Perfectionism

Common refrain relating to perfectionism

Perfectionism, in psychology, is often defined as the need to be or appear to be perfect to ourselves or others or to falsely believe that it's possible to achieve perfection in situations where it's unrealistic to do so.

Symptoms/behaviors related to maladaptive perfectionism

Symptoms/behaviors related to maladaptive perfectionism:

- Unrealistic quality standards on what you or others can do in terms of quality of output

- Procrastinating due to fear of not meeting standards. See: Fear of failure

- Performance anxiety (Anxiety related to not being able to perform well)

- Plagued by self-doubt

- Avoidance/escapism (Avoidance behaviors are behaviors where individuals either do not enter a situation due to fear of not meeting standards. Escapism is when an individual leaves situations after they have entered them.)

- Excessive reassurance seeking

Procrastinating is a sign/symptom commonly associated with perfectionism.

- Overcompensating (Performing a behavior excessively to try to make sure nothing goes wrong)

- Repetitive and/or excessive correcting/checking to make sure perfectionistic standards are met

- Performance of a task or tasks in terms of quality defines your self-worth/self-esteem. A growth mindset looks for progress and not perfection.

- Excessive organizing and list-making

- Difficulty making decisions

- Giving up too soon

- Not knowing when to stop

- Poorly reacts to criticism

- Failure to delegate due to fear of others not meeting overly perfectionistic standards

- Inability to celebrate accomplishments or success in general

Causes of maladaptive perfectionism

A Venn diagram showing the relationship between self-concept, self-efficacy, and self-esteem.

Matt Plummer, founder of Zarvana, the online coaching service that helps workers be more productive, indicates: "A lot of perfectionistic tendencies are rooted in fear and insecurity. Many perfectionists worry that if they let go of their [meticulousness and conscientiousness], it will hurt their performance and standing.”

Specific causes of maladaptive perfectionism include:

• Low self-worth/self-esteem

• Lack of a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset see unsuccessful attempts/effort as part of learning process and not unforgiveable errors.

• Individuals with perfectionism, often focus too much on the eventual outcome rather than the on the process involved in achieving an outcome. When producing things trial and error is often part of the process.

• Excessive self-criticism. Tendency to beat oneself when high expectations are unmet. See: Self-esteem and Self-concept and Self-talk

• Fear of being criticized by others. Excessive people-pleasing orientation.

• Overly critical of others

• All or nothing thinking

• Unrealistic goals. Greater perfection often takes time and is a process. See: Goal setting

• Excessive need for control

• Fear of failure. Procrastinators are more likely to engage in perfectionism which is often tied to their fear of failure.

• Overcompetitiveness. Results must be better than others.

• Excess results orientation along with a failure to realize that attaining perfection is a process that takes time.

• Individuals with the Jonah complex often suffer from perfectionism.

• Individuals with track record of high achievement sometimes have strong or overwhelming personal or pressure from others to live up to their previous accomplishment. See: Achievement orientation

• Research indicates that: "Grandiose narcissists demand perfection from others and promote a "perfect' image. Vulnerable narcissists defensively conceal their perceived flaws from others."

• Childhood trauma or lack of parental support

Children adopting maladaptive perfectionism: Fixed mindset vs. a growth mindset

Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS, Ed, FAAP wrote:

“

Grow a growth mindset. Research shows how praise and criticism can lead to a "fixed mindset," rather than a healthier "growth mindset." For example: Children praised for being smart are more likely to grow to fear being seen as anything else, while those noticed for effort develop a passion for growth. Young people with a growth mindset believe their intelligence can be developed with effort. When they don't do something as well as they hoped, they don't see themselves as failures, but as learners. In contrast, people with a fixed mindset (including perfectionists) may believe people are either smart or not, and that failure proves you're not. They may even believe that having to work hard at something suggests a lack of natural intelligence. People with a growth mindset feel successful when they can do something they couldn't do before, whereas those with fixed mindsets feel smart when they avoid errors. To help your child build a growth mindset, praise the effort, rather than the product. For example, instead of saying, "I just expect you to do your best," say something like: "All I expect is for you to put in a good effort. I care less about your grades and more about the fact that you are learning," or "Some things come easily to me, and with even a little effort, I will always do well. In other subjects, I might work really hard and still not do as well as I wish I could. But all I want from you is to stretch yourself and learn."

”

Treating/solving perfectionism

The five components of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Ways of treating/solving perfectionism include:

- Have realistic goals of what you can accomplish. List the pros/cons and consequences of being perfect in various endeavors

- Challenge/ignore overly critical thoughts/behaviors and all-or-nothing thinking. See: Attitude and Self-concept and Self-esteem and Self-talk

- Set time limits for tasks/projects. Develop better time management skills.

- Learn how to deal with criticism in terms of how it affects you and how to deal with criticism from others. See: Interpersonal skills

- Improve your emotional intelligence

- Don't fear mistakes or failure. Have a growth mindset and realize that learners make mistakes on the way to better performance and/or success.

- Throw away overly rigid/unrealistic rules (Overly repetitive checking of emails in terms of proofreading such as I must check my email compositions five times before sending them out)

- Focus on the big picture and not a small on a small part of a task/project

- Relax and practice various means of stress management. See also: Self-regulation

See also

• Perfect-solution fallacy
• Nirvana fallacy
• Idealism

External links

• Understanding the Psychology Behind Perfectionism
• Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits by Elizabeth Scott, PhD
• Perfectionism
• How to Manage Your Perfectionism, Harvard Business Review
• Seeking Perfection – BBC Science and Nature

Videos:

• Perfectionism - video playlist