Essay: The power of upgrading your social network and reading excellent works

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The Bible is the bestselling book of all time.[1]

Between 5 to 7 billion Bibles have been published.

Studies in psychology show that social environments strongly influence mental health and success.[2] Being around achievers boosts motivation, enhances creativity, and even improves psychological resilience during challenging times.[3] By choosing and building your social circle wisely, you invest in your personal growth and well-being.[4]

Surrounding yourself with virtuous and positive people is empowering due to its beneficial effects on one's character, beliefs, attitudes, habits, behaviors and general frame of mind.

"Do not be deceived:‘Bad company ruins good morals.’" - The Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 15:33).

“You show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” - John Wooden, American basketball coach

"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." - George Washington

"The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest (people) of the past centuries.” - René Descartes

Previously, I wrote the essay Cut toxic people out of your life and replace them with edifying achievers who inspire you. This is a sequel to that essay.

What is a social network?

A fictional social network diagram

See also: Social network

A social network "refers to a group of individuals who voluntarily interact on the basis of the interest which they profess for an idea, a problem, a product, etc. A social network may be defined as having three principal elements: consciousness of kind, rituals and traditions of the community and the moral responsibility of the individuals it comprises."[5]

Social networking, business networking and connectors in a social network

See also: Business networking and Interpersonal skills and Social intelligence and Social influence and Affability and Friendship

According to Investopedia, "Networking is the exchange of information and ideas among people with a common profession or special interest, usually in an informal social setting."[6] Business networking is networking for business purposes.

In his best-selling book The Tipping Point the author Malcolm Gladwell describes a "connector" as a person who knows an impressive amount of people.[7] According to Gladwell, "There are a small number of people in any group, in any community who knows many more people than the average people knows. They make the phone calls, they are connected to the different worlds and they make a big difference."[8] Connectors, according to Gladwell, are individuals who help to spread information and trends throughout our society.[9]

Amanda Penn writing about Malcolm Gladwell's connectors states: "Connectors are sociable, gregarious, and are naturally skilled at making — and keeping in contact with — friends and acquaintances. The term comes from Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point. We’ll cover the role of Tipping Point‘s connectors in business and why they’re crucial to the spread of ideas, services, and products. The Law of the Few is about the people who spread messages, ideas, or viruses and cause epidemics to tip. These are specific types of people who have the contacts, knowledge, and social skills to effectively spread an idea far and wide."[10]

Social connector, business networking and personal connection skills

Dale Carnegie authored the best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book recommended showing a genuine interest in other people.

Social influence and achievement goals/orientation

See also: Achievement orientation and Goal setting

The abstract for the 2024 journal article Achievement Goals: A Social Influence Cycle published in the journal Annual Review of Psychology indicates:

“ Achievement goals have been defined as the purpose of competence-relevant behavior. In this respect they connect one of the basic human needs, i.e., competence, to one of society's core values, i.e., achievement. We propose to look at achievement goals through the lens of social influence. We review both the influence that cultural, structural, and contextual factors have on achievement goal endorsement and the influence that endorsing achievement goals allows people to have within their social space. The review allows us to propose a circular model of the influence on and of achievement goals: The culture, social structures, and contexts that are typical of a certain society shape the specific environments in which individuals develop their achievement goals, which in turn has an influence on the expression and circulation of these achievement goals into society, in a social influence cycle.[11] ”

Positive social influence and developing more positive thinking

See also: Social influence and Positive thinking and Self-talk

According to ScienceDirect and the International Encyclopedia of Education: Social influence refers to the phenomenon where an individual's behaviors, opinions, or beliefs change as a result of their network ties, often becoming more similar to those with whom they are connected."[12][13] The Royal Society indicates: "Social learning is fundamental to human development, helping individuals adapt to changing circumstances and cooperate in groups. During the formative years of adolescence, the social environment shapes people's socio-cognitive skills needed in adulthood."[14]

According to the Mayo Clinic, surrounding yourself with positive people helps foster positive thinking.[15]

Making one's self-talk employ more positive thinking and employing more constructive/realistic/problem solving/creative thinking is better for one's physical/mental health and increases one's performance at tasks.[16][17][18][19]

According to the Mayo Clinic, "Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst."[20]

The power of upgrading your social network

King Solomon and the Plan for the Temple

In my essay Don't pine for a problem-free life or for "problem child" people to be gone from your life I wrote about how irritations, problems and "problem child" people can develop character in a person.

Recently, I assertively let another person know that I would put up with any rude behavior on their part and since then that person has been fine to deal with. Sometimes you have reasonable people in your life who are under a lot of pressure in their lives and lash out at people who are unrelated to problems they are experiencing in life or they have subject matters that set them off or are best avoided in terms of discussion (Or just delayed being talked about. As wise King Solomon wrote, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." - Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Is it good to surround yourself with good people and eliminate the people of bad character from your life?

The Bible has several verses related to this matter:

  • The Apostle Paul taught: "Do not be deceived:‘Bad company ruins good morals.’" (1 Corinthians 15:33).
  • Titus 3:10-11: "After a first and second admonition, have nothing more to do with anyone who causes divisions, since you know that such a person is perverted and sinful, being self-condemned."
  • In the Christian church, evil/heretical people are excommunicated (Matthew 18:15–18).

Are there many mad and evil people in the world? Wise King Solomon wrote: "Furthermore, the hearts of men are full of evil and madness while they are alive, and afterward they join the dead." - Ecclesiastes 9:3. The prophet Jeremiah declared: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV).

In the classic 1957 war movie The Bridge on the River Kwai, Major Clipton comments on the irrational behavior of the British officer Colonel Nicholson with the words "Madness. Madness.".[21][22] Throughout history there have been a lot of mad and bad leaders. I also remember watching the 1963 movie It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World as a child. And I can attest to the fact that there are quite a few mad people in the world.

My recent experience with upgrading my social network and why you should upgrade your social network

And the icing on the cake is that my pastor is going to put together a "Invite a friend to church handout" based on some information that I received from a friend with excellent character who has done many good works.

This never would have happened if I didn't upgrade my social network.

My recent experience with upgrading my social network:

1. I deepened my friendship with a Christian gentlemen who has a very meritorious life that is filled with good works.

2. I am beginning to be more of a doer when it comes to my Christian faith.

For example, the aforementioned Christian gentlemen encouraged me to share my Christian faith with others and he said to encourage my church to do the same. In addition, he shared a very helpful online article about this matter.

As a result, this past Sunday, I received this email from my pastor:

“ Thank you, for inviting XXX to church yesterday. You made quite an impact on the congregation as several people were talking about who they might invite!

Sorry, I didn’t get to spend much time with XXX, but, perhaps if he comes again I can get to know him.

You provided a great example of what we all can do.

Pastor[23]

”

And the icing on the cake is that the pastor is going to put together a "Invite a friend to church handout" based on some information that I shared with him.

This never would have happened if I didn't upgrade my social network by surrounding myself with excellent people.

3. There are a lot of excellent nonprofits who do excellent work to help their fellow man. I have set up relationships with some nonprofits and I have made a commitment to assist their efforts in a greater way.

The eminent management consultant Peter Drucker was a big believer in nonprofits and encouraged people to even found their own nonprofits.

Drucker wrote in his 2008 book Managing Oneself: "People who manage the second half of their lives may always be a minority. The majority may “retire on the job” and count the years until their actual retirement. But it is this minority, the men and women who see a long working-life expectancy as an opportunity both for themselves and for society, who will become leaders and models.”[24]

Did Moses retire? Did the Apostle John retire? No, they did not! Keep yourself busy doing work related to meritorious nonprofits.

4. This week I am setting ambitious goals related to both my work and personal life and I am setting up some accountability partners to keep me on track. A lot of people in the world are complaining about the economy these days. To quote Joseph P. Kennedy, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."[25]

5. In tough economic times, it pays to have a strong social/business network. Recently, out of the blue, someone wanted to contact a bunch of prospective employers on my behalf. The higher the quality of people you associate with, the more willing they are to refer you to other people because kind and generous people are helpful people.

Why is it important to read and study the Bible?

See also: Bible reading and human flourishing

Articles and videos:

Videos:


The Holy Bible, opened to the Book of Isaiah.

One of the most useful suggestions I received in my life was an admonition to read five chapters of the Bible per day.

Importance of Bible study

See also: Bible study and Bible memorization

Why is regular church attendance so important?

The Lutheran Ascension Church at Augusta Victoria Foundation, Jerusalem

1. The Bible commands it. Hebrews 10:25 declares: "not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

2. Each person in the church has different roles and gifts such as being a pastor, teacher, evangelist or prophet.

The Apostle wrote in his first letter to the Corinthians :

“ For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.

Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member, that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers; then deeds of power, then gifts of healing, forms of assistance, forms of leadership, various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But strive for the greater gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. - 1 Corinthians 12: 12-31[26]

”

3. Attending church is uplifting and is spiritually enlightening.

Recently, I attended a beautiful church that was built in the 1800s with high arched ceilings and large glass windows. Being surrounded by such great beauty is uplifting to the soul. If I got nothing else from attending this church, it still would have been very uplifting and nourishing to my soul.

But of course, there was more. During the service the song "I Got Peace Like a River" was sung by the church. Within that song was the lyrics "I've got love like an ocean in my soul". I said to myself: "Oceans are so immense in size, how can I possibly have so much love in my soul?". And then during the church service's sermon the answer came to me that with God all things are possible and that Christians are co-laborers with God.

Why you should read the great books

33% of high school graduates never read another book the rest of their lives and 42% of college grads never read another book after college.[27]

The British writer, literary scholar, and Christian lay theologian C. S. Lewis wrote: "Every age has its own outlook. It is specially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. We all, therefore, need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period. And that means the old books."[28]

Read the articles:


C. S. Lewis, photographed in 1947.

The great Christian classics book list

List of some of the greatest authors

William Shakespeare

See also: List of the great authors

  • Miguel de Cervantes
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Raise your standards and live a victorious life

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified." - The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
John F. Kennedy demonstrated the fact that when a person or group is dedicated to achieving a difficult goal, it can often be done - especially with the assistance of others.

Watch the video: Charles A. Garfield and Peak Performance (1985) by Charles A. Garfield (Related to insights gathered from the Apollo 11 mission)
Video: Charles A. Garfield and Peak Performance (1985) by Charles A. Garfield (Related to insights gathered from the Apollo 11 mission)

Christian victory songs

General essays about life

User:Conservative's essays

References

  1. ↑ The Bible is the best selling book of all time, Guinness Book of Word Record
  2. ↑ Is it true that studies in psychology show that social environments strongly influence mental health and success. Does being around achievers can boost motivation, enhance creativity, and even improve resilience during challenging times? By choosing your circle wisely, do you invest in your own growth and well-being? Provide any relevant studies on social influence.
  3. ↑ Is it true that studies in psychology show that social environments strongly influence mental health and success. Does being around achievers can boost motivation, enhance creativity, and even improve resilience during challenging times? By choosing your circle wisely, do you invest in your own growth and well-being? Provide any relevant studies on social influence.
  4. ↑ Is it true that studies in psychology show that social environments strongly influence mental health and success. Does being around achievers can boost motivation, enhance creativity, and even improve resilience during challenging times? By choosing your circle wisely, do you invest in your own growth and well-being? Provide any relevant studies on social influence.
  5. ↑ Source Title: Handbook of Research on ICTs for Human-Centered Healthcare and Social Care Services. by Miguel Guinalíu (University of Zaragoza, Spain), Javier Marta (Hospital Universitario Miguel Servet, Spain), and José María Subero (Aragón Government, Spain), Chapter 9 (Social Networks as a Tool to Improve the Life Quality of Chronic Patients and Their Relatives), Page 15
  6. ↑ Networking: What It Is and How to Do It Successfully, Investopedia
  7. ↑ You Know More People Than You Think, ABC News
  8. ↑ You Know More People Than You Think, ABC News
  9. ↑ You Know More People Than You Think, ABC News
  10. ↑ Malcolm Gladwell’s “Connectors”: People Who Spread Ideas by Amanda Penn
  11. ↑ [ Achievement Goals: A Social Influence Cycle by Fabrizio Butera, Benoît Dompnier, Céline Darnon, Annual Review of Psychology, 2024 Jan 18:75:527-554. doi: 10.1146/annurev-psych-013123-102139. Epub 2023 Sep 27
  12. ↑ Social Influence, Science Direct
  13. ↑ International Encyclopedia of Education (Fourth Edition) 2023, Pages 430-440
  14. ↑ Social influence in adolescence as a double-edged sword by Lucas Molleman, Simon Ciranka and Wouter van den Bos. Royal Society Publishing. Published:29 June 2022https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2022.0045
  15. ↑ Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress
  16. ↑ Self-talk
  17. ↑ Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress
  18. ↑ Optimize your self-talk for peak performance, Champ, Uniformed Services University
  19. ↑ The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-Talk by Elizabeth Scott, PhD
  20. ↑ Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress
  21. ↑ ‘MADNESS! MADNESS!’ – 60 YEARS OF THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI
  22. ↑ The Bridge on the River Kwai, Britannica
  23. ↑ An email that User: Conservative received from his pastor (Name of person invited to the church redacted
  24. ↑ Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker, Harvard Business Review Press (January 7, 2008)
  25. ↑ Joseph P. Kennedy quote, Brainy Quote website
  26. ↑ 1 Corinthians 12: 12-31 NRSV
  27. ↑ Sobering Statistics About Readers Today
  28. ↑ Why Study the Great Books?
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