Essay:Genesis (evolutionist version)

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In the beginning, there was nothing, and nothing happened to nothing.

Then, one day, nothing caused nothing to explode and magically turn into everything. No materials were used to create the planets and the stars. They simply appeared out of the explosion of nothing.

The planet earth was created by the sun, which was already born out of gasses that came from nothing, and the conditions gradually changed until they were coincidentally perfect to support life, which would come from nothing later. During the time the conditions changed, nothing caused the forming landscapes on earth to be beautiful, and sparkling waterfalls and rolling hills achieved beauty for no reason.

Then came the ultimate creation from nothing—for no reason, life formed. Not only did this incredible feat involve nothing to create it, but it appeared from what was originally nothing. With the nothing-to-life process underway, it follows logically that the nothing-life managed to gather information and complexity by particles that not only came from nothing but, for no reason, self-replicated and turned into plants, aquatic life, amphibians, reptiles, insects, birds, and mammals.

Suddenly, a primate that came from life that came from materials that came from nothing split into all different apes and then Man. For no reason, Man became the most intelligent species, but he was given nothing in the way of divine guidance, nothing of a moral compass, and nothing of any meaning in his life. Thus, the nothing-to-everything-to-life-to-primate-to-man Man began as a wild animal, sharing only the soul of his fellow life forms whose life was born out of nothing, life forms ranging from apple trees and ants to zebras and zero—zero being nothing from whence life, the universe, and all therein sprang.