Essay: 12 things narcissists hate that make them so irritating to so many people

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.^[1]

In my previous essay Why do so many people complain about narcissists?, I cover why so many people complain about narcissists.

What is narcissism? Narcissism is excessive love of oneself. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who resisted the advances of a nymph and was consequently made to fall in love with his own reflection. In psychology, extreme narcissism is a symptom of Narcissistic personality disorder, in which a person overestimates his own abilities and attractiveness, at the expense of concern for the needs and feelings of others.

12 things narcissists hate that make them so irritating to so many people

People with Narcissistic personality disorder have a lot of personal issues.

What narcissists hate makes them irritating to many people and 12 of these things are given below:^[2]^[3]

1. Narcissists must be admired. They require constant, excessive admiration. And when they don't get it, they get very mad - horse throwing mad!

2. Narcissists hate it when people speak factually and logically. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often practice the psychological defense mechanism of denialism.^[4] Because people with narcissism are so in love with themselves, they have a distorted view of the world filled with their narrow pet views/theories/ideologies which they are loathe to admit are wrong. And when people tell them that they are wrong about anything, especially their pet views/theories/ideologies, they get very mad! They tend to read/view informational sources that reinforce their narrow "bubble boy" view of the world and are very ideological/partisan in nature.

Splitting is a psychological defense mechanism that causes individuals to engage in the extreme binary thinking of black-and-white thinking, all-or-nothing thinking and thinking in extremes.^[5] Splitting is a distorted way of thinking in which the positive or negative attributes of a person, thing or event are neither weighed nor are they cohesive.^[6] It occurs commonly in people with narcissistic personality disorder.^[7]^[8]

Due to the psychological defense mechanism of splitting, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often have hyper-idealized or hyper-negative views of people, places and things and become very angry when contrary facts are pointed out. For example, they are more prone to hero-worshipping and when it is pointed out that their heroes have feet of clay, they become very upset and frequently engage in denialism. In addition, due to their sense of self-importance and fragile egos, they often become very resentful towards those who point out facts and evidence that are contrary to their distorted views of reality.

Narcissists will drone on and on with great emotion and hysteria about their "truths" which are not truths at all.

And when people diplomatically tell them "you are certainly entitled to your opinion" or "I'm sorry you feel that way", they get hopping mad because their "truths" are absolute truths!

3. Narcissists hate creativity. Because they have such a narrow vision of the world that is "me, me, me" oriented, they hate creative people who think outside their narrow, self-imposed box of "me oriented fantasy" that is a very distorted view of the world.

4. Narcissists hate authority which makes them disruptive to organizations. Narcissists hate authority because they are so me-oriented and have a thirst for power. See: Toxic gamma males. Keep them out of your life and organizations

5. Narcissists, who are very selfish, hate being told no. And a very firm no causes them to go beserk!

6. Narcissists hate bad consequences related to their actions and being held accountable because they loathe being wrong.

7. Narcissists hate defeats and losing at anything because they are insecure egotists.

8. Narcissists hate correction and public humiliation because that implies they made mistakes.

9. Narcissists hate not having access to someone because they are so inflated with their own sense of self-importance.

10. Narcissists hate 99% of other people. Because narcissists are such selfish, unsufferable people they have few friends. And the friends they do have must admire them. Individuals with strong narcissistic, sociopathic/psychopathic issues deny, project, accuse, and attempt to confuse and/or hurt others.^[9]^[10] Narcissism is a component of a Dark Triad personality.

11. Narcissists hate confident people - especially people who are assertive and call them on their bad behavior or say their foolish pet ideologies/theories are wrong.

12. Narcissists hate change - especially when it's beyond their control. People cease their relationships with narcissists and in the natural course of time their pet views/theories/ideologies are shown to be wrong.