Difference between revisions of "Glenn Beck"

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[[Image:Beck Glenn Fox.jpg|right|200px]]
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[[Image:GlennBeckRaped.jpg‎|thumb|It doesn't have to be true, just keep [http://gb1990.com/ repeating it] until everyone agrees ]]
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'''Glenn Beck''' is a [[conservative]] talk-radio host and television anchor employed by [[Fox News]].<ref> [http://www.newsmax.com/insidecover/tv_fox_beck_cnn/2008/10/16/141295.html Glenn Beck Leaving CNN for Fox News] AP, October 16, 2008</ref> 
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[[Image:Cartman_11-12b.jpg|thumb|[http://www.mediaite.com/tv/cartmans-glenn-beck-finds-socialist-regime-at-south-park-elementary/ Glenn Beck makes a guest appearance on South Park]]]
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His radio show, The Glenn Beck Program, is syndicated by over 230 radio stations across the [[United States]]. His television show, Glenn Beck, appeared daily on [[CNN]] Headline News, before he switched to FOX, during the 6:00 p.m. hour (EDT).  
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[[File:Mad hatter beck.jpg|thumb|Glenn Beck is the Mad Hatter of Fox News' [[Tea Party]]]]
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'''Glenn Beck (who raped and murdered a girl in 1990)''' is a drunk, homosexual, batshit crazy [[Muslim]] as well as an inept tv and radio host.  He has [[ADHD]], which you would never know by watching his program.  Cough...
  
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Beck is the author of five books, including ''The Real America: Messages from the Heart and Heartland'' and three #1 New York Times Bestsellers, ''An Inconvenient Book: Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems,'' ''The Christmas Sweater,'' ''Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government,'' and most recently ''Arguing With Idiots.''
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Glenn Beck is often assumed to be a real person but he is, in fact, a character conceived of and portrayed by Alfred [http://alfredpeachous.com/ Peachous], a well-regarded Canadian satirical theater actor.
  
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Beck is a [[Mormon]], having converted after recovering from [[alcoholism]].<ref>Glenn Beck. (2008). An Unlikely Mormon: The Conversion Story of Glenn Beck [DVD]. Deserest Book.</ref>
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Because of his homosexual obsession with [[Bill O'Reilly|Papa Bear O'Reilly]], Glenn Beck frequently appears on the latter's show to rant and rave incoherently for the [[lulz|unintentional amusement]] of millions of viewers, never guessing his idol and [[yaoi|one true love]] O'Reilly is a sadist who just loves it when Glenn makes a total ass out of himself to boost ''The O'Reilly Factor'''s ratings.
  
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== Earnings and Book Deal ==
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Once thought to be merely masquerading as a [[Libertarian]] bitching about government and raves about statism, often flying into epic fits of megalomaniac premenstrual failure that would make even [[Inmendham]] blush.
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[http://www.businessinsider.com BusinessInsider.com] estimated Beck will make $18 million in 2009<ref>[http://www.businessinsider.com/the-empire-of-glenn-beck-slideshow-2009-4 Glenn Beck's Cash Machine]</ref> Now with the signing of his new book deal with [[Simon & Schuster]], he will be given a larger share in the profits of each book, as well as increased creative control.<ref>[http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124138941245781353.html Wall St. Journal; New Deal Gives Beck Share in Book Profits]</ref>
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==Liberal attempts to silence Beck==
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Beck frequently likes to draw incoherant, often misspelled charts on blackboards to pretend that he's a college professor, despite the fact that he never went to college and is an uneducated retard.  Naturally his audience, primarily comprised of simple-minded motherers who spend their days playing with the shunts in their heads, cheerleading the relentless onslaught of the corporate hegemon which will eat them first, and staring at colours and shapes, are too ing retarded and lazy to go on the internet and research facts, so they just take his word on anything and everything. None of his opinions make even the slightest shred of sense or even come across as [[ENGLISH MOTHERER DO YOU SPEAK IT|anything other]] than [[Moonspeak]], although he (like so many other failures at life) has a legion of [[fangirls]], mostly evangelical christian retards, who hang on his every unintelligible word.
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Liberal activism groups attempted to silence Beck by pushing his advertisers to abandon his program, after he alleged that [[Barack Obama]] is [[racism|racist]] against white people, and that he [[hate|hates]] white culture. This prompted "RedState" to defend Beck and call for a boycott of the advertisers on his show who were hoodwinked into boycotting it by the liberal elite.
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The publicity over the attempts on Beck's popularity achieved a result that the liberals cannot have intended: Beck was featured on the cover of [[Time]] magazine, and in a final insult to liberal pride; he is depicted sticking his tongue out at the reader. Beck, however, was less than pleased with the Time cover: He stated that ''Time'' ought to have featured the large crowds attending the [[September 12 March on Washington]] and not him on its cover.
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Glenn is a professional , as is everyone on every cable news station, and while this means he should be generating [[lulz]] by [[pwn|pwning]] others, he more frequently  pwns himself, as on his February 28, 2007 show, when he [[I came|came on]] to ''US Weekly'''s Dina Sansing during their discussion about nude photos of some ''[[American Idol]]''  face. He has [http://mediamatters.org/items/200611150004 accused] the USA's first elected [[Muslim]] Congressman, Keith Ellison, of being an [[Al Qaeda]] operative simply because he is Muslim, and once called [[Rosie O'Donnell]] a [http://mediamatters.org/items/200703220010 "fat witch"]. Although [[true]], both of these statements were still uncalled for because they originated from such a moronic jackass.
  
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== Known favorite associations ==
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Even exponentially more lulzy was his recent attempt to seem like he has actual feelings by crying on the air when speaking of how much he loves his country, which some have said was just an act, although [[Stephen Colbert]] insists it was real, because someone on cable news has to recognize just what an idiotic boob Glenn Beck really is.
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Beck frequently has Judge [[Andrew Napolitano]] appear as a guest on his program. Judge Napolitano has even hosted the Glenn Beck show himself when Mr. Beck was on assignment.
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== 9/12 Project ==
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[[TL;DR|TL;DR]]: Dude is pretty much a [[Nazi|Nazi]] '''who raped and murdered a girl in 1990''' (see below).  
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In 2009, Beck launched the 9/12 project, a project aimed at recovering America's Christian founding values, closely allied with the [[Tea Party Movement]].  On September 12, 2009 (9/12), a massive Taxpayer March on Washington was accomplished, with hundreds of thousands of attendees, and was roundly censored by the [[liberal media]].
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===The Project's 9 Principles, 12 Values===
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==Typical Beck==
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[[File:GlenBeck197979797get.jpg|thumb|A 97979797 get determines that Glen Beck is in fact a wanker.]]
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<center>{{fv|id|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>CHpe2fapREA</youtube>|<youtube>wGM3eMMYWos</youtube>|<youtube>sRohgYwzRMU</youtube>@23:27}}</center>
  
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The 9 Principles:
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==Choice Quotes==
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# America Is Good.
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Glenn Beck is positively [[DOUBLE NIGGER|chock full]] of weird, wacky, and just plain [[facepalm|god-ing-awful]] soundbytes he's spouted over the years. Here's a sampling:
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# I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
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# I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
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# The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
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# If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
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# I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
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# I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
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# It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
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# The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
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The 12 Values:  
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<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|beckquote|background-color: White; width: 500px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
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Honesty, Reverence, Hope, Thrift, Humility, Charity, Sincerity, Moderation, Hard Work, Courage, Personal Responsibility, Gratitude
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|Now, I'm no expert...|Glenn Beck's personal slogan.
  
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==See Also==
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|Get off my phone!  Get off my phone, you little pinhead!  I don't care?  'You people don't care about the trillions of...' [[UNLEASH THE ING FURY|GET OFF MY PHONE!]] I'm gonna lose my mind today!|
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* [[Fox News]]
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* [http://www.glennbeck.com/home/index.shtml Glenn Beck's personal site]
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* [http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Nov09/0,4670,APonTVPostElection,00.html Glenn Beck jumps from CNN to [[Fox News]]]
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==External References==
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|[[Cindy Sheehan]] is a tragedy slut.|Stating the obvious in the worst way possible, August 15th, 2005.
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[http://www.the912project.com/ 9/12 Project website]
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{{Conservatism}}
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|[[Al Gore]]'s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization.|Intelligently discussing [[Global Warming|carbon emissions]].
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|You know what you’ve done? You are an insult to George Washington, sir!|Beating out every stupid thing he has ever said [http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/encounter/55857/ in his own pathetic life].
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|[[BAWWW|WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!]]|Every single show, without fail.}}|color=White}}
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</center>
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==The 1990 [[rape]] accusations==
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[[Image:Hitler_glenn_beck_and_oj_simpson.jpg|thumb|[[OJ Simpson]] got nathan on Glenn Beck.]]
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Recent information has surfaced that has linked Beck to a string of rape-murders back in 1990.
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The controversial talk host would not comment on the accusations that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 while consuming alcohol and cocaine in great amounts. It was demanded Beck release his sealed criminal record, but has since failed to do so.
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In light of these accusations, the 19/90 project was born, determined to get the info out and get Glenn Beck to release his sealed criminal record. The accusations were so credible, that all of the Glenn Beck Show's sponsors [http://www.marketwatch.com/story/advertisers-deserting-fox-news-glenn-beck-2009-08-14 pulled their ads] leaving him without a single advertiser and losing $600,000 in lost revenue each week.
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In response to the [http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/ glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com] site (now known as http://gb1990.com/) exposing the facts as we know them, Glenn Beck got his [[Lawyer|bobblehead friends]] to file a [[Copyright_infringement|copyright]]/trademark/[[Bawwwww|Bawwwww]] [http://www.scribd.com/doc/19522393/Complaint complaint] asserting he was way too cool to be subject to such [[satire]], resulting in much wider exposure of his controversial past.
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===RAPE WAS THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE ME===
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May 10, 1990, 11 year old Robin Cornell and her 32 year old babysitter, Lisa Storey were found beaten, raped, and smothered to death in Cape Coral, Florida. Police are now interviewing local detectives to re-open the case, but if they don't find any new leads by the end of the year it will be closed. They are also looking into airing an episode on Americas Most Wanted. This town desperately needs your help in solving this case.
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Beck was also linked to the rape and murder of seven-year old Margaret Shrader in Harris County, Texas in 1990.
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The story has hit the media:
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http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-323336
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===Take Action===
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Here's what you do:
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#Post the info ING EVERYWHERE!
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#Set links to other sites (so google can index it)
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#???
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#Profit
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Go [[youtube]] on his ass:
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:1: Download this vid http://rapidshare.com/files/273665044/glennbeckisdead.m4v
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:2: Post on YouTube, naming it Glenn Beck - In loving Memory
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:3: ?
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:4: Break even.
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====Contact Glenn Beck====
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Please fill out this form and contact Beck[[mailto:glennbeck@foxnews.com]] to come clean about what REALLY happened in 1990 and whether he raped and killed a young girl.
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<!-- I dont understand why people use <pre> in all the wrong ways -->
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{| class="wikitable" border="1"
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|- style="width:75%; height:200px" border="1"
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| I, (insert name), am formally asking you to refute the claim that you viciously raped and murdered a girl in 1990. I have yet to see solid evidence for these claims, but I also have not seen you come out to dismiss them.
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I am concerned, for if this is true, I do not think you should be on the air. Please, I ask you to come out about this and dismiss these allegations on your show, as the Internet is buzzing about this horrible act, that I HOPE is not true.
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I look forward to seeing this dismissed on an upcoming show. Thank you.
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|-
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|}
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===glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com===
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{{tinyquote|The disclaimer accordingly explains the thrust of the website’s joke in terms that '''should be understandable, even by morons in a hurry'''. But this bears only on the issue of whether the parody is funny, not on its legitimacy as nominative fair use.|http://gb1990.com}}
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[[Image:Glenn_beck_rape_and_murder.png|thumb|300px|[[Lolsuit]] denied]]
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In late 2009 Glenn Beck took '''glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com''''s owner [[lolsuit|to court]] for deflamation and [[attention whore|'brand name']] intellectual property infringement, arguing that [[derp|hapless]] web surfers would confuse glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com as an official Glenn Beck site. This pathetic attempt to censor the Internets and whitewash the evidence against Beck as a rapist and murderer ultimately went to arbitration where his motion was [http://gb1990.net/legal/solution/WIPO/Decision%20D2009-1182.doc DENIED!] by the WORLD INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY ORGANIZATION ARBITRATION AND MEDIATION CENTER ( [[forced meme|aka NAMBLA]] ).
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However, the altruistic folks at glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com decided to make a gift of the domain name to crybaby Beck and set up a mirror site at DidGlennBeckRapeAndMurderAYoungGirlIn1990.com (aka http://gb1990.com/).
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===Radio-Show trolling===
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This audio clip of him being [[troll|accused of being a murderer]] on his[/Image:Beckradio090902.mp3 radio show]. Unfortunately, the clip is not very lulzy.
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Theres a [[shit|site]] where people can spread this [http://gb1990.com rumor] and a [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=111216842254 Facebook group] for [[ party|coordination]]
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==Gallery of Rape==
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{{cg|Gallery|beck1|center|<gallery>
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Image:Glennbeckraep.jpg| He IS gonna rape you.
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Image:Einsteinlackofproof.jpg| Einstein's prophetic equation foretold the Beck rape saga.
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Image:Glennbeckraep2.jpg| Beck admitting to the rape.
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Image:1990.JPG‎| Damning Evidence
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Image:Mtherforciblychurchsign.jpg‎| Everyone wants to know, even God.
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Image:Raepchange.png| Rape, we can believe in.
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Image:Raepgraph.png| SCIENCE! Weighs in - Beck projected to rape even MORE next year.
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Image:Beckrapebumpersticker.jpg‎| Its 1990 girl, have you been raped by Glenn Beck yet?
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</gallery>|<gallery>
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Image:B-b-b-ut she said yes.jpg|Negras are hard to understand, amirite?
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Image:WOFguesswho.jpg‎| Why does Vanna White look so scared?
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Image:1990project.png| The 19/90 Project - Get the info out!
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Image:Comecleanglenn.jpg|[[mailto:glennbeck@foxnews.com|Contact]] Glenn Beck to come clean!
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Image:Police report.png|The police report.
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Image:1990rapepics.jpg|"I did it for the lulz"
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Image:Glennbeckmugshot.jpg|Mugshot of Glenn Beck after being arrested on charges of raping and murdering a young girl in 1990.
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Image:Gbmurder.jpg|Glenn Beck in action!
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Image:Murderrape.jpg| Glenn Beck showing us the tools of the trade.
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Image:Gbwormer.jpg| Dean Wormer telling it like it is.
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Image:Boxofrape.jpg| Oh, Goody! My shipment has arrived!
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Image:Gbwanted.jpg| He truly is history's greatest monster!
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Image:Warninglabel.jpg| Achtung! Achtung! Der Vergewaltiger ist los!
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Image:Gbjustice.jpg| Glenn Beck raping and murdering Lady Justice!
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Image:GlennBeckCocksucker.gif|INVISIBLE PENIS
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</gallery>}}
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==Glenn Beck's Life So Far==
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[[Image:pricelessfiles.jpg|thumb|right|300px|Glenn Beck protects his [[CP|priceless files]]]]
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The great tragedy of Glenn Beck's life (and even more so of ours) is that his mother killed herself after giving birth to him instead of before. Legend has it that he drove her to consume [[at least 100|entire bottles]] of pills just by talking to her at the dinner table one night.
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Following this delicious swig of human tragedy, Glenn became a shit-faced [[drunk]] and a serial fondler of fat women, admitting later that he did this because the fat women reminded him of his mother, whom he'd always wanted to have [[OH GOD BILL|meaty, sweaty sex]] with. Mama Beck had been morbidly obese as a result of all of the heavy drinking and compulsive eating she had done three years after giving birth to Glenn when he first began to speak and she realized what a raging asshole had come out of her [[pussy]].
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After years of drinking and fondling and crying like a bleeding vagina, and a brief period in the 80's where he got heavily into [[cocaine]], sucking dicks made of used syringes in dumpsters full of bloody diapers filled with razor blades, as well as underage Arab boy-whores, he finally found [[Jesus]], who appeared to him in the form of [[Ronald Reagan]], offering Glenn his own radio show in exchange for his first-born child and two hours of [[analingus]] every Sunday.  Little did Glenn know that Reagen also was a [[Basement_dad|rapist]] who had 10 sessions a day of BDSM with Beck's daughter, causing her [[retard|cerebral palsy]], proving that Glenn Beck can't do anything right, including how to make a baby.
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And we will never forget that '''Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990.''' ('''Though there are some who believe that he murdered THEN raped a girl in 1990'''). It is generally believed that the girl was Gilbert Gottfried's daughter, though others contend it was Bob Saget's. Either way, it is known that '''Glenn Beck both raped and murdered a girl in 1990'''.
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Glenn often claims to be [[Mormon]], but this is only because he wants a life of polygamy, [[incest]] and [[CP|underage poontang]]. He consistently maintains all people from [[Africa]] (including American [[nigra|black people]]) lack souls and go straight to Hell when they die, as all Mormons do. Occasionally he still [[Chris Hansen|trolls for boy cock]] on the [[Internet]], even though this often causes the ghost of Reagan to become insanely jealous to the point where he sometimes "forgets" to wipe his ass before "church".
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<center><youtube>bX1rLv_hNeI</youtube></center>
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==People Who Like Glenn Beck==
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Besides being far and few between, people who like Beck are often very much just like him. They often masquerade as people who seem to know what they're talking about, when in fact they have no idea what the hell is going on.
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{{quote|Personally, though, I like the guy. I don't get to listen to him that often b/c he's on while I'm at work, but I did catch a little of his show today. He was saying that people should check the facts on the shows they watch and not just become mindless zombies who take what the media says as gospel. I like that.|Some Woman, not taking Beck's advice}}
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Novel idea Beck. But if people did that, they would "check the facts" on your show and realize...
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Oh shit, there aren't any.
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===[[Colbert]]===
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{{quote|The 9/12 project is not for families directly affected by 9/11, just people building their careers on it.|Stephen Colbert}}
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Beck's only true [[fanboi]] is [[Stephen Colbert]]. So moved by Beck's [[9/12]] project, Colbert was inspired to [[troll|pay tribute]] and promote it on his own show.
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<video type="comedycentral" id="223279" width='330' height='325' id=223279 desc="[[Halloween|The 10/31 Project]] - Despite what it says, the vidya ''is'' available. [[DO IT FAGGOT]]!" frame="true" position="center"/>
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==Beck VS Ron Paul/Libertarians/Randroids etc etc==
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<center><youtube>Eg8M2JBIoqo</youtube></center>
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On November 12th, 2007, Glenn Beck implied that any person who supports [[Ron Paul]] is a [[terrorist]] -- even though Ron Paul is ''not'' a terrorist, merely a failure, and the shortest man ever born in [[Texas]]. The real amusement comes from the fact that these are probably now the two most popular [[Conservatives| Conservatives]] in America, and they obviously hate each other, as each is so helplessly wrapped up in his own ego that he cannot even see that he is [[pissing]] on his own party. Even more outrageous is the [[fact]] that they are both secretly [[Jews]] and therefore responsible for [[9/11]], the derangement of modern media and the [[bailout plan|current economic crisis]], which is really just an attempt to deflate all the world's currency and thereby increase the value of the precious [[Jew Gold]].
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==The 9-12 Project==
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What Beck considers his greatest achievement (that is to say, his greatest failure), is his "9-12 Project", which is supposed to bring back the feelings that "[[you|we]] all had" the day after [[9/11]], the greatest made-for-TV-movie of all time. According to Beck, on 9-12, everything was totally groovy, and we should all get back to that day when we actually gave a shit for once. 
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He also openly admits he hates the victims of 9/11 so he is not doing this for their sake, but to make himself look more patriotic. Hating his own president, [[711chan|promoting rebellion]], calling for violence on [[Nancy Pelosi|political leaders]] and hating his countries terrorist attack victims proves this whole project is just [[unwarranted self importance]]. He does not give a shit about America, just [[Dumbistan]].
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<center><youtube>z9qWwy2DFwo</youtube></center>
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Glenn Beck loves his 911 victims, disregard the clip of him telling them to shut up and how much he hates them in the other half of the video, thats just the liberal media and Obama using their magical socialist czar powers to control what he says.
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<center><youtube>oumQl8neO6w</youtube></center>
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Beck claims that this grooviness consists of 9 principles and 12 values that we all [[lie|''allegedly'']] [[swap.avi|shared]] the day after [[9/11]]. [http://the912project.com/]
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<center><youtube>hf33g9ep4YU</youtube></center>
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The key word here being ''allegedly.''
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'''The 9 Principles'''
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*Math is for liberal, fat pussies.
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*[[America]] is the HNIC or Head Nigga In Charge. Built by stupid white men and for stupid white men only.
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*[[Ronald Reagan]] is the one true [[God]], and his sphincter tastes like marzipan.
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*It is hard not to be more honest tomorrow when you lied so much yesterday.
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*Moms should be fat and kill themselves.
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*Niggers are rowdy, hate working, and will always steal from you.
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*[[Obama]] is a rowdy nigger who wants to steal from you.
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*All taxes are just rowdy nigger shenanigans.
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*It is un-American to give your money away to rowdy welfare niggers.
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*The more I repeat rowdy nigger and communist as loud as I can, the more of a point I have just made.
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*When you're white, everything is awriiiiight!
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'''The 12 Values'''
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*Analingus
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*Propaganda
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*Killing mom
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*Ranting
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*Raving
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*Crying
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*[[Faux News]]
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*Fondling
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*Fail
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*Butthurt
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*Tantrums
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*Jiveass Baloney
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The main rhetorical device employed in convincing us of this program for a more corporate, dope-addled and gun crazy America is crying like a big pussy, or at least seeming to.
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==Glenn Beck: Ja Tvoi Rabotnik?==
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Though he often seems to exhibit what humans generally term "emotions" there is a chance that he may be a golem, or killer Jewish [[Evangelion|battlebot]], whose [[cp|true motivations]] are known only to the [[Jews]], a crafty and secretive people who pretend to be ineffectual neurotics only so that they will be underestimated by the rest of the world. Why anyone would engineer a salad-tossing, child-molesting cretin is anybody's guess, but the [[Jews]] are a very sneaky and intelligent species, and nothing is beyond them. If they can convince the world that the [[Holocaust]] actually happened, they could certainly have made Glenn Beck in one of their many secret labs.
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==Get Off My Phone==
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At the end when he calls her a pinhead I swear to god I thought he was the Penguin or some shit, wtf.
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<center><youtube>-n3QeHtSOfM</youtube></center>
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Maybe Glenn knews [[Then who was X|who "phone" was]] after all.
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<center><youtube>7XzM7t6FNJo</youtube></center>
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Round 2, [[fact|he wants you off his phone to rape you and 4 year olds.]]
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==The 2009 Frog Murder==
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In a 2009 show, Glenn Beck compared white America to a [[Rosie O'Donnell|slimy amphibian]] and then threw it into boiling water, this was some kind of analogy to describe Obamacare but it failed when the frog refused to jump out of the boiling water, and content itself with dying on the live show. Nevertheless, animal abuse is a pattern among serial killers and helps establish the fact that Glenn Beck DID kill and murder people.
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<center><youtube>4uL5Gjbn7SM</youtube></center>
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==Not all [[incest]] is wincest!==
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<center><youtube>vzbjQFe46FE</youtube></center>
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A dramatic reenactment of Beck's memoirs, "The Real America." (Moar liek "The Real [[Josef Fritzl|Austria]]" amirite?)
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== He tells it like it is. He's a Complete NutJob==
 +
<center><youtube>H2sLGK4dERE</youtube></center>
 +
 
 +
<center><youtube>FxJBJjj4_qw</youtube></center>
 +
 
 +
==Gallery of a Madman==
 +
{{cg|Gallery|Beck2|center|<gallery>
 +
Image:KomradBeck.jpg|Glenn Beck now calls himself Comrade and is infatuated by [[Karl Marx|old school Bolshevism]] after his psychiatrist tryied a new combination of pills for his ADHD.
 +
Image:Glenn beck fails.png|Glenn Beck fails at everything.
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Image:BeckFrogbook.jpg‎| This time its safe to judge a book by its cover. 
 +
Image:Beck4prez.png|Incumbent President Professor Glenn Beck. Notice bright-eyed supporter in front. 
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</gallery>|<gallery>
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Image:BeckHypnosis.gif |Conservatives gearing up to tackle the Obama crisis.
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Image:Glennbecknazi.jpg |Der Scheiße Führer.
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Image:Glennhiltonperezbeck.jpg‎ | Glenn Hilton or Perez Beck? Either way, that's one fat faggot!
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Image:Naked-beck.jpg |Glenn Beck hearts Mugwump jism.
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</gallery>}}
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==See Also==
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*[[Mark Levin]]
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*[[]]
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*[[Faux News]]
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*[[Bill O'Reilly]]
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*[[Rush Limbaugh]]
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*[[Michael Savage]]
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*[[Hal Turner]]
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*[[Ron Paul]]
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*[[Republican]]
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*[[CNN]]
  
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==References==
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==Resources==
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<references/>
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*[mailto:webmaster@theglennbeck912project.com glenbeck912project]
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{{DEFAULTSORT: Beck, Glenn}}
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*[http://www.glennbeck.com/ glennbeck.com]
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[[Category: Broadcasters]]
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*[http://foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com/ foxforum]
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[[Category: Television]]
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*[http://DidGlennBeckRapeAndMurderAYoungGirlIn1990.com DidGlennBeckRapeAndMurderAYoungGirlIn1990.com]
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[[Category: Conservative Commentators]]
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*[http://gatsome.com/2009/09/01/glenn-beck-raped-and-murdered-a-girl-in-1990/ gatsome with link to this very page]
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[[Category: Media personalities ]]
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*http://unreasonablysafe.com/2009/09/01/beckrape/
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[[Category: Conservatives]]
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*http://www.deathblow.org/
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*[http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/255332 Glenn Beck on South Park]
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*[http://glennbeckinsults.com/wordpress/images/ rape and murder 1990 images]
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*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn9MbQscz1w Asking Sarah Palin 'Why do I hear your voice?  I'm not in the kitchen.']
 +
{{foxnews}}
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[[Category:People]]
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[[Category:Trolls]]
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[[Category:TV Shows]]
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[[Category:IRL Shit]]
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[[Category:Memes]]

Revision as of 18:30, May 1, 2010

File:GlennBeckRaped.jpg
It doesn't have to be true, just keep repeating it until everyone agrees
File:Cartman 11-12b.jpg
Glenn Beck makes a guest appearance on South Park
File:Mad hatter beck.jpg
Glenn Beck is the Mad Hatter of Fox News' Tea Party

Glenn Beck (who raped and murdered a girl in 1990) is a drunk, homosexual, batshit crazy Muslim as well as an inept tv and radio host. He has ADHD, which you would never know by watching his program. Cough...

Glenn Beck is often assumed to be a real person but he is, in fact, a character conceived of and portrayed by Alfred Peachous, a well-regarded Canadian satirical theater actor.

Because of his homosexual obsession with Papa Bear O'Reilly, Glenn Beck frequently appears on the latter's show to rant and rave incoherently for the unintentional amusement of millions of viewers, never guessing his idol and one true love O'Reilly is a sadist who just loves it when Glenn makes a total ass out of himself to boost The O'Reilly Factor's ratings.

Once thought to be merely masquerading as a Libertarian bitching about government and raves about statism, often flying into epic fits of megalomaniac premenstrual failure that would make even Inmendham blush.

Beck frequently likes to draw incoherant, often misspelled charts on blackboards to pretend that he's a college professor, despite the fact that he never went to college and is an uneducated retard. Naturally his audience, primarily comprised of simple-minded motherers who spend their days playing with the shunts in their heads, cheerleading the relentless onslaught of the corporate hegemon which will eat them first, and staring at colours and shapes, are too ing retarded and lazy to go on the internet and research facts, so they just take his word on anything and everything. None of his opinions make even the slightest shred of sense or even come across as anything other than Moonspeak, although he (like so many other failures at life) has a legion of fangirls, mostly evangelical christian retards, who hang on his every unintelligible word.

Glenn is a professional , as is everyone on every cable news station, and while this means he should be generating lulz by pwning others, he more frequently pwns himself, as on his February 28, 2007 show, when he came on to US Weekly's Dina Sansing during their discussion about nude photos of some American Idol face. He has accused the USA's first elected Muslim Congressman, Keith Ellison, of being an Al Qaeda operative simply because he is Muslim, and once called Rosie O'Donnell a "fat witch". Although true, both of these statements were still uncalled for because they originated from such a moronic jackass.

Even exponentially more lulzy was his recent attempt to seem like he has actual feelings by crying on the air when speaking of how much he loves his country, which some have said was just an act, although Stephen Colbert insists it was real, because someone on cable news has to recognize just what an idiotic boob Glenn Beck really is.

TL;DR: Dude is pretty much a Nazi who raped and murdered a girl in 1990 (see below).

Typical Beck

File:GlenBeck197979797get.jpg
A 97979797 get determines that Glen Beck is in fact a wanker.
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Choice Quotes

Glenn Beck is positively chock full of weird, wacky, and just plain god-ing-awful soundbytes he's spouted over the years. Here's a sampling:

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The 1990 rape accusations

File:Hitler glenn beck and oj simpson.jpg
OJ Simpson got nathan on Glenn Beck.

Recent information has surfaced that has linked Beck to a string of rape-murders back in 1990. The controversial talk host would not comment on the accusations that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 while consuming alcohol and cocaine in great amounts. It was demanded Beck release his sealed criminal record, but has since failed to do so.

In light of these accusations, the 19/90 project was born, determined to get the info out and get Glenn Beck to release his sealed criminal record. The accusations were so credible, that all of the Glenn Beck Show's sponsors pulled their ads leaving him without a single advertiser and losing $600,000 in lost revenue each week.

In response to the glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com site (now known as http://gb1990.com/) exposing the facts as we know them, Glenn Beck got his bobblehead friends to file a copyright/trademark/Bawwwww complaint asserting he was way too cool to be subject to such satire, resulting in much wider exposure of his controversial past.

RAPE WAS THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE ME

May 10, 1990, 11 year old Robin Cornell and her 32 year old babysitter, Lisa Storey were found beaten, raped, and smothered to death in Cape Coral, Florida. Police are now interviewing local detectives to re-open the case, but if they don't find any new leads by the end of the year it will be closed. They are also looking into airing an episode on Americas Most Wanted. This town desperately needs your help in solving this case.

Beck was also linked to the rape and murder of seven-year old Margaret Shrader in Harris County, Texas in 1990.

The story has hit the media:

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-323336

Take Action

Here's what you do:

  1. Post the info ING EVERYWHERE!
  2. Set links to other sites (so google can index it)
  3. ???
  4. Profit

Go youtube on his ass:

1: Download this vid http://rapidshare.com/files/273665044/glennbeckisdead.m4v
2: Post on YouTube, naming it Glenn Beck - In loving Memory
3: ?
4: Break even.

Contact Glenn Beck

Please fill out this form and contact Beck[[1]] to come clean about what REALLY happened in 1990 and whether he raped and killed a young girl.

I, (insert name), am formally asking you to refute the claim that you viciously raped and murdered a girl in 1990. I have yet to see solid evidence for these claims, but I also have not seen you come out to dismiss them.

I am concerned, for if this is true, I do not think you should be on the air. Please, I ask you to come out about this and dismiss these allegations on your show, as the Internet is buzzing about this horrible act, that I HOPE is not true.

I look forward to seeing this dismissed on an upcoming show. Thank you.

glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com

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File:Glenn beck rape and murder.png
Lolsuit denied

In late 2009 Glenn Beck took glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com's owner to court for deflamation and 'brand name' intellectual property infringement, arguing that hapless web surfers would confuse glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com as an official Glenn Beck site. This pathetic attempt to censor the Internets and whitewash the evidence against Beck as a rapist and murderer ultimately went to arbitration where his motion was DENIED! by the WORLD INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY ORGANIZATION ARBITRATION AND MEDIATION CENTER ( aka NAMBLA ).

However, the altruistic folks at glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com decided to make a gift of the domain name to crybaby Beck and set up a mirror site at DidGlennBeckRapeAndMurderAYoungGirlIn1990.com (aka http://gb1990.com/).

Radio-Show trolling

This audio clip of him being accused of being a murderer on his[/Image:Beckradio090902.mp3 radio show]. Unfortunately, the clip is not very lulzy.

Theres a site where people can spread this rumor and a Facebook group for coordination

Gallery of Rape

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Glenn Beck's Life So Far

File:Pricelessfiles.jpg
Glenn Beck protects his priceless files

The great tragedy of Glenn Beck's life (and even more so of ours) is that his mother killed herself after giving birth to him instead of before. Legend has it that he drove her to consume entire bottles of pills just by talking to her at the dinner table one night.

Following this delicious swig of human tragedy, Glenn became a shit-faced drunk and a serial fondler of fat women, admitting later that he did this because the fat women reminded him of his mother, whom he'd always wanted to have meaty, sweaty sex with. Mama Beck had been morbidly obese as a result of all of the heavy drinking and compulsive eating she had done three years after giving birth to Glenn when he first began to speak and she realized what a raging asshole had come out of her pussy.


After years of drinking and fondling and crying like a bleeding vagina, and a brief period in the 80's where he got heavily into cocaine, sucking dicks made of used syringes in dumpsters full of bloody diapers filled with razor blades, as well as underage Arab boy-whores, he finally found Jesus, who appeared to him in the form of Ronald Reagan, offering Glenn his own radio show in exchange for his first-born child and two hours of analingus every Sunday. Little did Glenn know that Reagen also was a rapist who had 10 sessions a day of BDSM with Beck's daughter, causing her cerebral palsy, proving that Glenn Beck can't do anything right, including how to make a baby.

And we will never forget that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990. (Though there are some who believe that he murdered THEN raped a girl in 1990). It is generally believed that the girl was Gilbert Gottfried's daughter, though others contend it was Bob Saget's. Either way, it is known that Glenn Beck both raped and murdered a girl in 1990.

Glenn often claims to be Mormon, but this is only because he wants a life of polygamy, incest and underage poontang. He consistently maintains all people from Africa (including American black people) lack souls and go straight to Hell when they die, as all Mormons do. Occasionally he still trolls for boy cock on the Internet, even though this often causes the ghost of Reagan to become insanely jealous to the point where he sometimes "forgets" to wipe his ass before "church".

<youtube>bX1rLv_hNeI</youtube>

People Who Like Glenn Beck

Besides being far and few between, people who like Beck are often very much just like him. They often masquerade as people who seem to know what they're talking about, when in fact they have no idea what the hell is going on.

“Personally, though, I like the guy. I don't get to listen to him that often b/c he's on while I'm at work, but I did catch a little of his show today. He was saying that people should check the facts on the shows they watch and not just become mindless zombies who take what the media says as gospel. I like that.”

~ Some Woman, not taking Beck's advice

Novel idea Beck. But if people did that, they would "check the facts" on your show and realize... Oh shit, there aren't any.

Colbert

“The 9/12 project is not for families directly affected by 9/11, just people building their careers on it.”

~ Stephen Colbert

Beck's only true fanboi is Stephen Colbert. So moved by Beck's 9/12 project, Colbert was inspired to pay tribute and promote it on his own show.

<video type="comedycentral" id="223279" width='330' height='325' id=223279 desc="The 10/31 Project - Despite what it says, the vidya is available. DO IT FAGGOT!" frame="true" position="center"/>

Beck VS Ron Paul/Libertarians/Randroids etc etc

<youtube>Eg8M2JBIoqo</youtube>

On November 12th, 2007, Glenn Beck implied that any person who supports Ron Paul is a terrorist -- even though Ron Paul is not a terrorist, merely a failure, and the shortest man ever born in Texas. The real amusement comes from the fact that these are probably now the two most popular Conservatives in America, and they obviously hate each other, as each is so helplessly wrapped up in his own ego that he cannot even see that he is pissing on his own party. Even more outrageous is the fact that they are both secretly Jews and therefore responsible for 9/11, the derangement of modern media and the current economic crisis, which is really just an attempt to deflate all the world's currency and thereby increase the value of the precious Jew Gold.

The 9-12 Project

What Beck considers his greatest achievement (that is to say, his greatest failure), is his "9-12 Project", which is supposed to bring back the feelings that "we all had" the day after 9/11, the greatest made-for-TV-movie of all time. According to Beck, on 9-12, everything was totally groovy, and we should all get back to that day when we actually gave a shit for once. He also openly admits he hates the victims of 9/11 so he is not doing this for their sake, but to make himself look more patriotic. Hating his own president, promoting rebellion, calling for violence on political leaders and hating his countries terrorist attack victims proves this whole project is just unwarranted self importance. He does not give a shit about America, just Dumbistan.

<youtube>z9qWwy2DFwo</youtube>

Glenn Beck loves his 911 victims, disregard the clip of him telling them to shut up and how much he hates them in the other half of the video, thats just the liberal media and Obama using their magical socialist czar powers to control what he says.


<youtube>oumQl8neO6w</youtube>

Beck claims that this grooviness consists of 9 principles and 12 values that we all allegedly shared the day after 9/11. [2]

<youtube>hf33g9ep4YU</youtube>

The key word here being allegedly.

The 9 Principles

  • Math is for liberal, fat pussies.
  • America is the HNIC or Head Nigga In Charge. Built by stupid white men and for stupid white men only.
  • It is hard not to be more honest tomorrow when you lied so much yesterday.
  • Moms should be fat and kill themselves.
  • Niggers are rowdy, hate working, and will always steal from you.
  • Obama is a rowdy nigger who wants to steal from you.
  • All taxes are just rowdy nigger shenanigans.
  • It is un-American to give your money away to rowdy welfare niggers.
  • The more I repeat rowdy nigger and communist as loud as I can, the more of a point I have just made.
  • When you're white, everything is awriiiiight!

The 12 Values

  • Analingus
  • Propaganda
  • Killing mom
  • Ranting
  • Raving
  • Crying
  • Fondling
  • Fail
  • Butthurt
  • Tantrums
  • Jiveass Baloney

The main rhetorical device employed in convincing us of this program for a more corporate, dope-addled and gun crazy America is crying like a big pussy, or at least seeming to.

Glenn Beck: Ja Tvoi Rabotnik?

Though he often seems to exhibit what humans generally term "emotions" there is a chance that he may be a golem, or killer Jewish battlebot, whose true motivations are known only to the Jews, a crafty and secretive people who pretend to be ineffectual neurotics only so that they will be underestimated by the rest of the world. Why anyone would engineer a salad-tossing, child-molesting cretin is anybody's guess, but the Jews are a very sneaky and intelligent species, and nothing is beyond them. If they can convince the world that the Holocaust actually happened, they could certainly have made Glenn Beck in one of their many secret labs.

Get Off My Phone

At the end when he calls her a pinhead I swear to god I thought he was the Penguin or some shit, wtf.

<youtube>-n3QeHtSOfM</youtube>

Maybe Glenn knews who "phone" was after all.

<youtube>7XzM7t6FNJo</youtube>

Round 2, he wants you off his phone to rape you and 4 year olds.

The 2009 Frog Murder

In a 2009 show, Glenn Beck compared white America to a slimy amphibian and then threw it into boiling water, this was some kind of analogy to describe Obamacare but it failed when the frog refused to jump out of the boiling water, and content itself with dying on the live show. Nevertheless, animal abuse is a pattern among serial killers and helps establish the fact that Glenn Beck DID kill and murder people.

<youtube>4uL5Gjbn7SM</youtube>

Not all incest is wincest!

<youtube>vzbjQFe46FE</youtube>

A dramatic reenactment of Beck's memoirs, "The Real America." (Moar liek "The Real Austria" amirite?)

He tells it like it is. He's a Complete NutJob

<youtube>H2sLGK4dERE</youtube>
<youtube>FxJBJjj4_qw</youtube>

Gallery of a Madman

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See Also

Resources

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