Essay: The atheist and evolutionist helpline

From Conservapedia

Jump to: navigation, search
See Atheism and marriageability !!!

Don't let atheism and the pseudoscience of evolution turn you into a screechy monkey![1]

In 2010, the Christian apologetics website True Free Thinker wrote concerning the blog of atheist PZ Myers:

Scienceblogger Chad Orzel described the commentators on PZ Myers ' Scienceblogs.com site Pharyngula, and other Scienceblogs.com commentators, as "screechy monkeys."[2]

Don't let atheism and the pseudoscience of evolution turn you into a screechy monkey!

Contents

Attention atheist men! Why finding a wife may be so hard for you

Attention atheist men! Survey data and website tracking data of prominent atheist websites indicate that in the Western World, atheism appears to be significantly less appealing to women![3][4][5] Atheism may reduce your marriageability.[6][7][8][9] Don't tell women you are an atheist until at least the second date. Another option, given the shamefulness of atheism, is you could be a closet atheist like Charles Darwin and never admit to her that you are an atheist. After all, prominent atheists are not exactly known for their manliness.

However, when it comes to Christian ladies and marriage, a true Christian lady is going to ask if you are a Christian for the Bible teaches not to marry a non-Christian (The Bible also teaches a believer to stay married to a non-believer if you are already married).[10] In addition, interfaith marriages often have greater marital friction and interfaith marriages historically have had higher rates of divorce.[11] Therefore, it would not be surprising if atheist/theist marriages also have increased marital friction and higher rates of divorce since these two worldviews are so different.

Atheists, please don't lie. She may be very upset when the ugly truth comes out!

But please don't lie and pretend your a believer in God like Charles Darwin did in his work On The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection or The Preservation of Favored Races in the Struggle for Life because lying is a sin. Atheists, we know many of you have a secret you don't want to tell others. After all, prominent atheists have been haunted by the thought the natural world was the result of design. Even the great grand daddy of evolutionary "science" himself, Charles Darwin, late in life often had overwhelming thoughts the natural world was the result of design! After all is said and done, you know that God created and God designed the natural world and it must take a lot of work to suppress this matter.

The American Journal of Medicine medical journal declared that Darwin's wife, Emma, greatly disapproved of his evolutionist ideas and "This, facsimile of public reaction, must have kept lively his anxiety and torment".[12] For more information please see: Darwin's sickness.

Atheist men, please see: Atheism and marriageability Avoid her mother's rolling pin! Convert or stay in the atheist closet forever.

(photo from Flickr, see: license agreement)

Avoiding her daddy's shotgun and her mother's rolling pin

And forget about telling her parents you are an atheist! You don't want her father greeting you with a shotgun and a bunch of bananas and her mother greeting you with a rolling pin! And by all means keep the screeching to a bare minimum. Of course, given the abundance of the evidence for Christianity (see: Christian apologetics), the best way to avoid her daddy's shotgun and mother's rolling pin is to become a Christian!

How to avoid scowling at her mother's pictures of Jesus

Atheist men: Avoid all eye contact with her mother's pictures of Jesus in the house. You don't want to be caught scowling at her mom's pictures of Jesus. Put your hand over your eyes if need be. If her mother asks you if you have something in your eye, run out of the house immediately.

Atheism and rates of marriage in the United States

Christian apologist Michael Caputo wrote:

Recently the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life has published its mammoth study on Religion in America based on 35,000 interviews... According to the Pew Forum a whopping 37% of atheists never marry as opposed to 19% of the American population, 17% of Protestants and 17% of Catholics.[13]

Vox Day declared that according to the 2001 American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) "more than half of all atheists and agnostics don’t get married."[14]

Atheist men, still having problems finding a wife?

If you are still having a problem finding a wife, consider the possibility that the problem might be with you and not with womankind. Also, you may have problems controlling your screeching which often is very disconcerting to women. Keep reading below for additional help because there most certainly is help available.

Why some screechy monkeys screech so loud

The reason why some screechy monkeys screech so loud no doubt is they are plagued with doubts about atheism. Prominent atheists have experienced doubts about the validity of atheism.

A pilot who made the mistake of flying a pro-atheism aerial banner standing next to his atheism doghouse.[15]

Please see: Atheism doghouse

A pilot refuses to go into the atheism doghouse

See also: Atheism doghouse

In July of 2011, a pilot who was asked to fly a pro-atheism aerial banner refused and said "his wife would divorce him if he made the flight."[16]


Note: The idiom "in the doghouse" refers to "facing punishment for doing something wrong" and is often used by men to describe actions they took which made their spouses/girlfriends angry.[17]

3 things most women don't like

Spiders, snakes and atheism! [18][19][20]

3 Things many women love

1. Jesus

2. Many American women love their kind and generous God fearing husbands who tend to give more to charity than the typical American atheist.[21]

3. God's creation the pony

Ponies vs. atheism - Ponies win!

Women and girls throughout the world love ponies, but most women dislike atheism.[22][23][24] Ponies are often nicer than American atheists who typically give less to charity than American theists.[25]

See also: Ponies vs. atheism - Ponies win!

Do most women like the New Atheism?

No. Most women don't like the old atheism either. Most girls don't like atheism period! [26][27][28] Discussion over.

Two atheist men talking

Bob: My new girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment.

Sam: Why is she doing that?

Bob: I told her I was an atheist.

Interesting note about Hippocrates and New Atheists

Hippocrates, who was also against abortion, was an early advocate of the health benefits of exercise and nutrition.[29]

On the other hand, PZ Myers and a significant amount of other New Atheism leaders, seem to lack a full appreciation of the worthiness of nutritional science, exercise science and the latest findings of medical science (see: New Atheism leadership's problem with excess weight).

The atheist population appears to have a number of people who have problems with obesity (see: Atheism and obesity).

Obese atheists and marriageability

According to the abstract for a paper presented at the 2004 annual meeting of the American Sociological Association: "Obese individuals have fewer dating opportunities, marry later and marry less desirable partners."[30]

Studies indicate that atheists are a minority in the population. Studies also indicate that people tend to marry people with similar values or who resemble their parents or themselves.[31][32] In addition, the Bible teaches Christians not to marry a non-Christian (The Bible also teaches a believer to stay married to a non-believer if you are already married).[33] Also, interfaith marriages often have greater marital friction and interfaith marriages historically have had higher rates of divorce.[34] Therefore, it would not be surprising if obese atheists find it more difficult to find marriage partners and if atheist/theist marriages also have increased marital friction and higher rates of divorce since these two worldviews are so different.

Rebecca Watson vs. boorish atheists men: Epic atheist battle of the sexes

See: Elevatorgate

Screechy monkey syndrome - a closer examination

In 2010, the Christian apologetics website True Free Thinker wrote:

Scienceblogger Chad Orzel described the commentators on PZ Myers ' Scienceblogs.com site Pharyngula, and other Scienceblogs.com commentators, as "screechy monkeys."[35]

In February of 2010, the news organization The Telegraph reported that the atheist and evolutionist Richard Dawkins was embroiled "in a bitter online battle over plans to rid his popular internet forum for atheists of foul language, insults and 'frivolous gossip'."[36] In addition, Richard Dawkins has a reputation for being abrasive. For example, in September of 2010, Richard Dawkins became nasty towards a woman in an audience he spoke before (see: Women's views of Richard Dawkins).[37]

Extreme cases of socially challenged atheist men

See: Atheism and bestiality

The screechy monkey self-test. Are you in danger of becoming a screechy monkey?

Take the screechy monkey self-test:

Atheist makes candid admission?

"actually, I do have trouble finding a smart, intelligent and atheist girlfriend cause they are so rare..." [38]

What is atheism?

Atheism, as defined by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, the Routledge Encyclopedia of Philosophy, and other philosophy reference works, is the denial of the existence of God.[39][40][41] Unlike Christianity, which is supported by a large body of sound evidence (see: Christian apologetics), atheism has no proof and evidence supporting its ideology (see: Attempts to dilute the definition of atheism).

The Apostle Paul wrote:

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. - Romans 1:18-20 (NASB)[42]

Noted Bible commentator and clergyman Matthew Henry wrote concerning atheism: "A man that is endued with the powers of reason, by which he is capable of knowing, serving, glorifying, and enjoying his Maker, and yet lives without God in the world, is certainly the most despicable and the most miserable animal under the sun."[43]


Remember: Don't let atheism and the pseudoscience of evolution turn you into a screechy monkey!


Take the screechy monkey self-test before its too late!


The Screechy monkey self-test:


Help me! I'm a screechy monkey!

You took the screechy monkey self-test and found to your horror that you are a screechy monkey. Are you condemned to eating monkey chow for the rest of your life or is there an alternative?

There is an alternative. Please go HERE and HERE and HERE

Classic quotes from the Christian shockofgod YouTube channel

"The hostility I am getting over this question is unbelievable...It's like..picture this...Atheism is a clown and it didn't know it. And then I got the clown and I walked it over...I forced it to look itself in the mirror. And it sees itself in all its red hair, big nose, big shoes, polka dot glory." - Christian YouTube video producer shockofgod [44] Please see: Atheism is a clown and it did not know it

(photo obtained from Flickr, see: Creative commons license agreement)

See also: Attempts to dilute the definition of atheism and militant atheism

  • I received another email about someone becoming a Christian and leaving atheism... Now as you guys know, the atheist community on YouTube and also on radio and TV...They are in panic mode. It is obvious. Everyone on YouTube can see that this question that we are asking atheists that they cannot answer is really panicking the atheist community....Here is the question and then we will get to these awesome emails of atheists leaving atheism because the atheists cannot provide proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct...The question is: What proof and evidence can you provide that PROVES that atheism is accurate and correct?...You see I left atheism because the lack of proof and evidence that it is accurate and correct. The proof and evidence is for Jesus Christ.[45]
  • "We are getting atheists leaving atheism. They are like dropping like flies. They are realizing...You know what? Atheism is madness. There is no proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct."[46]
  • "An email from an atheist: 'There is no proof and evidence that atheism is accurate and correct. Happy now?' Ha! Ha! Ha! And he goes on and on about Santa Claus. Oh atheists, feel the sting."[47]
  • "The hostility I am getting over this question is unbelievable...It's like..picture this...Atheism is a clown and it didn't know it. And then I got the clown and I walked it over...I forced it to look itself in the mirror. And it sees itself in all its red hair, big nose, big shoes, polka dot glory."[48]
  • "The Atheists Experience Show has failed. Dprjones has failed. Well, you know they're atheists. They're used to failure...Every atheists has failed."[50]
  • "What proof and evidence can you provide as an atheist that atheism is accurate and correct. Game over atheists. You have nothing. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Game over."[51]

Atheists say the darndest things!

A [[militant atheism militant atheist]] says hello to his neighbor during a stroll through his neighborhood.

Please also see: Atheists say the darnedest things!

(photobucket picture, see: license agreement)

Resources for leaving atheism and becoming a Christian

see also: Resources for leaving atheism and becoming a Christian

Below are some resources for leaving atheism and becoming a Christian:

Ex-atheist testimonies

See also: Ex-atheist testimonies

Video Testimonies of ex-atheists

General videos:

Ex-atheist Lee Strobel


Lee Strobel videos:


C.S. Lewis video:

Peter Hitchen videos - brother of atheist Christopher Hitchens

Audio testimonials of ex-atheists

Text testimonials of ex-atheists

Videos on atheism

Atheism website resources

Tips on choosing a Christian church

See also

Comedy and satire:

References

  1. http://www.truefreethinker.com/articles/pz-myers-and-pavlovs-monkeys
  2. http://www.truefreethinker.com/articles/pz-myers-and-pavlovs-monkeys
  3. http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/NONES_08.pdf
  4. http://www.livescience.com/culture/090227-religion-men-women.html
  5. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_appears_to_be_significantly_less_appealing_to_women
  6. http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/NONES_08.pdf
  7. http://www.livescience.com/culture/090227-religion-men-women.html
  8. http://creation.com/atheism
  9. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_appears_to_be_significantly_less_appealing_to_women
  10. http://www.gotquestions.org/household-salvation.html
  11. http://blogs.chron.com/believeitornot/2010/06/interfaith_marriages_more_like_1.html
  12. "The Illness of Charles Darwin", William B. Bean, September 1978, American Journal of Medicine
  13. http://creation.com/atheism
  14. http://creation.com/atheism
  15. http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/30/atheists-flying-ad-campaign-meets-strong-resistance/
  16. http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/30/atheists-flying-ad-campaign-meets-strong-resistance/
  17. http://www.goenglish.com/inthedoghouse.asp
  18. http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/NONES_08.pdf
  19. http://www.livescience.com/culture/090227-religion-men-women.html
  20. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_appears_to_be_significantly_less_appealing_to_women
  21. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_and_uncharitableness
  22. http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/NONES_08.pdf
  23. http://www.livescience.com/culture/090227-religion-men-women.html
  24. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_appears_to_be_significantly_less_appealing_to_women
  25. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_and_uncharitableness
  26. http://www.americanreligionsurvey-aris.org/reports/NONES_08.pdf
  27. http://www.livescience.com/culture/090227-religion-men-women.html
  28. http://www.conservapedia.com/Atheism_appears_to_be_significantly_less_appealing_to_women
  29. http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/pe/exs190web/exs190history.htm
  30. http://www.allacademic.com/meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/1/0/9/0/5/p109057_index.html
  31. http://www.physorg.com/news199509031.html
  32. http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/6188
  33. http://www.gotquestions.org/household-salvation.html
  34. http://blogs.chron.com/believeitornot/2010/06/interfaith_marriages_more_like_1.html
  35. http://www.truefreethinker.com/articles/pz-myers-and-pavlovs-monkeys
  36. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/7322177/Richard-Dawkins-in-bitter-web-censorship-row-with-fellow-atheists.html
  37. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/richard-dawkins-i-never-meet-people-who-disagree-with-me-2080451.html
  38. Getting Ladies to Join Your Atheist Group
  39. http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/atheism-agnosticism/
  40. Is Atheism More Rational by Creation Ministries International
  41. http://www.thedivineconspiracy.org/athart3.htm
  42. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%201:18-20&version=NASB
  43. http://www.ccel.org/ccel/henry/mhc1.ii.html
  44. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  45. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  46. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  47. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  48. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  49. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  50. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjS__cWr0Y0
  51. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkpKs4oSBf0
Personal tools