a developmental stage that is understudied in both domains."

Alarmed at high rates of divorce within the Christian community, the Family Research Council tried to reverse that trend. They found that 85 percent of Christian couples either had no premarital counseling or only met once with their pastor. Considering this to be unacceptable, they put together programs that require a minimum of 4 months premarital preparation including the taking of a premarital inventory and meeting with mentor couples. This caused divorce rates to drop by 30% to 50% for those couples who adhered to the program.

Narcissism and divorce

See also: Narcissism and divorce

Narcissism is excessive love of oneself.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) entails behaviors and attitudes that are designed to preserve a self-image of perfection, entitlement, and superiority.

According the Cleveland Clinic:

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Experts aren’t sure how common NPD is. According to research data, between 0.5% and 5% of people in the U.S. may have it. Between 50% and 75% of cases affect men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB). However, many people hide narcissistic beliefs or behaviors (informally known as “covert narcissism”). Because of that, it’s hard to estimate how many people truly have NPD.

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NPD often goes undiagnosed because many people with the condition are reluctant they have issues with narcissism because they think that their problems associated with the condition are all about everyone else and not about them Due to what they they perceive as insults to self-esteem, it is often difficult for NPD patients to accept and follow through with treatment.

A codependent personality is someone who is people pleaser in an unhealthy way due to factors such as low self-worth, fear of rejection and fear of not being in a romantic relationship. The Psychcentral.com article The Give and Take Between Narcissistic and Codependent Personalities indicates: "There is often an attraction between individuals with codependent tendencies and those with narcissistic tendencies. This pair may connect for a variety of reasons, including the mutual need to feel needed. The codependent person tends to give continuously, while the narcissistic person tends to take. These two personalities have a lot in common, but their differences can make their relationship unhealthy or even toxic.

Narcissism and invididuals who have multiple divorces

See also: Narcissism and individuals who have had multiple divorces and Narcissistic personality disorder and Narcissistic rage and Narcissism

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

The abstract for journal article Personality characteristics of Divorce-Prone individuals: A preliminary clinical study published in the journal Contemporary Family Therapy indicates:

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This study focuses on Divorce-Prone individuals and the question of why some persons fail in one marriage after another. The authors studied 12 individuals who had each been divorced two or more times. They found that the cases fell into one of three broad and overlapping groups. The groups have been called the Self-Involved Narcissists, the Compliant Depressed, and the Casualties of Life's Vicissitudes. The individuals and the groups demonstrate a different etiology, different treatment problems, and a very different prognosis.

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According to the psychologist Holly Parker who teaches the course "The Psychology of Close Relationships" at Harvard University, "Research does suggest that people who marry multiple times are more likely (than people who do not marry multiple times) to have personality traits and issues with emotional health that make it difficult to maintain satisfying, long-term relationships. That can mean, even if you're not looking for anything lasting, you won't have much fun with a narcissist whose self-absorption and emotional detachment helped end several marriages."

Poor communication/interpersonal skills and divorce

In 2021, Sandra Aponte, MA, RMHCI wrote the article The 4 Communication Styles That Lead To Divorce With 90% Accuracy which indicated:

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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are considered metaphorical figures in the New Testament’s final book of Revelation. Written down by John of Patmos after receiving a vision from God, they detail pestilence, war, famine, and death — kicking off a divine countdown for the end of the world and the Last Judgement. Inspired by the ominous signs of this biblical vision, Dr. John Gottman describes his divorce-predicting research by the same name. More specifically, the communication styles that predicted the end of a relationship with 90% accuracy. His incredible research was completed with the assistance of 3,000 couples — who he followed and studied for over 20 years. As such, he was able to predict which couples would stay together, and which ones would end up divorcing within 6 years of the wedding. The four communication styles were: Criticism: when you attack or criticize the character of your partner Defensiveness: a response to criticism — it is when you come up with excuses and play the victim Contempt: when you make your partner feel worthless through disrespect and non-verbal cues Stonewalling: a response to contempt — it is when you shut down, stop responding to your partner and completely withdraw

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Alcoholism and divorce

See also: Divorce and alcoholism

According to the article The Link Between Alcoholism and Divorce:

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Regarding the correlation between alcoholism and divorce, the real issue seems to arise when only one spouse is the heavy drinker in the marriage. Studies have shown that when one spouse has a drinking problem, the couple is much more likely to divorce. For example, according to a study published in May 2014 in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, researchers from the University of Michigan found that nearly half of the more than 17,000 study participants with a history of alcoholism got a divorce at some point in their lives, while only 30% of the participants who were not affected by serious alcohol problems got a divorce. The consequences of periodic or ongoing excessive drinking can lead to the deterioration of the communication channels, as well as the intimate relationship between the couple. Specific manifestations of such deterioration may include arguments, serious financial problems, acts of infidelity and acts of violence.

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