Essay: Why do so many people complain about narcissists?

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Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.[1]

Narcissism is excessive love of oneself. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who resisted the advances of a nymph and was consequently made to fall in love with his own reflection. In psychology, extreme narcissism is a symptom of Narcissistic personality disorder, in which a person overestimates his own abilities and attractiveness, at the expense of concern for the needs and feelings of others.

Question: Why do so many people complain about narcissists?

12 things narcissists hate that make them so irritating to so many people

See also: 12 things narcissists hate that make them so irritating to so many people

Key useful phrases when dealing with narcissists:

“I am not interested, thank you.”; “I have nothing more to add, thank you.”; "I have nothing further to add. Thank you. Feel free to engage in last wordism."[2]

16 Phrases to Disarm a Narcissist

When you say no to a narcissist - video

A Narcissist's Unwillingness To Hear Your "No" - Video

People with Narcissistic personality disorder have a lot of personal issues.

What they hate makes them irritating to many people and 12 of these things are given below:[3][4]

1. Narcissists must be admired. They require constant, excessive admiration. And when they don't get it, they get very mad - horse throwing mad!

2. Narcissists loathe to be told they are wrong due to their highly inflated view of themselves.

The article Why Do Narcissists Always Have to Be Right? hits the nail on the head when it indicates: "If you've lived with a pathological narcissist, you know that they have to be right. Nobody likes to be wrong, but narcissists take it so far beyond where most people would. They will make up lies, they will invent facts, they will attack you personally and even physically in an effort to get you to admit they are right. But why? Why is it so important to them to be right that they will even go so far as to engage in abuse in order to win?".

Narcissists hate it when people speak factually and logically. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often practice the psychological defense mechanism of denialism.[5] Because people with narcissism are so in love with themselves, they have a distorted view of the world filled with their narrow pet views/theories/ideologies which they are loathe to admit are wrong. And when people tell them that they are wrong about anything, especially their pet views/theories/ideologies, they get very mad! They tend to read/view informational sources that reinforce their narrow "bubble boy" view of the world and are very ideological/partisan in nature.

Narcissists will drone on and on with great emotion and hysteria about their "truths" which are not truths at all.

And when people diplomatically tell them "you are certainly entitled to your opinion" or "I'm sorry you feel that way", they get hopping mad because their "truths" are absolute truths!

3. Narcissists hate creativity. Because they have such a narrow vision of the world that is "me, me, me" oriented, they hate creative people who think outside their narrow, self-imposed box of "me oriented fantasy" that is a very distorted view of the world.

4. Narcissists hate authority which makes them disruptive to organizations. Narcissists hate authority because they are so me-oriented and have a thirst for power. See: Toxic gamma males. Keep them out of your life and organizations

5. Narcissists, who are very selfish, hate being told no. And a very firm no causes them to go beserk!

6. Narcissists hate bad consequences related to their actions and being held accountable because they loathe being wrong.

7. Narcissists hate defeats and losing at anything because they are insecure egotists.

8. Narcissists hate correction and public humiliation because that implies they made mistakes.

9. Narcissists hate not having access to someone because they are so inflated with their own sense of self-importance.

10. Narcissists hate 99% of other people. Because narcissists are such selfish, unsufferable people they have few friends. And the friends they do have must admire them. Individuals with strong narcissistic, sociopathic/psychopathic issues deny, project, accuse, and attempt to confuse and/or hurt others.[6][7] Narcissism is a component of a Dark Triad personality.

11. Narcissists hate confident people - especially people who are assertive and call them on their bad behavior or say their foolish pet ideologies/theories are wrong.

12. Narcissists hate change - especially when it's beyond their control. People cease their relationships with narcissists and in the natural course of time their pet views/theories/ideologies are shown to be wrong.

Articles/videos on what narcissists hate

Videos:

Narcissists often act childish

Being married to a narcissists is a living hell. Narcissism as a cause of divorce

See also: Divorce and Narcissism and divorce

Research does suggest that people who marry multiple times are more likely (than people who do not marry multiple times) to have personality traits and issues with emotional health that make it difficult to maintain satisfying, long-term relationships.

That can mean, even if you're not looking for anything lasting, you won't have much fun with a narcissist whose self-absorption and emotional detachment helped end several marriages."[8]

There is much divorce in the modern world.

The abstract for journal article Personality characteristics of Divorce-Prone individuals: A preliminary clinical study published in the journal Contemporary Family Therapy indicates:

This study focuses on Divorce-Prone individuals and the question of why some persons fail in one marriage after another. The authors studied 12 individuals who had each been divorced two or more times. They found that the cases fell into one of three broad and overlapping groups. The groups have been called the Self-Involved Narcissists, the Compliant Depressed, and the Casualties of Life's Vicissitudes. The individuals and the groups demonstrate a different etiology, different treatment problems, and a very different prognosis.[9]

According to the psychologist Holly Parker who teaches the course "The Psychology of Close Relationships" at Harvard University, "Research does suggest that people who marry multiple times are more likely (than people who do not marry multiple times) to have personality traits and issues with emotional health that make it difficult to maintain satisfying, long-term relationships. That can mean, even if you're not looking for anything lasting, you won't have much fun with a narcissist whose self-absorption and emotional detachment helped end several marriages."[10]

Narcissists are a problem within organizations when it comes to leadership

Narcissism has been linked to a range of leadership problems such as substandard employee motivational skills, risky decision making, and in some extreme cases, white-collar crime.[11]

Obsessive narcissists

Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS indicates: "Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) share similar symptoms and risk factors, including high levels of perfectionism, a need for control, and rigid thought and behavior patterns."[12]

PsychCentral indicates about obsessive narcissists:

This personality is a combination of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Some of the traits include: ritualistic order, myopic or hyperfocus, unreasonable persistence, single-minded determination, wont listen to advice, cant see things from others perspective, quietly boisterous, doesnt listen to no, uses extremes or exaggerations in arguments, gives excessive details or explanations, keeps mementos of successes, and tramples those in their way. An accurate assessment of this personality is essential to the process.[13]

Some narcissists are frequently very obsessive and repetitive. They will repeat the same tired, wrongheaded ideas, speeches, self-serving narratives, petty concerns and attempt to force people to listen.

They will give the same repetitive speeches over and over - even to the point of the sentences being the same. They will repeat the same sentences over and over again, as if people didn't hear the first five times.

This behavior is often a vain attempt to control their surroundings and bolster their fragile egos.

Often the best course of action is to ignore them (See: The power of ignoring toxic people).

What makes so many narcissists such miserable and insecure people? Why they are such wet blankets?

Wet blanket.png

See also: Narcissistic personality disorder and Narcissistic rage

People with narcissistic personality disorder are often miserable people who suffer from insecurity.

Healthline.com's article What Is Narcissistic Rage, and What’s the Best Way to Deal with It? states:

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) happens when someone has an exaggerated or overly inflated sense of their own importance. It’s different from narcissism because NPD is linked to genetics and your environment.

Someone experiencing narcissistic rage may feel that someone else or an event in their life is threatening or may injure their self-esteem or self-worth.

They may act and feel grandiose and superior to others. For example, they may demand special treatment and honor even if it appears that they’ve done nothing to earn it.

People with NPD may have an underlying feeling of insecurity and feel unable to handle anything they perceive as criticism.

When their “true self” is revealed, a person with NPD may also feel threatened, and their self-esteem is crushed.

As a result, they may react with a variety of emotions and actions. Rage is only one of them, but it’s often one of the most visible.[14]

Vindictive narcissism

Not all people with narcissistic personality disorder act vindictively.[15]

Vindicative narcissism is often a response to narcissistic injury when someone offends them due to their sense of entitlement/grandiosity.[16]

Related articles/videos:

Why narcissists are terrible forecasters

See: Why narcissists are terrible forecasters who can't improve their forecasting ability

Two large segments American society are the baby boomer generation and the millennial generation and they are both narcissistic

Two large segments American society are the baby boomer generation and the millennial generations

Christopher Lasch, an American historian and social critic, in his 1979 book The Culture of Narcissism contends that “every age has its own peculiar forms of pathology, which express in exaggerated form its underlying character structure.”[17]

The baby boom generation was commonly referred to as the "me generation".[18] Christopher Lasch asserted that North American society in the 1970s was a narcissistic society that worshipped fame and consumption, feared dependency/aging, and possessed death anxiety.[19]

However, according to a study conducted by researchers at the University of Rochester and published in the Journal of Personality in 2023, baby boomers now overall scored lower on measures of narcissism than their 40-odd year younger millennials cohorts.[20]

User: Conservative's general essays and articles about life

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References

  1. What Is Narcissistic Rage, and What’s the Best Way to Deal with It?, Healthline.com
  2. How to Say "No" to a Narcissist, Psychology Today, 2022
  3. 8 Things a Narcissist Absolutely Hates, According to a Psychologist, Parade.com
  4. How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Hate
  5. Defense Mechanisms in Schizotypal, Borderline, Antisocial, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders
  6. 5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You, PsychCentral.com
  7. Defense Mechanisms in Schizotypal, Borderline, Antisocial, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders
  8. Dating in an age of multiple divorces by Richard Asa, Chicago Tribune, January 16, 2013
  9. Personality characteristics of Divorce-Prone individuals: A preliminary clinical study by Robert M. Counts MD & Anita Sacks MSW, volume 8, pages111–123 (1986)
  10. Dating in an age of multiple divorces by Richard Asa, Chicago Tribune, January 16, 2013
  11. "Leader emergence: the case of the narcissistic leader". Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin 34 (12): 1663–1676. December 2008. doi:10.1177/0146167208324101. PMID 18794326. http://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/d9c9/4ab638f9182a79e96f7be1bcee582bab9c1c.pdf. 
  12. OCD & Narcissism: Links, Causes, & Treatment, Hailey Shafir, LCMHCS, LPCS, LCAS, CCS
  13. The Obsessive Narcissist: Stopping the Suffocation
  14. What Is Narcissistic Rage, and What’s the Best Way to Deal with It?, Healthline.com
  15. Why Do Some People With Narcissistic Personality Act in Vindictive Ways?, PsychCentral
  16. Narcissist's Revenge: Signs YOU are in DANGER, Professor Sam Vaknin
  17. From “Compensation” to “Childhood Wonder”: Why Parents Buy, Allison J. Pugh, Working Paper No. 39, May 2002
  18. Bristow, Jennie (2015). Baby Boomers and Generational Conflict. Macmillan Publishers.
  19. From “Compensation” to “Childhood Wonder”: Why Parents Buy, Allison J. Pugh, Working Paper No. 39, May 2002
  20. Baby Boomers and Narcissism: The Real Science